Only douchebags drink Ed Hardy Vodka

Here’s an analogy for you, try to channel those SAT study sheets. (Ew I know, worst memory ever.)

Intellectual is to Bookstore as College Student is to __________.

Yes, the answer is liquor store. On my weekly (OK, daily) visits I peruse the shelves searching for a hidden gem. A creamy liquor stuck in the back, a girly vodka that will be the life of Friday’s pre-gaming party session. I constantly find myself lost in the aisles emerging an hour later with nothing to show for it but a bottle of Smirnoff, because, let’s be real, a girl can dream but I’m on a college budget here.

But just like memoirs by celebs who have done absolutely nothing worth writing about (Paris Hilton anyone?) crowding Borders’ shelves, I find myself annoyed by the obnoxiously overpriced bottles of celebrity alcohols that have made their way into my serves-the-under-21-crowd corner store. As if infiltrating every other aspect of my life wasn’t enough.

Can’t a girl relax in a liquor store without having to fight her way through tacky advertising gimmicks and heart stopping price tags?

Apparently not. I think a couple of them are so obnoxious and unnecessary that they are worth a mention. And a cease and desist. And the winners are…

Dan Aykryod: Crystal Head Vodka

Oh goody, vodka in a crystal skeleton head!? I will definitely pay $50 for that. Not! I think I can get the same affect by stopping by the Halloween store pick up a couple plastic skeletons and dumping my $10 Svedka in it, thankyouverymuch. Read More »

Seriously, it’s getting really hard to hate Angelina when she’s so damn perfect.

Lady Gaga and Marilyn Manson?

10 fashion tips that will never go out of style.

Is there a Samantha Ronson reality show in the works?

Chew gum, get bigger breasts.

Calvin Klein gets naughty.

You miss Obama’s speech last night? Well here you go…

Top 10 ways to ensure you won’t get a job…

Another plane crash? WTF? I’m never flying again!

Octomom was offered $1 million to do a porno…would you watch? Ew.

Solving the accidental butt-crack show when you bend over in your fav jeans…

Beware AT&T users: Do NOT answer calls from area code 809!

Dying 9-year-old’s last wish is to get married…so she did. Kinda.

I don’t know how I feel about these new Vera Wang shades. What do you think?

Mmm…pancakes.

Evan Rachel Wood is back with Manson. Why?

Typically, a strong woman with intellect and the ability to articulate that which is on her mind is a positive thing. Regardless of beliefs or heavy opinions, the ability to reasonably debate should be held in high regard in a world where feminism seems taboo to much of society and many men are still uncomfortable dating a better-read or better-versed woman.

A smart woman in the public eye should be revered. A smart, BEAUTIFUL woman in the public eye should draw even more attention to herself if the data I’ve collected on the correlation between beauty and attention is correct.

And hence we have the problem with Ann Coulter.

She happens to be remotely intellectual, well-read, able to debate, and beautiful. She should, theoretically, be a feminist icon for all strong-willed and curiously-minded women. She should, regardless of party or religion, be a demonstration to society that women can think in a calculative manner and speak freely, as well as intelligently. She should be these things because she is gifted and qualified to be these things.

Yet instead, she exploits her talent and intellect. Instead, she sabotages her own ability to speak on behalf of women. For those of you who don’t know, Ann Coulter is a best-selling author about as relevant to literature as Marilyn Manson is to music. Like Marilyn Manson, the woman sells her books because of shock-value and shock-value alone. Without hesitation, Ann Coulter sums up liberalism as “the opposition party to god.” She has claimed that societal problems are based on single motherhood, that liberalism is a religion, and that democrats are incapable of fighting a war on terrorism. Ann Coulter refers to President Elect Obama as B. Hussein Obama and writes off her blatant attempt to brainwash her listeners into associating him with Saddam Hussein as humor. Read More »

[Celebrities get paid to look good and serve as a style guide to all us common folk, and part of looking good is flaunting their totally awesome fashion sense. Each week, I will be highlighting my Style Idol of the week: a celebrity who consistently shows keen fashion sense and whose closet I would raid in a heartbeat.

Of course, no celebs are immune to the occasional “what the hell were they thinking?” moment, but for the most part, these celebs look foxy and fabulous and inspire us all to do the same.]

Dita Von Teese is famous for her infinitely sexy burlesque act (I actually saw her perform at a small party a few years back, and let me say, it is quite spectacular), and for having been married to freakish Marilyn Manson. Lately, however, she has been getting a new sort of notoriety: for her fabulous style.

Dita stands on her own as the Diva of Retro. She pulls off this look with vintage-inspired clothing, dramatic coloring and her signature pin-up hair and ruby red lips. She is a dream for many couture designers such as Marchesa, Vivienne Westwood, Roland Mouret and Christian Dior/John Galliano, as their gowns perfectly hug her amazing and almost unbelievable hourglass figure. She accentuates the beauty of her classic looks by adding fun and flirty accessories like sky-high heels and funky hats.

Dita embodies glamour like no one else and makes it look effortless in the process; that’s enough for me (or anyone) to consider her a Style Idol of our time. Read More »

Madagascar 2 is expected to rock your socks off, starting this weekend.

Looking for your next love? Look no further, Marilyn Manson is now single! Lucky you!

Is anyone else sick of politics? There is more exciting press to come today.

Pygmy hippos are making a comeback. Well, trying anyway.

Here are some ideas on how to pinch pennies during these oh-so-hard times.

Does Oprah have a new man? What happened to Gayle?

It is SO fashionable to be eco-friendly. Rock it, girl!

Another alleged mobster is now behind bars, but at least now he looks great!

Even President Bush’s dog is pissing people off.

Yet another reported school shooting. So sad. When will the madness stop?

I love Tina Fey and her poopy perspective

20 pick-up lines for people wearing keyboard pants

I can only imagine the conversation between “Speidi” and Bush

The Michael Showalter Showalter with Michael Cera

Dude, where’s my dress?

Proving the impossible: Jimmy Fallon annoys me more than Carson Daly

The College Bucket List

The JoBros on the Big O!

Sometimes I wonder what Marilyn Manson’s diary is like

Abercrombie & Fitch “adults only” catalogue

Oh snap, Rupert Grint is sassy

Students for Concealed Carry on Campus…on Facebook

I love me some rainbow, alphabet-print, spandex onesies

Michelle Obama isn’t funny–but is she supposed to be?

Jamie-Lynn: still the more responsible Spears

I still don’t see the whole Marilyn Manson attraction

Sex and the City: not a documentary

Remember when plastic surgery was sort of taboo?

I want to be this 13-year-old when I grow up

Need a Mega Mac to start your day?…and finish it?

It seems as though every new season brings with it a slew of new embarrassing naked pictures or grainy sex tapes. Spring has sprung, quite literally, with the release of Sex and the City star Kristen Davis’ naughty pictures and The Hills’ Audrina Patridge’s naked photos and the probably fake dirty video of Lindsey Lohan . None of it is quite High School Musical scandalous… in fact, it’s all rather disappointing.

Here are some sex tapes I’d like to see:

Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood

Oh wait, they’ve already made one and called it a music video. On second thought, I’m okay with never watching that again. Read More »

What’s almost as creepy as a real kiss between Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood? An onscreen kiss between Mary Kate Olsen and Ben Kingsley who is 42 years her senior. Woof!

MK is making her first real on screen debut in The Wackness starring Josh Peck and Ben Kingsley who play a drug dealer (Peck) and a therapist (Kingsley) that form a friendship.

Olsen is one of the dealer’s clients and in some tangled web ends up in a “passionate scene” with Kingsley. Interesting. Read More »