Mmmm. When it hits your lips....

Happy National Coffee Day! You know Americans have a serious caffeine addiction when they single out an entire day in which to celebrate it. But before you check your jittery and wide-eyed self into rehab, let’s take a moment to consider the benefits of that aromatic Americano you pick up every morning at your local Starbucks.

First and foremost, coffee produces mental alertness. A pumpkin spice latte in the morning wakes you up, energizes you and improves performance, both academically and, I imagine, in the sack. And it’s legal and socially acceptable. So go on and abuse it, weary college student, no ones judging you.

Coffee is the drink of the escape artist. Things in the library getting too intense for your liking? Escape to the coffee shop for a breather. The thought of spinach in your teeth on a first dinner date worrying you? Ask him to get a casual cup of coffee instead. If avoidance is your game, coffee is your salvation.

Plus it’s loaded up with antioxidants, which are so hot right now. A cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin in the morning will make your skin a no-fly zone for free radicals.

On the same token, coffee has been proven to protect against Parkinson’s disease, type 2 diabetes and Alzheimer’s. Evidence to be found here, here and here. So, in essence, coffee is basically the caffeinated polar opposite of Diet Coke, which will kill you, apparently.

And last but not least, a cup of coffee will give you a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. Which, if you’re wondering, is the caffeine stimulating your bowels. Yummy.

Coffee is a lifestyle choice. Consumers of this drug, excuse me, drink of choice come together in coffee shops across the nation and discuss life, love and why over a steaming cup of their favorite brand of brain food. So celebrate this day with your loved ones, and then hit the bathroom immediately after.