I don’t know why I still act surprised when something crazy happens with celebrities.  It’s not really shocking anymore, but some things do give me a “if this shizz didn’t happen all the time, I might be surprised” kind of vibe.  This week Lindsay Lohan seems to be doing well in rehab, Kanye lost it once again, celebs are pregnant, and Taylor Swift is still with Jake Gyllenhaal (and still can’t sing).

Giant Slurpee

1. Kanye West lost it this week after an interview with Matt Lauer on The Today Show about his comments on George W. Bush.  Matt did a long interview with the former president, where he revealed that Kanye calling him a racist “was one of the most disgusting moments of [his] presidency.”  So when Matt talked to Kanye about the situation, he freaked out.  Then he took to his Twitter for a meltdown saying that Matt tried to force his answers (in all caps mind you) and many other outrageous tweets.  Someone needs to get Kanye a sedative.

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Shizz went down this week: Biebs has a tat, Miley is still a bird, and George Lopez cheated on his wife (the same wife who GAVE HIM HER KIDNEY) with some hookers. You know, just another week.  Anyway, while it pains me that I know so much about the lives of these people, I’m happy to report the deets for all of you. I really am a martyr. You’re welcome.

Golden Nuggets of Information

1. Lindsay Lohan has a warrant out for her arrest with a bail set for $100,000! Lindsay was supposed to appear in court this week, but instead she went to Cannes to promote her new film Deep Throat, which hasn’t even been approved yet. When it was time for her to fly home, her passport was “stolen” but the police have no record of her reporting it stolen! Lindsay sent out an email asking friends for a private jet to get her back to L.A. so she wouldn’t miss her court date, but there was no such luck. (She shoulda called Doug Reinhardt, right?) So when she gets back to the States, she’ll be in the slammer. So….that’s 1 Lohan in jail, 3 to go?

2. Bret Michaels is back in the hospital! Boo, this is bad news! Bret was experiencing numbness in the left side of his body, and doctors found a hole in his heart. The condition is treatable, but he needs to take it easy. Bret is trying to get back to his career and wants to appear on the finale of Celebrity Apprentice, however especially after his recent brain hemorrhage, homeboy needs to rest. Get on that Rock of Love bus better soon, Bret! Read More »

‘Today’ show host Matt Lauer is the latest star whose name has been connected to a cheating scandal. The National Enquirer reported last week that Lauer was looking for new digs after separating from his wife of twelve years, Annette Roque, following questionable behavior during the Vancouver Olympics. Last week, the couple denied the story to PEOPLE — “I have never moved out. I am not moving out. There is no truth to that,” Lauer said — but that hasn’t stopped sources from tracking the couple’s every move, including whether Rogue is even wearing her wedding ring. Going forward, Lauer can certainly expect more digging.

Just ask Tiger Woods. Or Jesse James. Or Tiki Barber, who last month announced he and his wife had split after he was caught with 23-year-old former NBC intern Tracy Johnson. Barber, a ‘Today’ contributor and former NFL superstar, left wife Ginny Cha after she confronted him about reports that he was seen canoodling with Johnson, also in Vancouver. Barber moved out of his New York home, leaving Cha eight months pregnant with twins. Johnson also happened to be the couples’ babysitter. Read More »

Hey, guess what? Another male celebrity can’t keep it in his pants! Bet you didn’t see that one coming. We’ve had, what, a week without a cheating scandal in the past 2 months?

While I know celebrity romances rarely last, my naivety sometimes gets the best of me when it comes to cheating. I love seeing Hollywood couples be cutesy as they try to avoid the paparazzi. But their relationships aren’t perfect. Just like Us Weekly tells us every week, stars are people too! And, apparently, they’re people who ignore their vows and sleep with everyone they can find.

Serious News

1. Today Show hunk Matt Lauer has reportedly left his wife of 12 years, Annette Roque, because of a saucy cheating scandal. Honestly, the celebrity cheating ring is starting to bore me, but I digress. Apparently while Lauer was covering the Winter Olympics in Vancouver, he got down with a few women and his wife found out. Poor lady. She’s already been seen without her wedding ring, so hopefully she’ll take the Sandra Bullock route and sign some papers. That’s the last time I watch the Today Show!

2. Larry King and Shawn Southwick have called off their divorce for the children. They released a statement earlier this week, saying that they “love being a family.” But this isn’t a fairy tale, so to create even more drama: Shawn’s sister (the mistress) is trying to sue Larry King because of the promises he made her, particularly involving financial support. This should get nice and messy. Read More »

Matt Lauer has a run-in with Bambi.

Another reason it’s great not to live in Alaska.

Celebrities are really narcissitic.

Make your dreams come true.

Enough with the fluff – send an honest e-card. Read More »

6 overtimes!? Way to go, Syracuse!

Lily Allen attacks!

Not sure I believe Brad would choose the nanny over Angie.

Michael Phelps opens up about pot picture.

John Stewart vs. Jim Cramer. Go.

Is Mandy Moore preggers?

If You Seek Amy video.

Get ready for some more affordable birth control!

Is Chanel for real with this?!

A little behind the “scenes” gossip from The Hills!

New Balance for Nine West. So cute!

Jessica Biel wants to marry JT. Um, who doesn’t?!

I’ve never been more impressed by a hairdo!

How did I miss a Chris Brown and Rihanna dance off?

Does Lily Allen’s new tattoo look familiar to you?

Madonna and her new beau are making it official.

In case you were having a hard time, understanding porn just got a little easier.

Snag Isla Fisher’s style!

Kelly Clarkson’s new album leaked!

I have such a crush on Matt Lauer it’s ridiculous.

Oscar bingo? I now have plans for Sunday.

Keep lipstick off your teeth with these easy tips.

Jessica Simpson doesn’t need to lose weight. She needs to lose her stylist!

Home Depot’s cutting jobs in a big way.

Did Kirsten Dunst steal our man?

The New Kids’ tour dates are out!

The WTF Blanket.

7 reasons why you should be happy.

Add some cinnamon to your diet!

Fergie and Josh return from the honeymoon.

Please don’t let these sunglasses get popular.

Natalie Dylan explains why she’s selling her v-card.

And Obama’s first interview goes to….Matt Lauer.

Meredith Viera embarrassed our cute Matt Lauer on national television.

Herbs aren’t always healthy, but we all knew that.

Disney has produced yet another child-craving-the-porn-star limelight.

Why do pretty women get everything? Even the writing jobs?

There are no more stores to enjoy, not even the electronics kind.

Try on this belt for size.

Hollywood is hogging all the babies, well just Angelina and Madonna.

Starbucks may be smarter than we thought.

Usher can turn me on any day.

Angelina Jolie the Barbie looks remarkably like Angelina Jolie the person

Speaking of dolls (caution: WEIRD)

LC Drinks it, so should you

Freakiest mom ever?

Locklear’s arrest a setup!

THE Viral Video

Britney accidentally admits her VMA awards were staged

What you need to be one of Hef’s bodacious babes

Teenybopper dream job: have sex with a Jonas Bro

The Princess Diary’s assests…

Gossip Guys on the Gay rumors

Kurt Cobain: in blunt form

Daniel Craig, your title sucks

Aw, Leo wants little leos!