Who’s Your Boob Tube Boyfriend?

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When real-world guys just don’t do it for us (like when they string us along and make us think they want something only to send us an IM saying they’re not looking for something serious….Sorry, I’m bitter), we love to escape to our favorite TV shows and live vicariously through the ladies with great boyfriends, even with all the baggage and dramz. There’s just something about leading men that makes us go crazy with adoration/jealousy/excitement/OMG-THEY-FINALLY-GOT-TOGETHER!

Oh, and the guys on TV are usually so. damn. cute.

But with all the amazing TV shows out there and their equally amazing hunks, how do you pick one to swoon over? I know, it’s a tough choice, but this guide might help you decide which boy is right for you:

Warning: Possible spoilers ahead if you’re not caught up with these shows! Read More »

Candy Dish: Patrick Dempsey Break

mcdreamyMcDreamy on a bike. Deeeelish.

Chris Pine and Audrina Partridge: It’s official.

Penis bling? Awesome.

People caught masturbating. So funny.

Wanna kiss Robert Pattinson? Got $20,000?

RedTagCrazy - our newest shopping obsession.

5 Grey’s Plotlines That Didn’t Make It

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We have all complained, at one time or another, on the quick spiralling freefall that is this season’s Grey’s Anatomy. Between the ghost sex and the impromptu training operations that would have no doubt been a felony in any other show, it all gives this writer pause. If these are the story lines that we saw, what are the plotlines that got turned down? Read More »

An Open Letter to Grey’s Anatomy

greys.jpgDear Grey’s Anatomy,

This is the hardest letter I’ve ever had to write. We’ve had some wonderful times, you and I—all those steamy scenes in the elevator at Seattle Grace come to mind. However (and I say this with a heavy heart), it is past time to part ways. I simply cannot devote an entire hour out of my week to you anymore. At one time, I happily planned my Thursday evening around seeing you, but now? I hardly recognize you. You have changed in the last two years, and while I first stayed out of loyalty, that is no longer reason enough.

It’s not me, it’s you. I mean that in the nicest way possible…you’re really not my type anymore. I’m sure there are some who would find Izzie and Denny having passionate ghost-sex thrilling, but it’s just not for me. In the words of McDreamy, there should be more kissing. And between actual, live humans.

There used to be excitement. Addison Shepherd’s arrival at the hospital had me reeling. I nearly fell off the couch when Meredith put her hand in the body cavity with the bomb. Izzie’s romance with her heart patient (while he was still living, anyway) made me long for my very own Denny. When he died I cried in a manner unseen since Titanic. You used to incite a windstorm of emotions. I never knew what I was feeling. Did I want MerDer to work? Was Burke the right man for Cristina? And what about Finn? Read More »

The Horny Co-Ed’s Guide to Celibacy

knitting.jpgAfter a stint of boy craziness that’s lasted maybe ten years, I’ve had one bad break-up too many and recently entered a period of no-men-under-any-circumstances- and-I-mean-it, lasting indefinitely.

Don’t get me wrong– I like being single. I’m pretty independent. I can still study and interact with other humans. I function. But when it comes to the menfolk, I get easily distracted. And attempting to stay celibate in college is like asking Whitney Houston to get clean in a crack house. So, thinking that the best offense is a good defense, I’m using a plethora of methods to stay on track and focused.

These are the ones that didn’t work.

Fattening Food I started eating pizza every day. Like, a lot of pizza. There’s this place down the street from my house that serves whole pies for five dollars. (I get the “Oahu,” which is just fancy-pants for Hawaiian. Eating an entire pie in less than three minutes almost helps you forget you’re totally pathetic.) And the first few days I was feeling all blob-like and disgusting, but that’s actually passed. Because after a few weeks I’ve plumped up a bit, and now my skin glows (read: has a greasy sheen) from the extra calories. It kind of makes me want to have a baby. Which is bad. Bad, bad, bad. Read More »

It’s On: McDreamy Vs. McSteamy

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So we watched the season premiere of Grey’s Anatomy last night and we just don’t know how we feel. Izzie is annoying us already and Yang getting pierced by an icicle? In September?It all seems so….ER.

But the 2 hour episode wasn’t a total wash. Not with McDreamy and McSteamy roaming around the hospital. It really is a good thing there are two of them – you have a much better shot of having at least one of them in every scene. You have sweet, moral Derek saving lives in one scene, and then arrogant, brooding Dr. Sloan yelling at interns in the next. Scrumptious.

It really does make the 2 hours so much more bearable.

We just can’t tell which one we like more. Or if, like Chase and Ed, we’d take em both in a heartbeat.

What do you think?

Set Your DVRs – Grey’s Anatomy and The Office Are Back!

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Not gonna lie: Thursday nights have really sucked since our two favorite shows left us at the beginning of the summer. Whereas we used to spend our Thursday evenings watching TV with great friends and great snacks (Oreo Cakesters….mmmmmm), we have been forced to [sigh] do things all summer long. Like read books and workout.

Thank God TV has returned. And not just one show, but all our shows…in a single week!

Tonight The Office and Grey’s Anatomy (2 hours!) are coming back and we can’t wait. If only we could remember what the hell happened the last time we watched either show. We figured you were having the same issue too, so we hopped on Google and found all the info you need to get right back into the drama and hilarity of your Thursday night lineup. Read More »

Candy Dish: Even McTeeny was McDreamy

Young Patrick Dempsey

Even McTeeny was McDreamy–and he could juggle!

OMG, it’s so annoying when my wedding dress totally rips apart at the altar

Breaking News: The JoBros continue to get hotter

In a related story, Corey Haim continues in the other direction

Ending a relationship is a lot like last call at a bar

What? A reality show that is funny on purpose?

Sex Fact #5: engaging in any non-missionary sexual position is illegal in DC.

Longing for some jazzy, instrumental theme music–oh, and true love?

Zachery Ty Bryan is still alive–and being tasered

Candy Dish: Madonna and JT = Hot

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OMFG!!! Madonna and JT are HOT in her new video

Mariah trumps The King

Oh hey, Jamie Lynn Spears is still pregnant

When I think gold lamé leggings, I think Woody Allen

McDreamy for McAvon

Hillary is f*cking Obama

Heidi Montag is, like, totally a feminist hero

Dita Von Teese: former hardcore porn star, blonde

Leno apologizes over gay remarks

Science explains what therapy doesn’t: mama’s boys

Grey’s Is Back… If Only for One Week

greys.jpgWooo! I’m sure I wasn’t the only one to drink a bottle of wine while watching this anticipated and almost forgotten, brand new episode of Grey’s Anatomy.

On to the drama.

So last night was all about Bailey, who we usually know nothing about. But it’s never been more clear that her marriage is in shambles because of her obsession with her job.

Now at first, when her baby boy Tucker rolled in on a stretcher, I was ready to blame the husband. I mean, was that some kind of desperate and sick attempt to get some attention? Thankfully not, but I wasn’t cool with him blaming Bailey for the whole incident. I mean, dude, sh!t happens. I’m hoping that the healer was able to calm down the marital conflict there.

And while we’re on the subject, the healer woman interested me. I know most people probably thought her energy, shakra mumbo-jumbo was total bull but I wouldn’t write the practice off. Just think about how therapeutic yoga and meditation are — both of which are based upon using the body to increase well-being. It’s deep stuff. Read More »