Clooney is like a fine wine

Politicians judged by their baby-holding abilities

J.Lo gets taken over by Scientologists?

WTF?!

Disturbing, disturbing babies in food costumes

I mean, who doesn’t want a white trash birthday?

Halle Berry preggers?

Break these fashion rules

Posh uses poop to maintain clear complextion

More reasons for guys to watch football

Go Go Power Rangers…not so much

That’s what SHE said!

Palin is NOT invited to Madonna’s party

Someone actually married Howard Stern

What if Beyonce was a boy?

God, those Scientologists are after everyone!

Kim Kardashian addresses life’s biggest issues….on video.

Splenda may kill you, but it’s not as bad as the other stuff you’re using!

A how-to guide for sex in some very public places.

The 12 Types of Beer Pong Players.

Prada runway roadkill.

Funniest ad ever…or most offensive?

Melissa Joan Hart can’t even get on Dancing With The Stars? HAHA.

In case you were wondering: Martha Stewart’s thoughts on long weiners…

Mmmmm. Breast milk ice cream?

The Britney Spears comeback continues. Next up: sell the house.

Nick Hogan is gettin’ out of the clink early. Shocking!

Mama Spears always has something to say.

Oh man, do I love pie. It’s kind of impossible to explain just how much I love it…but I mean, when somebody made me peach and blueberry pie for my birthday last week, I ate it for almost every meal for two days. I did not get sick. It was glorious.

My fellow editor in crime knows how much I love crust and fruit, so she recently sent me this recipe with the words “True story: this pie will make you drool” in the subject line of the email. Even though I’m a pretty stupid cook, I decided to try to make the thing the night I got the email — and you know what? It really wasn’t that hard. The whole presentation wasn’t Martha Stewart pretty or anything, but it tasted like heaven and Martha Stewart has 700 people helping her on a daily basis.

What You Need

9-inch frozen pie crust

3/4 c. plus 5 T. all-purpose flour

2/3 c. firmly packed golden brown sugar

1/3 c. granulated sugar plus 1 T. for the filling

2 t. ground cinnamon

1/8 t. salt

1/2 c. cold unsalted butter, cut into 3/4 in. pieces

5 c. blueberries Read More »

I’ve got to get this out. Joy Bauer pisses me the f*ck off.

For those of you who have saved yourself by not knowing who this lady is, I’m about to ruin you — Joy Bauer is the nutritionist correspondent for the Today Show. She’s also published a ton of books and written about eating your veggies for a bunch of publications. Basically, she’s the Martha Stewart of the health world.

So why do I hate her? Because she’s systematically trying to destroy my happy relationship with food.

Every time I turn on the Today Show (read: while I’m on the elliptical at the ass crack of dawn or getting ready to brave the day) Bauer seems to be running her mouth about all the fantastic! and easy! ways for Americans to lose weight. As she gestures with her skinny arms (I want to know if this lady has ever lived a day over 115 pounds) to bad foods! and their subsequent good food! counterparts, I can’t help but want to shake that way-too-wide grin off her face.

Because she wouldn’t be so happy if she was actually taking all of her grey, lifeless advice.

Her recent “4 Weeks to a Better Body” segment illustrates exactly what I’m taking about. Her advice to get thin in 4 weeks? Basically: make your life so boring food wise the pounds will drop off your body in pity.

Some example “tips”:

1) keep only one or two snack items in the house

One or two snack items? Who the hell enjoys eating the same damn thing over and over again? Even peanut butter filled pretzel bites lose their appeal if they’re my only “snack” source for an extended period of time. This method is sure to make me start hating foods I once loved. Read More »

This pig was afraid of dirt (seriously). So someone gave it ADORABLE galoshes.

I would wear these. I would probably sprain my ankle every two steps, but I would wear them.

Linda Hogan is dating a 19-year-old kid. Oh yeah, he’s also her daughter’s CLASSMATE. …and his hair is disturbingly blonde.

Martha! You’re being very suggestive!

Ashanti, and her entire marketing team, are idiots.

Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is being treated very well by pregnancy

50 Worst Sex Scenes in film history. Watch at your own discretion (but not at work. Totally NSFW)

I’ve decided that to keep my budget under $100, I’m going to use internet resources and not buy all the books I really want to buy. Like this one. and this one.

But I digress. The first website I checked our was Flylady, which I’d heard a lot of good things about and at first glance seems frightening comprehensive. Seriously, there is so much on this site that I’m not really sure where to start. I find a ‘Beginner’s Babysteps” section and note that they mention something about sending you 15-20 emails a day. Yeah, I don’t think so.

I get the impression this website is more for people who need their hand held–That’s not me, but maybe it would work for you. Flylady does give me the idea of sectioning my house into “zones” and concentrating there. She does have some good tips, though. I would start in her site index and skip around.

Next I try organized home and it seems a lot more user friendly. It puts many of its tips into list form, which is good for me because I read “list” fluently. I also like it because it gives you tips not only to help you get organized in the first place, but to maintain your level of organization.

I was hesitant to look at Martha Stewart’s website; I’ve always kind of thought that her ideas were interesting, but not always especially practical or doable on a budget or my kindergartner’s level of organization skills. I can admit it, I was wrong. Read More »

Cookie or cupcake? Cookie or cupcake?? Ahhh life is full of tough decisions. And since I am the world’s worst decision maker (I swear it’s the Libra in me), I just couldn’t make up my mind the other day. So I chose both.

No, I didn’t spent all day baking various desserts. I just made one and got both my treats. That’s right. I made Martha Stewart’s Chocolate Chunk Cookie Cupcakes.

What you’ll need to make 2 dozen:

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened

3/4 cup granulated sugar

3/4 cup packed light-brown sugar

3 large eggs

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1/3 cup whole milk

8 ounces semisweet chocolate, cut into 1/2-inch chunks

How to make these cookie cupcakes: Read More »

It looks like a dish you would get in an authentic Italian restaurant, but it’s simple to make! And it’s a recipe from Martha Stewart, so you’ll look especially gourmet after whipping this one up.

Technically, the recipe calls for bocconcini cheese, but since I had no idea what that was, I substituted little balls of mozzarella and it worked out just fine. In fact, it was fabulous!

Here’s what you’ll need:

Salt and pepper

3/4 lb ground turkey

1/2 C plain dry breadcrumbs

2 garlic cloves, minced Read More »

Bar food: So fabulously yummy, yet so tragically fattening. I swear, if I even look at a plate of mozzarella sticks or fried zucchini I immediately gain 5 pounds. So imagine my delight when I came across these healthier versions of some of our unhealthiest weaknesses.

It is no secret that Hungrygirl.com is a godsend to those looking to indulge sans guilt. Now, I think I may just have another reason to love them. So whip up these bad boys, grab your gal pals, pull out some light beer and watch some football (Girls Just Want To Have Fun works too…hey, dancing is a sport!)

Mozzarella Fix

Ingredients:

2 light mozzarella sticks (50-60 calories and 2.5g fat per stick)

1/4 cup Fiber One bran cereal (original)

2 tbsp. fat-free liquid egg substitute

salt, pepper & Italian seasonings; to taste

Optional: low-fat marinara sauce (for dipping)

Directions:

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a food processor or blender, grind Fiber One to a breadcrumb-like consistency. Place crumbs in a small plastic container with a lid. Season crumbs with as much salt, pepper and Italian seasonings as you like. Set aside. Cut cheese sticks in half, so that you have 4 sticks. Place sticks in a small bowl, and pour egg substitute over the top of the sticks. Swirl egg substitute around so that it thoroughly coats the sticks. One by one, transfer sticks to the container with the crumbs. Cover container, and give it a shake to coat the sticks in the crumbs. Carefully return sticks to the dish with the egg substitute, and coat them again. Read More »

Halloween. A time for drinking, provocative costumes and YUMMY treats!

And since Halloween falls on a Wednesday, why not throw a little study break soiree?! (or maybe just a soiree- studying is so overrated)

so get on your slutty nurse/baseball player/ninja turtle costume and get into the kitchen!

Gummy Worm Ice Cubes (from Martha Stewart).

Sure this idea was made more kids but who says we can’t spruce up our vodka tonics with these creepy cubes?

What you Need:

Gummy Worms

Ice Cube Tray

Water

(and a selection of alcohol (or non alcoholic) beverages and mixers.

Directions:

Breed gummy worms in ice and infest a cold Halloween drink. Put the worms in an ice-cube tray, letting them stick out of the top and sprawl over the edges, and fill tray with water; freeze. Add cubes to a clear beverage, and watch as kids squirm with delight. Read More »