We really want to read the new Will and Kate book

Is next fall gonna be good or what?!

Can men and women just be friends?

The hottest shoes of the summer

Lessons for the newest graduates

WTF: Temporary LIP Tattoos?!

Did Betty White kill Bin Laden???

Breaking down the 25,000th Big Mac

This is who Arnold cheated on Maria with?!

I’d watch the commercials for once.

And let me tell you something, I will never do that again. Because a lot of the commercials today? Well, they’re pretty terrible. What are these marketing people thinking? What are the companies thinking? How can they spend millions on this stuff??

10. Flo from Progressive. There’s nothing outright annoying and ridiculous about this commercial except, you know, Flo herself. Who wouldn’t want an overly perky woman in white who wears way too much lipstick and looks like she should be in a Bumpit commercial for their spokesperson? Who would find her annoying? Um, me.

9. Honda’s Mr. Opportunity I’m sorry but why would they think that a cartoon sketch of a sleazy car salesman would be any better at selling cars than an actual sleazy car salesman?

8. McDonalds R&B McNugget Commercial. Girl you got a ten piece, don’t be stingy. Really? This is what they’re going with? An R&B singer crying over the fact that his girlfriend has snuck off in the night, in the rain, in heels, to go pick up a ten piece of McCripsy, McJuicy McNuggets? Whatever happened to ‘we love to see you smile,’ huh, McDonalds?

7. The Freecreditreport.com Song Oh, make it stop. Make. it. stop! I don’t know what it says about America that this commercial campaign was so successful that they actually ended up making nine (nine!) freecreditreport.com commercials with the singer dressed up as a pirate, riding a bike, and even living at a renaissance fair.

6.The Optimum Triple Play Commerical 877-393-4468. I will remember that number even when I can’t remember my own name. I’ve got to hand it to them, that jingle was catchy, still is even now when I hear it in the newer versions of this commercial. You know, the ones without the half naked mermaids and the dancing pimp.

5. The Swiffer Baby Come Back Commercial  Okay. Hmm. What’s the word I’m looking for? Corny? Cheesy? Obnoxious? Annoying? How about all of the above.

4. Boost Mobile Commercial I would really love to know what it was exactly they were trying to do with this commercial. A little kid dressed up like a dog and stuck in a cage? Yes, obviously if they were going to cut back on costs that would be the way to go. Was it supposed to be funny? Well…it wasn’t.

3. The Skittle Tree Boy Commercial Another one that I guess was supposed to be funny but really just fell flat. The mother and her “stop talking about dreams, we depend on you” approach came off as really, really creepy to me. Really creepy. But entertaining? Not so much.

2. The Swiffer Mud and Dirt Commercial  I didn’t think anything could top my dislike of “baby come back,” but, oh boy, was I wrong. Mud and dirt turn out to be two single gals just waiting around for the perfect mop to come along an sweep ‘em (har har) off their feet? What audience were they trying to target here, exactly?  Because I can tell ya as a single gal I really don’t spend all that much time thinking about cleaning supplies.

1. Old Navy Mannequins  Every time this commercial would come on I would cringe. With each new addition it just got more absurd. Talking mannequins. Dating mannequins. Super model mannequins. Suburban mannequins. How could they possibly let this continue? How could they possibly build on such a ridiculous concept? Why wasn’t this pulled off the air immediately? Why did it run for so long?? Why am I wearing Old Navy sweatpants right now?!

Here’s the thing, though, despite the fact that these commercials are really, really terrible, I still remember all of them. So maybe there’s a method to the madness? Huh.

What about you? Which commercials do you hate the most? 

Mmmm ogre load. That sounds delicious. And tangy.
Pause. Not.
Pause. Ew.

"She's gonna get fat."

As college students, we are constantly inundated with new knowledge. It can be useful, thought-provoking, or crammed into our head on a Starbucks-fueled binge several hours before an exam. However, very rarely do we question the validity of all this new knowledge (unless you take philosophy classes, then you’ll question away).

That’s where College Candy comes in. We’re not going to debate whether or not the Theory of Relativity actually exists (a disappointment, I know, but I’m a communications major and stopped taking science classes after Baby Bio fresh year). However, we are here to thoroughly investigate the most widespread college knowledge (no, not rhyming): the myth.

Alright guys, I’m gonna level with you: I’m a big fan of the brewskies. I like Sam Adams Pumpkin Ale, Sweetwater 420, the occasional stein of Newcastle, and the slightly more frequent funnel full of Bud Light. I particularly like that I can drink copious amounts of beer without the consequences that would come from drinking the same amount of vodka, water & lime. Most of all, I like that beer lends itself easily to day-drinking.

What I don’t like about beer (besides how much it makes me want to sing drinking songs) is that it makes me fat.

It’s not even the eventual, slowly-creeping-towards-your-thighs fat. It’s like an immediate, “I’m so carbonated and delicious and I’m going to make you so full you can’t suck in anymore” variety of fat. So it’s no wonder that beer contributes majorly to the Freshman 15, right? Ehh, yes and no.

The typical 12 ounce beer has around 150 calories. So obviously, each one you drink adds to your bottom line of calorie intake. The more calories you consume without burning them off, the more weight you’re gonna gain (I know, it’s all very scientific). But if you carefully measure out your Stairmaster time to counteract the beer pong tournament you plan on winning later and you’re still gaining weight, it might not be Natty Light’s fault.

A strange thing happens when I drink beer. Come the end of the party/night/gameday/Happy Hour, I feel this strange magnetic force pulling me in the direction of anywhere that serves cheese fries. I’m not the only one, right?  Ok, good.

Beer, while awesome, still has alcohol in it (actually I’m pretty sure that’s what makes it awesome). Alcohol has this sneaky, two pronged approach to weight gain. In and of itself, it’s a highly caloric waste of nutritional value. On top of that, it lowers inhibitions. So not only are you more likely to make out with that guy who dressed up as a Smurf for Halloween (my best friend is still trying to get the blue body paint off of her sheets), you’re more likely to think that a Big Mac is totally worth blowing your day of careful eating and yoga. And it might not stop at the Big Mac, because we all know McDonald’s is a gateway drug to pizza and Lucky Charms.

So, while beer will make you gain weight (without exercise and self-control), another often-overlooked aspect of weight gain is beer’s BFF, Drunk Eating. The best way to avoid gaining a beer gut that isn’t even beer? Don’t stock your fridge with unhealthy crap, keep snacks in pre-portioned containers or bags, and for the love of all that is holy do not ask the cab driver to stop at Taco Bell on the way home! Instead, eat a good dinner with complex carbs and protein on nights you know you’re goin’ out big. Good judgment before 5 rounds of flip cup might just ensure better judgment after you are dubbed queen of the first try flip.

Mmm. Only 480 calories of fast food goodness.

I can’t lie: I love fast food. So much so that I have mapped out all the fast-food restaurants near my campus and committed all of their locations to memory, as well as the fastest routes to get there. And I may have instructed a cab driver to swing by and grab me a large order of fries and honey for dipping them on the way home from the bar. Twice. Yeah, that’s a bit excessive, but don’t judge; we have all experienced that moment when the dining hall slop is simply too underwhelming and all we want is a Big Mac. And fries. And a milkshake to wash it all down.

It is my firmest belief that fast-food restaurants should be listed as one of America’s deadliest sins. But because I can’t say no to a good drive-thru (Editor’s Note: Don’t try the drunken walk-through-the-drive-thru…they don’t like that), I decided to figure out the healthiest options to order in hopes of keeping obesity at bay. And it’s surprisingly not that hard to find healthy options at grease pits these days.

If you’ve got a hankering for some good ol’ fast food but don’t want to undo that 90-minute Vinyasa class, these are the best options for you:

Wendy’s: I truly believe Wendy’s to be the 4-star restaurant of the fast-food nation. I wish they could all be a little more like Wendy. I would recommend the Mandarin Chicken Salad with Oriental Sesame Dressing and Roasted Almonds. It’s 480 calories and delectable to the last bite. If salad isn’t your bag, try the Ultimate Chicken Grill Sandwich. Only 320 calories and yet still a hearty sandwich. As the name states, it’s the ultimate.

Taco Bell: Taco Bell’s Fresco menu is basically the same items, minus the sour cream. You can get a crunchy taco for only 150 calories. That’s like a 100-calorie pack taco meal. I like the sound of that. But just a warning: You may be saving on calories, but it won’t save you any more time in the bathroom. It’s the curse of Taco Bell. Learn to live with it.

Burger King: We all remember the Whopper Freakout. We don’t need that happening again. It seems the Whopper is undeniable, so I won’t tell you not to eat it. But I will advise you against the Angry Triple Whopper as it clocks in at 1,360 calories. You’ll get the same bang for you buck with the Whopper Jr (370 calories), and you won’t have to do a Target run for larger pants on your way home.

Dominos: The late night Domino’s delivery is inevitable. Accept it. So when you’re craving a slice of pizza to soak up all the alcohol in your system and, face it, you’re going to order a large, here are the lightest options: Cheese, Veggie, Philly Steak, Ham and Pineapple and Grilled Chicken and Veggies. These pizzas all weigh in at about 250 calories per slice. Try not to eat the whole pie by yourself, though. Disaster.

KFC: Resisting their Famous Bowls is like turning down a date with Jude Law for me. But KFC has so many low-fat choices that I simply can’t chow down on biscuits and mashed potatoes in good faith. Now that they are offering Kentucky Grilled Chicken, there is no excuse. Also, may I present for your enjoyment the Honey Barbecue Sandwich—300 calories. Delish.

McDonalds: If Super Size Me has taught you anything, DON’T SUPERSIZE YOUR MEAL! If you ever wondered why the arches are golden, it’s because they’re deep-fried in grease, so back away from the fries, people! Try a Premium Asian Salad with Grilled Chicken (300 calories and 10 grams of fat) or a Grilled Chicken Snack Wrap (260 calories and 9 grams of fat) instead.

Chipotle: If you want to be healthy, just don’t go to Chipotle. It may be buffet style giving you complete control of what you will be eating, but if you’re like me, you’re not going to be able to deny all the toppings they have to offer. In fact, you’re probably going to demand extra guacamole. Right there you’re talking about 1,437 calories and 57 grams of fat. I’m currently hanging my head in shame.

Before this, I’ve seen some silly pants on guys, but I’ve always kept my mouth shut because who am I to talk? They put up with my hundred-dollar-stiletto cravings, don’t they? (And they carry me home at the end of the night when those hundred-dollar silettos give me hundred-dollar blisters.) But what gets me this time is that this particular pair of jeans retails for about $550. [Yes, I‘m serious! FIVE HUNDRED.]

I don’t get it. Maybe it’s a guy thing, because all I saw when I looked at these was this:

And the more I thought about it, the more I realized how weird some guy trends really are. So now I’d like to interrupt our weekly segment of “What He Really Thinks…” and turn it over to you ladies to judge these pieces of incomprehensible male fashion. But to be fair, I’ve taken some comments from the peanut gallery. You know, to give them a chance to defend themselves see the light:

(Jeans above)
The BF, Rutgers University
BF: “Bah-da-buh-buh-buhh… I’m lovin’ it.” It’s either that or he sat on something.
Me: “Those cost $500.”
BF: For five hundred dollars those jeans better wipe my #$% for me.
Me: ….
BF: … No, seriously? Cause I have some old jeans from that painting job if anyone’s interested. Come see me on eBay.

Photographer, The Art Institute of Houston:
Photog: Hey.. she’s got a pretty nice ass.
Me: “That’s a guy.”
Photog: OHH! OMFG. WTH is wrong with you? Why would you show me that?
Me: “Because YOU’RE wearing a pair of guy skinnies?”
Photog: Yeah, but they’re not that tight. Besides, I started wearing them first. I hate how everyone’s trying to be all ‘avant garde’ now, just because it’s ‘in.’ I did it forever ago.
Me: “Yeah whatever, you just checked out another guy’s ass.”

Premed, NYU:
Pre-doc: WHY IS HE WEARING A PURSE?!
Me: “I don’t know. But what do you think of the jeans? Would you wear these?”
Pre-doc: No.

J., USP: I have purple skinny jeans. That’s just my style. I think they’re cool. They’re a lot more comfortable than you’d think. Just lose the purse. That’s never cool on a guy.

V, Kean University - Haha! Throwback. I used rock my pants like that back in the day. That was the sh*t from grammar school to high school. But then you go to college and you grow out of it. You “Kayne it up,” ya know?

Little Brother, 12:
Me: “You know Mom would never let you leave the house like this, right? Ever.”
Lil bro: Yup.

Ok, so this is just a taste of the dude trends I’m not understanding. I’d love to hear what you girls think of these hot messes.  Leave a comment below!

Nick Lachey’s already got a new girl!

I prefer my Christian Bale with some meat on those bones.

Mmm. McDonalds has a new burger.

It’s official: men are getting uglier.

Wow, those Germans really give it to Brit Brit.

Express jeans get a hottie makeover.

The Millionaire Matchmaker is officially matched.

Are these super foods or super trendy?

Jon Gosselin’s lady friend hearts the bong.

Warning: creepy guys are getting tech savvy.

Is Paris going after Jessica Simpson’s leftovers?

Aaaand I’m never eating McDonalds again.

Michelle Obama got a haircut. Why do we care?

Chelsea Handler is gonna be around for awhile. Woohoo!

New York schools bursing with cash.

Pharrell Williams croons for McDonalds.

Lindsay Lohan is broke (and way too skinny).

Denise Richards can’t dance.

Ugly guys make better booty calls?

Small diet changes that produce big results.

Jennifer Hudson returns to Idol.

Be your own fashion designer.

Get beauty products for free.

Manage your time better.

Kanye looks….scary.