Celebrity trainer Jillian Michaels tells TMZ, “Don’t do the Master Cleanse. It’s bad for you.” But so is consuming alcohol and too much cheese, right? We all have our vices. While I may never be disciplined enough for the Master Cleanse (what, I like food!), many celebrities have shed a lot of weight doing the program for 10-14 days. Check out Jillian’s full interview here with plenty of healthier summer weight loss alternatives!

In other news:

The new James Bond trailer is out– Watch it here!

Billboard Music Awards Whitney Houston Tribute and all other performances

Kristen Wiig’s ‘Saturday Night Live’ goodbye was a total tear jerker

Want to wear a jean jacket without looking dated?

‘Game of Thrones’ Recap: Little brothers and sisters in harms way

‘The Dictator’ tanks at the box office this weekend

Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie have a romantic date at the museum

If you look like Mila Kunis, you can pretty much expect to be stalked

Mark Zuckerberg gets married to long-term girlfriend in a back yard

]]> http://collegecandy.com/2012/05/21/the-master-cleanse-is-bad-for-you-shocking-candy-dish/feed/ 0 ccandystaff Jillian Michaels http://collegecandy.com/2010/02/24/you-dont-have-to-be-anorexic-to-have-an-eating-disorder/ http://collegecandy.com/2010/02/24/you-dont-have-to-be-anorexic-to-have-an-eating-disorder/#comments Wed, 24 Feb 2010 19:00:25 +0000 Liza - Grove City College http://www.collegecandy.com/body/16342 ]]> So maybe you’ve never gone more than 24 hours without food. Maybe you’ve never taken a laxative or made yourself throw up after eating too much. You don’t have an Eating Disorder. But how much of your day is spent thinking about food?

When you are out with friends, are you comparing what everyone else is eating to what you are eating, figuring out the calories instead of enjoying their company? Have you ever doubled your workouts to compensate for splurging on a slice of pizza? Can you barely even remember a time when you weren’t trying out the latest diet?

You don’t have to have an eating disorder to have an unhealthy relationship with food. It’s called Disordered Eating and it can be emotionally draining, physically exhausting or even lead to a full blown Eating Disorder.

Disordered Eating starts with a mentality rather than a behavior. If you are lucky to eat one real meal a day during finals week because you are so crazed trying to cram everything in, it’s not good for you, but it’s not a symptom of Disordered Eating. If you only eat one meal a day during finals week so you can at least be in control of your diet since everything else is so hectic, that’s Disordered Eating. It can present itself in many ways, but here are a few of the most common.

Diet Hopping: If you went from Slimfast to Atkins to South Beach to Master Cleanse, this can be a problem. If you don’t even know what to eat unless you are following some set out regimented diet plan, and are constantly changing to find better results, you might want to evaluate your motivations.

Exercise Binging: Do you count calories as they go in AND as they go out? Those very clever machines at the gym that tell you how many calories you are burning are useful, but if you obsessively exercise to burn off all the calories you consumed that day, that’s dangerous. It can ultimately lead to Exercise Bulimia which involves using intense workouts to purge instead of vomiting or laxatives.

Hidden Eating: Do you order a salad with your friends, but grab the bag of Oreos once you are back to your room? Have you ever lied to someone about what you ate that day? If you feel ashamed of eating in front of people there’s definitely something wrong with the way you see food.

Eating should be a natural part of your life. Food should not feel like your enemy and should not be constantly on your mind.

If you have exhibited these behaviors you are not alone. Not too long ago, SELF Magazine conducted a survey that found 65% of those polled displayed some type of Disordered Eating. The most important thing to remember is that to truly be in control of your eating habits, you can’t let them control YOU. Being aware of the problem is the first step to freeing yourself from being constantly consumed with thoughts of food.

Don’t be afraid to get help; being open about it is the best way to make sure it doesn’t get worse. Talk to friends, or find a support group. START a support group if you can’t find one. Chances are a lot of your friends are in the same situation.

Stop the problem before it gets worse. This really can develop into a life or death situation.

Before you dismiss this as just another article about the master cleanse, please read on!

Studies have proven that liquid cleanses, like the juice cleanse, the infamous master cleanse, and even the water with lemon cleanse, are more harmful to the body than beneficial. Probably because girls tend to do them for weeks, even months at a time, to lose weight.

We forget that the purpose of a cleanse is to help rid the body of toxins from processed foods and from our environment, not to become anorexic for a week.

Every day our body is exposed to chemicals from car exhaust, pollution, and the very lotion we apply to our skin. We breathe in harmful particles floating in the air. We eat fruit that has been soaked in pesticides and meat that has been injected with antibiotics.

Our incredible bodies constantly filter out all of these toxins on an a daily basis — it is a self-healing, self-renewing and self-cleansing organism. However, all of this can be too much and we find ourselves feeling sluggish and unhealthy. This indicates that your body needs some help. A holistic detox is the best method.

Here’s how:

1. Purchase an internal cleansing system.
I am currently finishing up the Whole Body Cleanse (2 week cleanse) made by Enzymatic Therapy and love it. The box includes 3 bottles of supplements: Super Milk Thistle  – stimulates toxin-clearing bile flow, Fiber Fusion – daily cleansing fiber binds to toxins so they don’t get reabsorbed into your bloodstream, and The Laxative Formula – gently purges the intestines of built up toxins, makes sure the toxins are carried out of your body for thorough detoxification. I have experienced zero abdominal discomfort from this and it definitely hasn’t made me feel like I have to run to the bathroom every five minutes.

2. Change your diet.
In conjunction with the internal cleansing system, you need to make your diet super healthy.
- Avoid all refined carbs including white flour and sugar.
- Avoid all foods with chemical preservatives and flavorings including foods that contain toxic elements.
- Drink at least one to two liters of pure water daily.
- Eat ripe fruits and vegetables that are free of chemical fertilizers.
- Minimize coffee, tea, dairy products, and … alcohol (I know, this is a toughie).
- Eat protein like white fish and chicken.

3. Sweat and sleep.
Do some moderate exercise so that you can sweat out the toxins as well. If you don’t feel up for this and have access to a sauna at your gym, use it. Also, sleep is so so important. I think many of us forget that we need more bed-time than we actually give ourselves. Getting 8 hours of shut-eye will determine your appetite, energy and mood.

Within 2 weeks of practicing theses lifestyle changes, you should notice a significant improvement in not only how you feel, but how you see your body. It’s given me a new appreciation for the incredible support it gives me on a daily basis. Show your bod some love too!!

Despite the fact that I know as much about nutrition as say, someone on Celebrity Fit Club, I actually wasn’t surprised to see this article in the NY Times about those miracle “flushes” and “cleanses.” Basically, lots of doctors says they’re bullsh*t.

According to the article, many western docs think that detox diets are not only not good for you, they could also potentially be harmful. One doctor in the article was quoted as stating “What ends up being consumed during a ‘detox’ are essentially stimulants, laxatives and diuretics.” Ew.

Okay, let me back up a second for those of you who may be as nutritionally clueless as I am. Most “cleanses” are like extreme diets that you undergo for a couple days or weeks. Basically, you avoid certain foods and replace them with nutritional and herbal supplements. In turn, your body that was once full of evil toxins is supposed to rejoice (after you feel like absolute sh*t for a few days) as you remove what the article calls “sludge” from your “constipated” body.

Take, for example, the arguably most famous detox program, The Master Cleanse. What you do is replace all solid food with a little mixture of lemon juice, cayenne pepper, maple syrup and water for a minimum of 10 days (but some people do this for up to 45 days. What the f*ck?!). Other detox diets reduce meat and/or solid food intake. Even crazier still: some diets advocate the use of enemas, colonics and herbal laxatives to rid the intestinal track of toxins.

Yes, seriously.

But what the article is getting it as is that even though some detox diets are good in theory and provide you with some vitamins and minerals, all you’re really doing is starving yourself. Or sticking something up your ass. Not fun.

And what’s even scarier is that, according to one doctor in the article, there is absolutely no solid evidence that detoxification programs actually work.

My take is this: I believe in everything in moderation. If you want to “cleanse” yourself of the “evil toxins” in the food we eat, go for it. But I think staying away from high fructose corn syrup, foods high in trans fat and sugar, and maybe cutting back a bit on the booze should do.

As for me, the only detox diet I plan to try this year is one that consists of pizza, beer and chicken wings. And maybe some celery sticks for good measure…and because they go so well with that ranch sauce I’ll be dipping my buffalo wings in. Yum.

I tried to talk myself in to sticking it out. I really did. I kept telling myself all the little motivators I mentioned in my last update. I told myself that if all sorts of other people could do it, I damn well could. I told myself that not only were all my friends and family aware I was doing it, but I was broadcasting it on the internet – to quit would mean failure, and everyone would know.

But then I went to the gym. And I’m totally one of those sick people who genuinely enjoys the gym. I love to sweat, use my muscles, feel all strong and healthy and accomplished. And when I found myself sprawled out on the workout mats, head all fuzzy and discombobulated, too tired and pissed off to do a crunch or run on the treadmill, I thought, this is totally moronic. I’m miserable. I don’t care if I’m so loaded with fucking toxins that I mutate in to the Incredible Hulk, this Master Cleanse sh*t has got to stop.

So, I gathered up my stuff, walked out of the gym, walked to the closest cafe, bought a parfait, and f*%king chowed down. And it was AWESOME. Immediately, everything turned around. I was cheerful, happy, energetic, ready to run on the treadmill and hang out with my boyfriend and paint my room and do all the things that seemed utterly insurmountable while I was living off of f*%king syrup and lemon juice.

Believe me, I know it seems absurd that realizing eating is good was a revelation for me. But in theory the Master Cleanse sounded like such a great idea. Clean out your system! Rid yourself of all your ailments! Reset your body! And honestly, I talked to a number of people who did it and gave it rave reviews. But now I know that these people a) are superheroes, or b) have something profoundly wrong with them. Honestly.

Maybe if I had stuck it out for, like, one more day I would have reached the point where I could have ridden it out, but damn. Every day, it just got worse; I only got more pissed off and had less of a will to get out of bed. It wasn’t even like I was craving food, because I wasn’t, really. I was just exhausted and my brain was all messed up. I was obsessed with the Cleanse; it was all I could think about. Attempts at higher-level thinking, like decision-making or, say, processing something I had just read were damn near impossible. It was like I hadn’t slept in days, when really, sleeping was almost all I was doing.

I will say, though, that I’m glad I tried it. It’s something I needed to experience first hand, and if I had never done it, I would still believe all those people saying it’s glorious. Plus, even though I didn’t do it for the full duration, I still did get some of the benefits. Like, I haven’t wanted an energy drink at all, which just proves that my addiction to them is all in my head. And by not eating for a few days I’ve realized that a lot of times when I eat I’m not even hungry; it’s just force of habit. And I’ve learned that, if need be, I can toss back a quart of salt water, which I’m sure will make me some money somewhere down the line. (“No. No WAY you can chug that. I’ll give you ten bucks if you do.”)

Final conclusions about the Master Cleanse? Here’s what I’ve determined. Sure, it cleans out your body, to some degree, because you’re not putting anything in it. I don’t know about flushing out years worth of built up toxins or whatever, but your colon and intestines are probably squeaky clean. However, a similar effect could be achieved by drinking a fiber shake every morning, if you’re that concerned about it. And as someone mentioned in the comments on my first post about the Cleanse, you do have a new appreciation for food when you’re done because you haven’t had any in TEN DAYS.

And all those euphoric feelings and high energy levels that people reported having while on the Cleanse are probably result of being half-starved and running solely on maple syrup. Thinking about it now, I really can’t believe that consuming only that mixture seemed like a good idea. I get carried away sometimes.

So I guess that’s it. Like I said, I’m glad I did it, I learned some things, but the bottom line is, I need food. Period.

And Stanley Burroughs is a f*%king nutjob.

[That delectable photo is courtesy of cookingdonelight.com]

My day started off OK. I woke up in good spirits feeling ready to take on another day without food when I remembered that it was time for my massive morning dosage of salt water. The night before, I had premixed my oral enema and left it next to my bed in the hopes that I would then drink it immediately when I awoke and I would be so out of it that I wouldn’t fully realize what I was doing. And it worked. At least, a third of the way through it, it worked.

After that I was left to choke down the rest, and though it proved to be more effective than yesterday, I came to the conclusion that a belly full of salt water is no way to kick things off. Tomorrow I’ll be entrusting my a.m. colon purge to Chocolate Smooth Moves; because I’m already struggling to find reasons to wake up in the morning without that staring me in the face.

So, after that I got dressed and left my house for a day of work in Brooklyn, armed with 5 servings worth of the lemonade. I got to the studio where I work and took a seat, pounded a lemonade, and started on my usual tasks. Then someone dropped something and I nearly fell out of my chair reaching for it. Then it happened again. Then I spent about five minutes staring at the materials before me, trying to remember what exactly I was supposed to be doing. Then I stood up to walk to the bathroom and was struck by how limp I felt. By 2 p.m. I had finished all of my lemonade and I knew there was no way I’d make it back to my apartment if I stayed until the end of the day, so I ducked out early in an attempt to avoid going into hypoglycemic shock on the train.

By the time I got home, I was starving and very, very irritable. I drank two glasses of lemonade mixed with some digestive supplements I picked up from Whole Foods on the way home (which, I learned from some research online, are a highly recommended addition to the Cleanse) and sat on the couch, trying to rally my energy to make it to the gym.

Eventually I forced myself into my gym clothes and out the door. On the walk to the gym I considered calling people back who had called me during the day, but I realized that I had no desire to make friendly chit chat with anyone. I got to the gym and managed to churn out my entire usual workout, and felt surprisingly chipper when I was done. Endorphins are amazing.

I walked into my apartment to find my roommate and his girlfriend eating homemade burritos and drinking beer. He looked up guiltily and apologized for the food being everywhere, to which I replied, “Dude, don’t worry about it. Just because I’m not eating doesn’t mean no one else can. It’s my choice.”

Which, I guess is the whole point, and the most irritating part of this little endeavor. I could quit, literally, any time. I could have dug into the rice and black beans and veggies on the stove and it would have been over, plain and simple. And I wouldn’t die, and the world wouldn’t end, I would have just given up on a rather unscientific diet developed by a borderline crack-pot with mediocre-at-best writing skills. But for some reason, I keep trying to convince myself to persevere.

Just wait until the first few days are over, then see. Just wait until you run out of syrup and then you can think about stopping. Just aim for a week; sevens days are certainly better than nothing. Even though the Master Cleanse is interfering with my social life and my work and my immediate happiness, I keep holding on, though I can’t pinpoint why. Is it the genuine desire to rid my body of the toxins Stanley Burroughs tells me are lurking in it? Is it the sense of competition – that if others can do it I certainly can? Is it to experience how my body feels after fasting 10 days? Is it to renew my sense of taste and my body’s response to food?

I suppose it’s a mish-mash of all of the above. I just wonder if it’s enough to keep me going until next Friday.

Immediately after guzzling the truly foul concoction, I supposedly had an hour in which I would be pooping my brains out. As I had developed a stomach ache and was kind of hating life, I opted to spend this hour taking a nap, during which I had a dream that I was eating a Subway Veggie Sub, only to realize halfway through that I was supposed to be Master Cleansing and got really pissed at myself. I woke up starving and made myself a lemonade, then promptly fell back asleep. I woke up at 12:15 in the afternoon without having pooped at all, nor having any need to.

Well, at least I drank all that salt water.

The rest of my day was pretty much spent drinking the lemonade and napping or lounging about because I was totally exhausted. The only time I left the house was to go to the gym where I did my normal workout, but took half an hour longer than usual to do it because of all the breathers I had to take. Later I attempted to leave the house to go to a viewing of a film my roommate had worked on, but felt so beat I decided it was a pointless endeavor and watched a while lot of Comedy Central instead.

Throughout the day, my feelings about the Master Cleanse fluctuated wildly. One moment I was thinking that it was insane and there was no way it could possibly be good for me, then I’d remember all the rave reviews I had heard about it from others, then I’d think that food is awesome and not eating is not and I was totally over it, then I’d tell myself to take it one step at a time and I was feeling fine at the moment, wasn’t I? And really, when I thought about it, that was the truth; while I was tired and had moments of extreme hunger (namely while on the treadmill), and wasn’t exactly Miss Social Suzy Sunshine, I didn’t feel all that bad. I was surviving just fine.

Burroughs and the people I talked to who actually did it all report that the first few days of the Cleanse are the worst. Burroughs attributes this to all the toxins being loosened and floating around your body, where as I’m more inclined to think that it’s because you’re used to eating food and when you’re Master Cleansing you’re, uh, not doing that. But I DO have a sore throat…perhaps triggered by evil body-harming toxins that were previously lying dormant in my lymph nodes? Or merely a result of drinking copious amounts of lemon juice and cayenne pepper? Tough call.

For now, I’ve made a deal with myself that I have to tough out at least the first four days, and then see how I’m feeling. Baby steps, yo.

I just hope I poop soon.

Let’s see…]

DAY ONE

9:15 a.m.: Walking to the gym in sweatpants, a dirty wifebeater, no makeup. Get catcalled by at least fifteen people. Oh, ethnic neighborhood, you’re so charming.

12:03 p.m.: Walking home from the gym in the same gear as before, only now drenched in sweat, get catcalled by about fifteen more people. I finally tell one of them to f*ck off. It feels good. His response? “Someone needs to get laid!” I hate dudes.

11:23 p.m.: At my place of business which is, in fact, a strip club, where I am, in fact, a stripper. A scruffy but jovial old man solicits me for a trip to the VIP room, which I gladly agree to (Guaranteed $160 for a half hour? Hell yes!), but first warn him that I’m not one of those girls that do “special favors” in said room. He says that’s fine and wanders off to get more cash from the ATM.

11:43 p.m.: After about ten minutes, the old man pulls out his dick and asks me to give him a blowjob. I tell him no way in hell; I already said that’s not how I do. He tells me it’s fine, because he has a condom. I tell him he can get the f*ck out.

11:50 p.m.: After five minutes of arguing and an extra fifty bucks for being an asshole, we finish the dance and the guy behaves himself. Before we exit the room he kisses me on the cheek and tells me I’m a lovely girl.

11:04 a.m.: While on the treadmill at the gym, a guy who’s always there at the same time as me stops and hands me a cute little bouquet of flowers and tells me to have a good day. The gesture is adorable, but the dude doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell.

3:15 p.m.: My former boss (Greek, gay) sends me a text message asking me if, as per previous discussions, I’ll still marry him so he can get U.S. citizenship. I say sure. I know a lot of people who have done this and ended up falling in love with each other, but he’s gay so…f*ck it, right? He says he’ll call me later in the week.

11:35 p.m.: At a private table at a sh*tty club with my roommate and her friend, being fed Grey Goose by a promoter. Some douchnugget sits next to me and asks me if I’m a model, I inform him that I’m actually a stripper. His eyes light up and he proceeds launch off on a compare and contrast session between my job and being an investment banker, which is what he does. I stare at him for a while and then decide I’m too drunk for this and announce I’m leaving. He asks if I’ll be at the club next weekend. I say no.

DAY THREE

9:04 a.m.: Wake up to a text message from a number I don’t recognize asking me if I’m going to be working tonight. I respond yes; they say they’ll see me there. I decide I really have to stop giving out my number to people at work when they ask for it.

1:13 p.m.: Spend an hour facebook stalking ex-boyfriends/lovers/crushes. Feel very nostalgic.

2:21 p.m.: Make a craigslist personals ad.

10:45 p.m.: Work. No one makes any mention of texting me, but a dude does get a VIP room with me. He instructs me to stand/sit in various positions while he gives me a massage and we talk about his kid’s soccer team for half an hour. At the end, he gives me a forty-dollar tip. People are so weird.

DAY FOUR

3:26 a.m.: Last client of the night is a quiet Asian kid who gets a VIP room with me. He asks if he can kiss me. I say not on the lips. He spends the half hour laying on top of me periodically trying to kiss me on the lips, though I continue to flirtly but firmly (as is the stripper way) push him away. As we leave the room, he apologizes and slips me a fifty.

4:34 a.m.: Check my e-mail, eight people have responded to my ad. They run the gamut from mundane (5’5” Jewish film student) to hilariously unacceptable (Norwegian bodybuilder wearing a Speedo in his photo). Seriously, dudes are f*cking nuts.

11:43 a.m.: Wake up and check my e-mail again, have received a message from an acceptable (by comparison, at least) black jazz musician. I write to him and think about how hilarious it would be to bring my black musician boyfriend with me to my tiny backwoods hometown. I decide I’m getting ahead of myself.

9:01 p.m.: Watch many many episodes of The Office. Masturbate a little. Jim is so hot.

DAY FIVE

11:35 a.m.: Spend the day at an artist’s studio I volunteer at, end up talking to a girl there about doing the Master Cleanse. According to her, in addition to making you feel amazing and allowing you to think clearer than you ever have before, in the weeks following your sex drive is totally off the charts. I decide it’s on.

6:32 p.m.: While at Barnes and Noble looking for the Master Cleanse book, a dude that looks kind of like a younger version of PC from the Mac commercials tells me I’m really cute and asks me for my e-mail address. I give it to him, though I’m hard pressed to say why.

7:55 p.m.: The musician has written me back and there are multiple Jesus references strewn about the e-mail. He will not be visiting my hometown with me.

11:27 p.m.: After exiting a cab, a guy stopped at a stoplight yells, “Hey, mami!” I ignore him, but then a girl in the car says, “Excuse me, miss?” Curious, I look at them. Three Hispanic kids, probably my age, boy driving, girl in the passenger seat, another boy in back. The girl says, “Wanna hang with us?” I decline because I am on my way to meet some friends at the bar, and also because I cannot possibly comprehend why I would take them up on this offer. The light turns green and they drive away, but I am intrigued by the exchange. Where could that situation have possibly gone?

DAY SIX

9:03 a.m.: More craigslist responses. They’re all horrible. Of course they are! Who the fuck looks for love on craigslist?! Social mutants, that’s who!

9:10 p.m.: At work, I’m sitting alone drinking a gin and tonic when a boy sidles up to me. He’s Argentinean and kind of cute. We chat, he gives me the usual speech about how a nice all-American girl like myself doesn’t belong in a place like this, and then he asks me for a lap dance. I dance for five songs, and the whole time he asks me if I like it, if it turns me on. I laugh and say, no, it’s kind of like filing or data-entry as far as I’m concerned. When we’re done I ask for the $100 he owes me and he tries to haggle with me. I finally say I’ll take $80 just because I don’t feel like fighting. He pays me, then asks me for my number. Seriously.

DAY SEVEN

3:12 a.m.: I decide I need to make more money, so I sit down next to a younger-looking guy sitting by himself. We start chatting, and it turns out he’s around my age, Irish, a bartender, and kind of fly. We drink beers until last call, and he looks at me and asks me what next. I say we should have some beers at his apartment, which is in the neighborhood. He tells me to go change and he’ll meet me outside.

4:15 a.m.: We’re walking to his apartment and I wonder what the hell has gotten in to me. Sure, this guy is cute enough and good company, but definitely not anyone I would expect myself to go home with, and yet, here I am. I force my second thoughts to the back of my head.

4:40 a.m.: We crack some Coronas, get halfway though them, and then proceed to have sex. Amazing sex. Hours and hours of amazing sex in positions I’ve never even considered before, and it is definitely not my first time at the rodeo. My mind is blown.

11:03 a.m.: Wake up, have more sex. Even though I’m now sober, it is still mind-blowing. We finish up and I say I should bounce, he tells me to write down my number. He lets me out of his building and I start walking, thinking the world has never looked so beautiful.

11:43 a.m.: I arrive home and announce to my roommate that I’m in love. She asks what his name is. I realize I have no idea.

12:00p.m.: Spend the rest of the day in a fantastic mood literally prancing around my apartment. God I love sex.

Total: Many lap dances, one possible foursome opportunity, one masturbation session, one surprise old man penis, multiple rounds of out-of-this-world sex with one nameless Irishman.

That or her 20 days on the Master Cleanse must have been done strategically between visits from the red eyed monster, because how she could have fasted on water, lemon juice, maple syrup and cayenne pepper during the days of bloat and cravings makes – well, it just seems impossible.

Welcome to my Diet Diary. Or ‘Dietribes’, if you will. Each month, I will test out a diet and you can read all about the self-torture in inflict upon my body with all of the deprivation.

In truth, I generally try to be a very healthy eater and I’m concerned about the foods that go into my body, so the diets I will outline won’t be one of those slim fast or cookie diet jobs.

I am not doing the aforementioned crazy fast, but I bring it up because detoxing seems to be on everyone’s mind and various levels of detoxing are outlined in The New Detox Diet, by Elson M. Haas M.D (on the cover of the book, he’s also called The Detox Doc).

I will not be fasting at all and I suggest that you not fast either, because not only is it dangerous (I don’t care what the Detox Doc says about it – I like not passing out and such), any weight that you lose on it will come back on the instant you start eating solid foods again. What I have chosen to follow is the actual Detox Diet outlined in Haas’s book.

For the next two weeks, upon rising, I will drink two large glasses of water with the juice from half of a lemon squeezed in. Breakfast will consist of slow cooked oats and will be followed 15 – 20 minutes later with a piece of fruit.

Lunch and dinner will be soporifically similar: one or two medium bowls of steamed vegetables (I’m certain that it will be two) with a little bit (and then a little bit more) of olive oil. If I’m feeling weak, which I’m sure that I will, I can add four ounces of ‘good’ protein, like legumes, organic chicken, turkey or fish.

No eating after six p.m.; only water and herbal teas are allowed and I’m crying inside because I love coffee and diet Pepsi more than I like food.

Though the meals sound like my goal is to lose weight, this is not the reason why I’ve chosen to detox. While it is one of the benefits/side effects of it, I’m doing it because I feel awful. I eat a lot of sugar. I subsist on caffeine. I don’t even want to get out of bed in the morning, even if I sleep for nine hours.

Dr. Haas says that “we detoxify/cleanse for health, vitality and rejuvenation – to clear symptoms, treat disease and prevent future problems.” Enter the main reason why I’m doing this: in the last couple of years, I’ve developed allergies to many foods. The Doc treats this like a spiritual journey; I’m not riding the spiritual cleansing train, but I am certain that my allergy tests didn’t fully uncover all of the foods that my body is rejecting, thus contributing to my daily lethargy and stomach issues.

The Detox Diet, much like all of the plans outlined in the book, is not one that you can jump into straight from your regular diet of whatever you eat. Because it eliminates the seven most common allergens, it takes time and would be too shocking to your system to suddenly go without wheat, dairy, sugar, corn, soy, eggs and peanuts. I’ve been eliminating and I’m ready to start.

So, want to know what happens?

Come back and I’ll reveal to you how crazy I do or don’t get without my coffee and diet Pepsi and further outline the diet and the steps that should be taken post-detox to ensure a smooth transition.

What is your progress on getting that Jessica Biel body over summer vacation? Gotten a little sidetracked by the margaritas and half price happy hours? No worries, you still have over a month to get your ass in gear.

One thing that can sidetrack you from obtaining that great body for good is a fad diet or one that makes ridiculous claims and leaves you eating more than you could have ever imagined. Most college gals are guilty of buying into a quick solution to weight loss at some point in time, at least I know that I am. I actually considered the Master Cleanse Diet a few months ago. Honestly, what was I thinking?

Anyways, in hopes of saving you time and energy, I present Diet-blog.com‘s 7 signs of a Dubious Diet:

1. Promises quick weight loss

“Almost all of them do – this is unrealistic at best and dangerous at worse.”

2. Advocates centering the diet on one particular food

“Eg. grapefruit, peanut butter, coconut diets. Whether or not you eat these foods has no bearing on your weight and health.”

3. Doesn’t insist on exercise

“Surprising how many of them don’t – this is the cornerstone of continued fat loss and maintenance of weight, period. Beware of even those that undermine the importance of exercise.”

4. Offers a simplistic explanation to the complex problem of obesity

“Again, many “gurus” try and convince us that we are fat for a singular reason – this gives them an “angle” at which to sell us with. Whether it is carbs, an absence or abundance of a certain hormone, toxins – obesity is multifaceted.”

5. Claims “proof” without properly conducted, peer reviewed research

“Too many to list here, too. Fad diet authors more than likely skip over that little detail of evidence.”

6. Lists “forbidden” foods

“I’m not completely opposed to this, provided there in some sort of scientifically-based rationale ie. Trans fat-containing foods.”

7. Discourages eating certain foods in combination

“Eg. Fit for Life – this concept is about as scientific as a horoscope. The rationale is so absurd it should make anybody who has taken grade 11 biology cringe.”

I know it seems cliche and repetitive, but seriously, nothing works quite like the good old-fashioned eating less and exercising more. Time and again research has proven this is the best way to getting *and staying* in shape. So, make sure to avoid those pesky diets that are not worth your while in the first place