I know more about these women than I do about our forefathers.

Every Friday I head home from work, tear off my bra, put on my biggest pair of sweatpants, order in Pad Se Ew and settle in for a night of TV. Lame? Maybe. But get back to me after you’re working 60-hour weeks in the real world. Friday nights on the couch are sacred.

Last week, as I fired up the DVR to catch up on all the shows I’d missed from the week, I had a rather enlightening moment. Sorta like an Oprah “aha!” moment, only way more embarrassing. My entire DVR was taken up by reality shows. Top Chef, Project Runway, The Real Housewives, Ace of Cakes… Hell, I even had a little Real World/Road Rules Duel on there.

I looked around to make sure none of my neighbors could see my TV through the windows. I mean, I know I like me some crappy TV, but this was just mortifying. My entire life revolves around watching train wrecks on camera! But maybe it’s not that sad? I mean, everyone loves themselves a little trash now and then, right? Those shows are on for a reason. And some of them are actually really good! Maybe not anything on E!, but we can all learn a thing or two from The Biggest Loser, right?

Right?!?

To make myself feel better about my addiction (and my sad, lame life) I asked the CollegeCandy writers to share their reality TV faves this week. You know you got one, too. Share it in the comments! Read More »

Dear Nadya Suleman,

Ever since you gave birth to octuplets last week, the media just can’t stop talking about you. Which seems to suit you just fine; we heard that you’ve hired an agent to help you break into TV. Splendid!

t’s good to see a mother who just loves using her kids for cash flow her children.

You’ll definitely make tons of money from doing interviews, and you’ll even get to meet celebrities. Maybe you’ll even be on Oprah! Or even Maury Povich – he loves those “Who’s the Daddy?” shows!

I noticed you were hoping to land a job on some news show or another as an “on-camera childcare expert.” I’m thinking you are better suited to be a baby-making expert (14 kids under the age of 7…and you are only 33!), but that’s neither here nor there. Read More »

So you have this boyfriend and you are so totally smitten. He is smart, he treats you well and he happens to be 3 inches taller than you…perfect. Things are going really well and you guys are gettin’ pretty serious; he has even met the parentals.

Huge!

And then you catch him at the bar downing a beer with some trampy blonde bimbo. What. the. hell? Is he really flirting right in front of you? Does he want to take this girl home? Is he trying to get into her (ugly/slutty) pants? She has nice boobs, yes, but does he even realize WHAT HE IS THROWING AWAY?

Hold on a second. Maybe you are over-reacting? Is there really something wrong with a little harmless flirting in a relationship? He is comin’ home with you, after all. Maybe it’s totally innocent. Maybe he’s telling that whore about his amazing girlfriend! And if not, he’s still comin’ home with you, right?

We asked our boy advisor to weigh in on this touchy (did you catch that pun? HA!) subject. Here is what he had to say. Read More »

I hope you are staying in tonight, because the opening ceremonies are gonna be off the chain!

Tara Reid will not be Dancing with the Stars. Drinking with the stars, however? She’s got that one in the bag.

These women can totally kick your ass.

Woman arrested for posting “sexual” stories online. We are so. screwed.

This might be the weirdest phobia ever. And the best video.

These kids somehow make me feel inadequate.

Forget Labor Day; September 2nd should be a national holiday!

Bad News: Ben and Jerry will not be making a Crack Cocaine/Horse Tranquilizer ice cream anytime soon.

Speaking of drugs…let’s hope Amy Winehouse is washing her hands…

Weird foods from the Olympic games.

Practice (extra) safe sex. You know, just to be abso-freaking-lutely sure.

This story is old, but the photo is priceless.

Man posts ad on Craigslist looking for a MILF…and gets one. Kinda.

Here at the College Candy offices, we watch a lot of TV. In our mindless daytime TV repertoire is everything you can ask for…if you’re asking for trash.

But it’s good trash! Jerry Springer, The Price Is Right, Judge Judy, and then our favorite…back-to-back episodes of Maury.

I love Maury Povich. He’s pushing 70 and he can still instill fear into the toughest baby-daddy. And that, my friends, is admirable. After watching 2 episodes a day for the last few weeks, I’ve noticed a pattern from Maury. He’s not just a talk show host. He’s a teacher willing to listen, educate, and then find our real fathers. And because he’s a veritable saint, there are many things we could all learn from Mr. Povich.

Write this down: Read More »

Forget birth control, forget condoms. I have found IT. And by IT I mean the foolproof way to stop teenage/unwanted pregnancies, stop the spread of std’s, hell–it might even stop you from wanting to have sex (I said might). Okay, all of the above may put Maury Povich out of a job- but I’m pretty sure my idea is like, uh, genius. How come no one has ever thought of this before? Sure all those conservative-good-Christian-political people preach teaching abstinence only education as a way to stop std’s and pregnancies out of wedlock (which is clearly not working in this country) and those a bit more liberal preach the importance of teaching safe sex practices and forms of birth control. I am not discounting that. BUT I do think my idea is a fantabulous new way to put a halt to this “who’s my baby-daddy” nonsense going on in our society right now.

Where did this brilliant idea come from? Wellllll, moving back home for the summer has made my Friday and Saturday nights … different (to say the least). I have traded in shots and bar crawls for yoga class and early bird movies. Partayyy, I know. The past two nights, I have seen Knocked Up and Waitress, both which have given me the inspiration for a new found form of birth-control. Read More »