Celebrate National Sandwich Day With Some Man-Meat

Sandwich

“Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.” –  Liz Lemon, 30 Rock

And that is exactly what I plan to do on this day, National Sandwich Day. Sit in peace and eat my go-to sandwich: the T.B.M sandwich from Cosi. With only a mere three ingredients, this sandwich somehow speaks to my soul and brightens even the darkest of days (no thanks to you, Daylight Savings Time.) If this sandwich was a man, I’d be rolling around in bed with it right now. Hell, maybe I’ll do it anyway.

My love of sandwiches and my love of men run almost parallel to each other on the mathematical graph of my life, intersecting only at the moment someone lets me eat a sandwich and have sex at the same time. That’s the stuff dreams are made of. And until that time comes, I’ve thought up a few sandwich ideas that bring my two weaknesses together. Read More »

Hot Male Celebs (Who Are Also Smart!)

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Hot Guy = Good…when he keeps his mouth closed.
Smart Guy = Good…after you rid him of those light wash/reverse fit jeans.

But a hot, smart guy? Who also happens to be a gifted actor?
Uh, marry me?

We all love ogling hot celebs, but ogling hot AND smart celebs is even better! Believe it or not, many Hollywood stars have both the looks and the brains, whether they attended an Ivy League college or are involved in worldwide social activism.

Here are 10 male celebrities who have the whooooole package. A package I’d like to take home to mama: Read More »

CollegeCandy’s Favorite Bromances

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Spring has sprung and bromance is in the air.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but is there anything hotter than two men who are such good friends they are often confused as lovers? I think not. Maybe it’s because they exhibit the exact characteristics I look for in my own relationships with men. Think about it, guys in bromances are sweet and understanding, they crave intimacy and inside jokes, they use nicknames and share common interests, and they aren’t afraid of affection (even with other men). It’s the perfect relationship – and no need to search for the
right diamond engagement rings or plan a wedding!

Of course I would never get in the way of a bromance. It’s just not my style. But I would have no problem, say, nestling into a bromance sandwich. Why break up the friendship when we can make it a threesome (or in some cases, a bromance orgy starring me)? Unfortunately it may be some time before I end up in the same room as the Apatow hotties, so for now I’ll just have to settle for the hottest bromance gallery of all time. Click on each image to get a full size shot and enjoy! Read More »

Tree-Hugging Hotties

There’s something about Earth Day that gets to my libido every time. It could just be the spring weather after a long lonely winter, but come Earth Day, I am a woman in heat. The sun is shining, the flowers are in bloom, men are everywhere taking off their shirts to do a little yard work.

I’m not really one discriminate, but there’s something so sexy about a man who takes care of the environment. Just the thought of planting trees together gets me going.  His strong hands covered in dirt, biceps bulging as he lowers the shovel into the ground, his body sweating… Is it hot in here or is it just global warming?

Call me a tree hugger if you want, but I would gladly hug (naked hug?) any of these earth friendly hotties. So reduce, reuse and recycle and then sit back and relax while you admire our Earth Day gift to you. (Click on the image to get see the boys in all their earth-loving splendor.)

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Candy Dish: What a Naughty Teacher

pinupteacher.jpgNote to self: do not send pornographic pictures to students

Wait, Melrose Place is coming back? And Ashlee Simpson is joining the cast?!

Three words: Ryan Gosling hot.

DJ AM is cursed with airplanes.

OPI releases their new spring colors!

Dating tips for Meghan McCain.

Beyonce is shiny.

Matt Damon. In spandex.

Northwestern Dance Marathon raises over $900,000!

How much sex is enough sex?

Forget Forever 21; Francesca’s Collection rocks.

Leighton Meester is the new face of Reebok.

Candy Dish: “The Dark Knight” is upon us

Batman Premiere

“The Dark Knight” is upon us! WHO ELSE IS FREAKING OUT?!

Keeping up with the Kardashians…in jail

Sarah and Jimmy split–the Matt Damon video is just awkward now

It’s not the happy ending most girls grow up dreaming about…

“Hey, um, Papa Hulk…were your girlfriend and I separated at birth?”

I don’t know if Hitch would have prescribed an “open relationship”

The new power jobs are in–”socialite” ain’t one of ‘em, Paris!

Off-topic, but I think Jeff Goldblum is really sexy

Radiohead’s new music video is awesome. ‘Nough said.

18-year-old waitress hooks up with a Rolling Stone–and it’s not even Mick or Keith!

[Photo courtesy of Mollygood.com]

Who’s funnier? Tina Fey or Sarah Silverman

Tina Fey

Tina Fey is far funnier than Sarah Silverman. While I applaud both women, Ms. Fey’s comedy is more polished, snarkier, and smarter. I like Sarah Silverman and was disappointed when Comedy Central stopped playing her show. I think if they’d given it some more time, I might think differently about Ms. Silverman’s abilities.

Don’t get me wrong, I think she’s funny. Trust me, I’m all about crude. If you’re a lover of Cervantes, Rabelais, Boccaccio, etc., you gotta be crude to appreciate those dudes. And that’s just a short, short list of the classics that abound with ribaldry – I’ll spare you the list of contemporaries (and for me, an index of “contemporaries” begin in the nineteenth century).

To be sure, I like that both these comediennes are crude. Again, I think it’s clear that I appreciate and relish vulgar forms of humor, but Ms. Silverman’s whole shtick is simply too unrefined, and that bothers me. Again, I’m not blaming her for being “less” funny than Ms. Fey, as I blame the fact that her show wasn’t allowed to blossom. I hope she’ll find another niche, say HBO, and she’ll have a similar show, and her weirdness and crudity will be put to the test, and for more than just a few seasons. Read More »

We’re F*cking Matt Damon: Affleck’s Downward Spiral Continues

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The votes are in, and it’s clear: Sarah Silverman is, indeed, living out all of our dreams.

For those of you who haven’t checked YouTube or read gossip blogs or engaged in casual conversation, or, I don’t know, LEFT THE ISOLATED LOG CABINS YOU’VE APPARENTLY BEEN LIVING IN for the past several weeks, the story is as follows: Sarah Silverman gifted her boyfriend, Jimmy Kimmel, with a lovely music video entitled “I’m F*&king Matt Damon.”

It’s pretty much what you’d expect, although I think the sexually charged dance-off in the middle took us all by surprise. (Another surprise: brilliant, hot-as-hell Sarah Silverman is dating Jimmy Kimmel. Never has there been such a clear visual demonstration of the term “settling.”) Jimmy, not too shy to ride on his lady’s coattails, responded with “I’m F*&king Ben Affleck,” which may be the crowning achievement of his life to date, if only for the fact that it features a singing Don Cheadle.

Yet, singing Don Cheadle aside, most of you seem to feel that Jimmy has come out on the losing end of this deal. A recent CollegeCandy poll shows that, if given the choice, most of our readers would rather be making out with Matt.

Never have I felt such confidence in our readers. Read More »

Jimmy Kimmel is F&*cking Ben Affleck. Nice.

Usually, I feel like Jimmy Kimmel could be funnier than he is. Sometimes I think it has to do with the fact that he’s dating Sara Silverman, who’s ratio of funny/not funny is about 40/60, other times, I just think it has to do with the fact that he’s on late night TV…and anything can make us laugh after 12:05.

Last night, however, Kimmel went above and beyond. He wasn’t only funny, he was awesome.

Why? Because he aired a video in response to Silverman’s “I’m f&*cking Matt DamonYoutube phenomenon. And in this video response…well, let’s just say he got some of the best cameos ever (BRAD PITT, people!!), and was able to reaffirm Ben Affleck’s hotness.

Super Bowl Sunday’s Link Bonanza!

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Best. Easy. Nachos. EVAH.

Brooke Shields proves she’s still hotter than most of us will ever be.

You know how Bush is all confident that we’re totally kicking ass over there in Afghanistan? Well…

Sara Silverman is f*&cking Matt Damon. I’m giving her a virtual high-five.

Want your movie to flop? Cast Jessica Alba.

OMG. The writer’s strike may truly be over soon…and hopefully answering my prayers by making sure American Gladiators dies a quick, performance-enhanced death.

How to look at the female voter.

Ryan Gosling can do no wrong. Ever. Seriously.