A big part of etiquette is knowing how to deal with rude people with dignity and grace.

Let’s face it, you can mind your manners all you want but there’ll always be that jerk that comes along and pushes you off the swing set anyway *cough-Ryan-M-from-first-grade-cough* So here are some quick guidelines of how to deal with the Ryans of this world:

During a confrontation…

1. Ask yourself if it’s really worth it.
If someone’s walking straight at you and expect you to get out of their way, remember that it wouldn’t kill you to move over. Yeah, it’s a pain in the butt and yeah, that person is completely rude, but is it worth ruining your day over?

2. Stay calm under pressure.
As Miss Manners, I really can’t condone rudeness; however, I do understand that everyone has bad days and sometimes people honestly don’t know that they’re being rude. So if you catch an attitude at the get-go, they might see it as you being rude first. Never fight fire with fire. No matter what, speak calmly and rationally and perhaps they’ll realize how ridiculous they sound in comparison.
DO NOT: Act patronizing. If your calmness comes off as patronizing/douche-y, that’ll only set them off again. No one likes to feel stupid and you’ll just push their buttons if they feel like you’re looking down on them.
OR: Start a shouting match, especially in public. Then both of you are being rude. Plus it’s hard to be rational when you’re screaming/being screamed at. Read More »

Question for Tuffy? Email her at tuffyluv@collegecandy.com to be featured in her column, which used to run every other Tuesday, but, starting in two weeks, will run every flipping Tuesday! Ask away!!!

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m probably the least experienced person I know. Here’s a secret: I may have been kissed before but it was one of those sexless pecs so no real love there. I feel really awkward. I’ve had plenty of boyfriends but I’m really shy about sex. None of them has even gotten close. I’m only a freshmen in college but I’ve been here a while and have had opportunities to hook up ( I try however to avoid alcohol so some parties I won’t go to).

Anyway I was hoping to hook up with my crush but I don’t think I could tell him I like him or anything really. We hang out in groups a lot but I want to know how can I tell if he likes me? And if he does, how to confess?

Sincerly,

VERY Shy

Dear VERY Shy,

First of all, honey, be safe, please. Always use condoms EVERY TIME, no matter what. Okay? Got it? For real. It’s not worth the risk, EVER.

Okay, now that that’s out of the way: Read More »

So, the thing about most of the annoying people on campus is that, most of the time, you can get away from them. Either you pass the class and move on, you simply ignore their sermons, or they generally exit your life just as quickly as they came.

Not all of them, though. Some annoying campus dwellers will be there. Always. Forever. And never go away.

Who am I talking about? Why, the  Frat House Groupie, of course!

Now, there are many girls who may seem to fall into this category that should not. These are:

1) Members of a sister sorority. It’s super common to see certain fraternities pairing up with certain sororities on campus; their bylaws/campus rules/international standards of fraternizing require that they have to make nice with the girlies and co-host events together.  Whatev.  Point is, if you’re hanging at the house one Friday night because they’re having an awesome 70s themed costume party and you see the typical group of sorority girls, those are the least of your worries.

2) Girlfriends or ex girlfriends of frat boys: These girls are expected to be there. After all, they aren’t just trolling the crowd looking for booty; this is their man’s house. Or their ex man. And they are still friends with all the boys. Read: they know people.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s move into the girls you should be wary of. There are generally two types of Frat House Groupies: Read More »

Last time, I told you about my oh-so-lovely hallmates, who chose to cover my board with hateful words. When misogynistic and sexist words come into it, I’ve officially stopped being willing to roll over. I emailed the floor’s RCA, who passed me on to the dean of student life. I spoke with the dean and ultimately an email and letter was circulated indicating such behavior was not to be tolerated. After that, the words disappeared and the images stopped showing up — for a while, and I thought that would be the end of it. But the hallmates from hell kept finding more ways to be the rudest human beings I’ve ever crossed paths with.

One night at four a.m. the whole group came banging back from a wild night at one of the eating clubs. One girl and one guy had gotten into some sort of argument, and they decided to have it out — right in front of my door. For an hour I heard screaming of “YOU ARE A BAD PERSON! A BAD PERSON!” And the barked reply, “JUST FORGET IT AND GO TO BED!” immediately followed by the “YOU ARE A BAD PERSON!” again. My boyfriend emailed the rca to complain. Later that week, I was returning from a late shower, only wearing a towel, and found the whole group of freshmen clustered around my door, talking loudly. When I said “excuse me,” they ignored me. When I started pushing at people, they still ignored me. I had to shout at the top of my lungs and push at the same time, clutching my towel, just to get them to move. I still don’t know if they were purposefully being difficult, or just were oblivious, but it made me feel oddly threatened and vulnerable, as if they were determined not to recognize me as a human being. Read More »

Flickr is a crazy little website. Pictures from all over the world, from crappy and boring “here’s me on the lawn, now here’s me laughing on the lawn” photos to beautiful, artist renderings of pristine landscapes — everything is contained, and easy to find, on this user friendly website.

Why, Flickr is so simple and easy even your grandma could do it!

And someone’s grandma certaily has.

I really can’t say how our office stumbled across this set of photos, but I can say that after searching through about 100 of them, I have never wished there was eye sanitizer more than at this exact moment. I mean…what.the.hell.IS.this?! Read More »

I, like many others in their low twenties, have a few friends who are married. That’s fine with me—they were obviously willing to take that step, so more power to them. It does, however, weird me out a little bit.

I’ve never really felt like I have a biological clock ticking, or that I need to do something dramatic (read: get married) before I hit 30. I don’t think my hitched friends necessarily felt that way, either—I think the time and the person were just right for them. But still, as each year passes by and I have birthday after birthday, I think to myself, “People get married at this age. People get married at younger than this age. How is that POSSIBLE?”

I consider myself a pretty mature person. Sure, occasionally I will do something like pick up a hot steel pan without an oven mitt just because I think I can do it, and then I will predictably get burned. But my life isn’t generally like that. I pay all my bills on time, I can be trusted to get back to people, and I’m responsible. Why, then, do I feel like I’ll NEVER be ready to get married? Read More »

There’s a phenomenon that’s been haunting the Internet for some time now, and I think I’ve had just about enough of it. It’s not celebrity sex-tapes, it’s not porn, and it’s not even the recent influx of spam I’ve been getting on my Gmail account about winning the international lottery(!).

No, friends, what I’m talking about is the epidemic known as Girls Posting Slutty / Drunk Pictures of Themselves on Facebook.

Obviously, this isn’t a new trend, but as I enter the age of (supposed) maturity, I can’t help but feel frustrated at the onslaught of obviously wasted half-naked girls clogging the photo albums of kids I used to baby-sit in high school.

I admit, I used to have a fair share of “I’m so DRUNK” pictures on my Facebook account, but as soon as I started to assert myself as an adult, I went and erased every single picture that made me seem…less than smart. I’m of age, I’m allowed to have fun, but how mature can I really make myself out to be if there are pictures floating around somewhere that show me hanging upside down off someone’s couch or double fisting two shots of Jack? Read More »