Whenever I tell someone I’m going on vacation, they don’t tell me to have a safe trip or take lots of pictures. No. Inevitably, they say the same thing every single time:  “Bring me back something good.” Of course they mean a souvenir. Love getting them, but hate giving them.

Well, this spring break I’m doing things a little different; I’m going to think outside the box and break the souvenir norm. Who said souvenirs had to be “fun” or “safe”?

Gone are the days of snow globes, useless thimbles, ugly t-shirts and fragile shot-glasses. Instead, I have come up with five ideas of what to bring back from those sunny spring break cities. Whether you need gifts for your friends or mementos for yourself, these ideas will keep the memory alive for years to come.

1. A new last name: Why not pull a Mariah and come back with a hyphenate? There’s a reason celebrity vacations splash the covers of tabloids, and that reason is scandal. Nothing spells gossip like spontaneous beach-side nuptials. Friends and commitment-phobes alike will enjoy this souvenir, just remember to get Britney’s annulment lawyer before you sign your new name on the dotted line. Read More »

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Mariah and Diddy are going head to head. Or should I say, smell to smell.

After Puffy’s (can we call him that anymore?) new fragrance Unforgivable hit the market (along with his unforgivably raunchy and illicit ad campaign) he issued a challenge to all his lady counterparts in the fragrance biz:

“I send out a challenge…I challenge all of my female counterparts that have fragrances…that my fragrance is better than theirs. I’m a man and I know how women should smell!”

Well, Hallelujah! A man that finally knows how I should smell.

Because, god forbid, I smell anything like I do at the present moment, which would be unshowered, with a slight scent of BBQ sauce from the hours I spent working last night. Oh! AND I’m pretty gassy because I drank too much when I got off work!

How’s that for lady smells, PUFF DADDY?? Read More »