• Maxim Says the Darndest Things: March Edition

    Maxim Says the Darndest Things: March Edition

    Oh, Maxim. You make it so easy to laugh at you. Today, when purchasing this month’s Maxim, I was charged like six dollars. I paid six freaking dollars for a 30-page magazine full of naked women. In tiny print beneath the cover model’s legs reads the tagline “This issue is 75% pants-free.” Well, good…because who likes pants? I don’t.

  • Maxim Says the Darndest Things: February Edition

    Maxim Says the Darndest Things: February Edition

    My favorite headlines are, and no I’m not joking, “Is Everything Better With a Monkey?” “We Go Camping at Occupy Wall Street!” and “Women Who Want to Use You For Sex (and Where to Meet Them).” February is also a bonus month for our favorite men’s magazine, it comes with a “Hometown Hotties” insert in Maxim Lingerie talking about their favorite things to wear during sexy time.

  • Maxim Says the Darndest Things: November Edition

    Maxim Says the Darndest Things: November Edition

    This month, Maxim wants to give thanks for leaves crunching under feet, families gathered around large piles of food and gorgeous women who are wearing nothing but footballs. That pretty much narrows being thankful to three things: pleasure, food and sex. Needless to say, I wasn’t surprised.

  • Maxim Says the Darndest Things: October Edition

    Maxim Says the Darndest Things: October Edition

    I always love Maxim during Halloween because they write and feature the craziest stuff possible. Need proof? The first two headlines I laid eyes on for October’s cover were: ‘A Polar Bear Ate My Head,’ and ‘Secrets of Lesbian Sex: How to Get in on the Action.’ No wonder I grabbed the last issue on the newsstand. Men want them some gore and girl on girl.

  • Maxim Says the Darndest Things: September Edition

    Maxim Says the Darndest Things: September Edition

    Whenever I read Maxim, along with staring at hot chicks, I learn the most random facts in the world. I never knew men were so interested in totally irrelevant and pointless information. Here’s a few random facts for you: Did you know Illinois recently passed a law that allows residents to pick up roadkill?

  • Maxim Says the Darndest Things: August Edition

    Maxim Says the Darndest Things: August Edition

    August has GOT to be one of the best months out there for dudes. And I’m just going off of the subtitles on the cover of this month’s Maxim magazine. Between Shark Week, hot and humid Skype sex, free beer and a half naked chick on a beach – I don’t know what else any guy really needs (aside for maybe a napkin and a cigarette – hehe).

  • Maxim Says the Darndest Things: July Edition

    Maxim Says the Darndest Things: July Edition

    July is one of my favorite months of the entire year. And not because Maxim finally gets a chance to pimp out articles encouraging men to go to work without pants (just because it’s balmy out), and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley can prance around desolate beaches wearing studded jean shorts that would only fit a midget or a Hollister manikin. (Let’s just say I could see some cheekie cheek.)

  • Maxim Says The Darndest Things: December Edition

    Maxim Says The Darndest Things: December Edition

    It’s that time of month again; for me to buy the magazine I hate after I consume the eighty pieces of pie (with a side of whipped cream) because I’ve browsed the pages full of cute blondes wearing Aerie panties, faux-fur hats, all while riding crotch rockets. Common Maxim, put some clothes on these ladies, I can see their midriff.

  • Maxim Says The Darndest Things: August Edition

    Maxim Says The Darndest Things: August Edition

    It’s that time of month again when I nobly purchase my Maxim magazine, a pack of Dove Dark Chocolates and snuggle up on my couch to scan the half nudey pages of the man bible. I’m really starting to get used to this. I’ve learned a lot the past few months of scanning the pages chock full of boobs and booze, and this month did not disappoint.