It’s that time of year where we all take stock of our lives, realize we’re hot messes and resolve to change our behavior…for about two weeks. Because while eating healthier, working out more and generally being a more mature person are worthy aspirations that we should all work towards, we would be remiss if we failed to acknowledge that our sex lives could always use a little work. Whether you’re having sex daily, every six months or not at all, with a long-term partner, a FWB, or a one night stand, there is always room to grow and have better experiences.  I mean, if the apocalypse or whatever really is next December, I need to go out knowing that I had the sexiest year to date, so next year, I want to do the following…

1. Stop feeling guilty about my preferences.
Sometimes I’m not in the mood. Sometimes I don’t want to be on top. Sometimes I just want to lay there and enjoy it. Sometimes I want Rihanna playing in the background. It’s totally okay for me to be selfish sometimes, because while, yes, pleasing my partner is important, so is taking my own pleasure into account. This is definitely a balancing act I don’t have down yet. Read More »

The politics surrounding sex toys are quite curious. I’m occasionally struck by the idea that sex toy is a bit of a misnomer. Most of the time when we think about sex toys, it’s in the context of masturbation, not intercourse, is it not? But what happens when sex toys transcend the gap between self-pleasure and mutual satisfaction? Not for the sexually timid, I would suggest — but it is quite tempting to contemplate adding one good thing (sex toys) to another good thing (sex). Why is introducing sex toys into your sex life a step that many find daunting to consider? No, I’ll admit I’ve not tried it, but under the right circumstances, I’d not be averse to it either. In fact, researching this column has made me decidedly curious…

But first, let’s consider sex toys and their use in general. Although female masturbation is still an arguably controversial topic, simultaneously it’s relatively normal (even expected) that a young (single) woman should own a vibrator. It’s sexy, it’s a bit naughty, it’s liberating. Women will talk about vibrators with their friends with nary a blush to be seen. Gals all over the world will get themselves off with the help of their dear Lelo Lily. Read More »

Every once in awhile, I’ll hear dudes lament how handjobs became obsolete past high school. It’s true enough, I suppose. At some point, oral and intercourse replaced the handy. In theory, I totally understand why some dudes miss the HJ – I still enjoy a good fingerbang probably more often than is “normal” for someone over the age of 17. But I refuse to do my part to bring handjobs back. Occasionally, my boyfriend asks for one, and I’ll oblige, very reluctantly. But honestly, they suck. And here’s why…

They’re hard work.
Blow jobs have the reputation for being arduous, but either my hands/wrists are weak, or my mouth is unusually strong. Seriously, within minutes of commencing a HJ, my hand starts cramping, my wrist gets sore and I’m not mentally engaged enough to want to continue. I can’t help but look around the room, think of my grocery list and wonder if Ryan Gosling asks his ladies to endure such torture. Read More »

To forewarn you, I am by no means a sex toy sexpert. But even with my unprofessional eyes I can identify when something is just not right. I know everyone has different tastes and preferences and I’m not here to judge, (unless you’re wearing sweats in public…haha just kidding…not really…too soon?), but below are ten extremely questionable sex toys that violated my eyes– so I can’t imagine what they’d do you to your hooha. Read More »

How to make self-loving even better

I’m sorry…did you say Yogasm?!

This would never happen with our interns

Could Ryan Gosling get any sexier?

Flynn Bloom is totally going to be the cutest Hollywood tot

90s Teen movies we will never tire of

We’re lusting over the 60s fashion on ‘Pan Am’

Movies that won’t eff you up

Find a Bottega Veneta Woven clutch for less

I’m pretty open-minded when it comes to sex. I like getting spanked. I’ve had anal. I love giving blowjobs. I’m into exhibitionism. I’ve done mild knife play and I’ve had my wrists restrained…but I hate masturbating. And I’ve tried. I’m actually pro-masturbation, in theory. I love the idea of getting to know your own body intimately, of taking your sexual pleasure in your own hands (literally). I love the idea of not having to rely on anyone else to get yourself off.

I remember the very first time I masturbated. I was 15. I had the house to myself, and Britney’s In The Zone album had been out for a few months. She had a song dedicated to masturbation, and I thought it was so awesome and sexy, and I felt so empowered, and I made my first time an event. I was freshly showered. I laid in bed, put “Touch Of My Hand” on repeat. I took deep breaths, relaxed myself and started exploring. At first, I was excited about the foreign nature of what I was doing. I low-key hated my vagina for 4-5 days a month, and the rest of the time, I ignored it. Read More »

Not all things were meant for the deep fryer

Football season just got a lot more interesting

The youngest celebrity moms

Some interesting findings from the masturbation study

Is this the next It royal?

Model trends you can pull off

We can’t wait for Lauren Conrad’s Fall collection from Kohl’s

Robert Pattinson wants to design clothes?!

Taylor Swift has an upskirt moment

So it seems CollegeCandy’s Dude is the most popular guy, like, ever. You ladies just can’t get enough. You’d think he was Bradley Cooper! (Maybe he is….that’s one secret we’ll never tell.) Luckily, this guy’s a giver (even more reason to love him) and he’s gonna bring you even more of his wisdom. Only instead of answering specific questions, he’s telling us what we all want to know and never had the balls to ask. Don’t worry, he’ll still be back every Wednesday for Ask a Dude!

Bring on the hate mail! This time the Dude’s List is bringing you 11 reasons boys like being boys instead of girls. I’m not suggesting all of the advantages discussed below are ethical or moral. I’m talking about the real-world practices and double standards. Fairness isn’t part of the debate. In an ideal world, would there be advantages for one over the other (probably)? Would they be this subjective and this environmentally influenced (probably)? Would they be the same ones?

Hopefully, not all…

1.    PMS, FTW
We appreciate getting cramps for reasons other than our body deciding to completely overhaul our entire beings like Amy Adams’ on Smallville. Honestly, if you had the choice, would you like to bleed uncontrollably for 7 days every month?

2.    Menopause?
The endgame of numero uno on the list. We don’t need to go through anything more physical for our midlife crises than pointless piercings and arrhythmia resulting from over compensatory spending of our joint savings account.

3.    No Labor Pains
Yeah, like this wasn’t your first guess? Read More »

Did you know that in addition to being Asparagus Month and National BBQ Month, May is also National Masturbation Month? Yes, there is an entire month dedicated to doing the act solo (potentially with BBQ sauce and asparagus spears). National Masturbation Month was started by Good Vibrations (a sex store) in 1995 as a way to protest the firing of U.S. Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders, who had suggested that masturbation be part of sex education.

It’s always National Masturbation Month in my world, but to celebrate the actual month, I’m going to go into my room and lock the door, I thought I’d share a few fun facts about spanking the monkey with you.

So let’s get down and dirty: Read More »

[He Said/She Said is a series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he’s really thinking. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…and unlike our fave dude, these guys won’t be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

Benjamin Franklin once said (I know, I can’t believe I’m quoting Benjamin Franklin either) “Nothing is certain but death and taxes.” B. Frank was a smart man and he made a good point, but I’d like to add one more certainty to that list: confusion from the male gender.

It’s no secret that guys confuse us. If they didn’t, we wouldn’t need The Dude to explain them to us, or the entire relationship self-help aisle at Barnes and Noble. We wouldn’t spend hours trying to decipher what they meant in that last text message or find a way to ask every single person we knew why he’d ask to walk us home and then never call again. We’d all be blissfully happy and problem-free with our long-term boyfriends who are open, honest and straightforward.

But, alas, as great as some guys may be, they are still incredibly mysterious creatures that continually find new ways to confuse the the sh*t out of us. (Well, not literally. I’m not even sure that’s possible.) And while every day brings more confusion, there are 7 main things about guys I’ll never understand. Read More »