With Passover just around the corner (it starts Monday night, Jews), it’s  about to be all about the Matzoh. Say goodbye to your Cheerios, your penne pasta, and your delicious New York bagels. It’s like a week-long Atkins diet… with nothing but a flat tasteless cracker to fill your belly.

But don’t go all no-carbo-depressed on me because there are definitely some delicious ways to survive Passover! (My first tip would be strategically placing yourself next to your favorite drunk uncle, cousin, sibling during your family’s 4 hour-long seder. Woof.)

Here are my favorite Passover matzoh treats!

Matzoh pizza – One of my childhood favorites. Cover matz0h with tomato sauce and cheese (and any other preferred pizza toppings) and stick it in the toaster. It will never be as good as your favorite slice from the neighborhood pizzeria, but it will help you survive your FOMO when all of your Gentile friends get their drunken deep-dish pies on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday night.

Matzoh ball soup – My mom’s matzoh ball soup could bring every boy, girl and dog to the yard. Thankfully, she passed this trait along to me. Throw in celery, carrots, and chicken and you’ll be full for a month. Matzoh ball soup is super easy to make and leftovers can last you through all of Passover. If you live off-campus, I would definitely recommend inviting all of your friends over for some Jewish Penicillin to cure their hangovers. Hopefully they’ll be immediately addicted and you can convince them to come back over after Passover to try it with some rye bread. Read More »

Passover. A week of torture for the hungover soul. All we want is carbs and all we’ve got is cardboard. Saweet.

All my Jewish peeps out there know that Passover is a time where you have to hold your head up high and say, “Sure, my non-Jewish friends get to eat Peeps and Reese’s peanut butter cup eggs (where the PB to chocolate ratio is so. much. better.), but, hey, I get all those fake desserts that taste like crap yet still make me fat AND constipated. Mazel Tov to ME!” So glad we wandered in the desert for this.

Passover is a time where we must get creative in the kitchen. Top Chef has nothing on me after 8 days of no bread. So, being that I’ve been a Passover Jew since I left the womb, I will share with you my 5 best tips for surviving the Big P.

1) Don’t think of it as an “OMG WTF am I supposed to do without bread?!” sitch. Instead, think of it as a week long cleanse and use it as a time to detox; stick to salads, fruits, proteins, almonds, sweet potatoes and dark chocolate (K for P of course). All of those foods will keep you fuller longer and after a day of really craving the carbs you will feel a whole lot better anyways. Besides, its not like matzoh satisfies that carb craving, anyway.

2) Two Words: Matzoh. Pizza. It never gets old. It always tastes good. Load that bad tasting piece of matzo with sauce, cheese and a ton of veggies (the more fiber with that matzo the better – trust me) and you will forget how much you hated this holiday in the first place. Read More »