Question?! Answer: Ask TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Goddess of Wisdom, Guardian of Common Sense, Destroyer of BullS***, Tuffy,

Recently my fiance dumped me. Or I dumped him. Or something. I’m not sure. He tried to blackmail me and shame me into doing things I didn’t want to do by threatening to leave me if I didn’t comply so I called his bluff and we went down in flames. And then I found out he cheated on me. But that’s not why I’m emailing you, Tuffy! I’m emailing you about what happened after we broke up.

After the breakup I started toying with the idea of moving 6 hours away to go back to college. I’d quit going because my fiance wanted me to spend more time with him (I know, I know. I was a stupid c**t. But hey. I was barely 19. And stupid. So, sooooooo stupid.) and after 3 years I had the chance to go back. I finally decided to grab a pair and do it when I noticed a startling trend amongst my friends. Read More »

A big part of etiquette is knowing how to deal with rude people with dignity and grace.

Let’s face it, you can mind your manners all you want but there’ll always be that jerk that comes along and pushes you off the swing set anyway *cough-Ryan-M-from-first-grade-cough* So here are some quick guidelines of how to deal with the Ryans of this world:

During a confrontation…

1. Ask yourself if it’s really worth it.
If someone’s walking straight at you and expect you to get out of their way, remember that it wouldn’t kill you to move over. Yeah, it’s a pain in the butt and yeah, that person is completely rude, but is it worth ruining your day over?

2. Stay calm under pressure.
As Miss Manners, I really can’t condone rudeness; however, I do understand that everyone has bad days and sometimes people honestly don’t know that they’re being rude. So if you catch an attitude at the get-go, they might see it as you being rude first. Never fight fire with fire. No matter what, speak calmly and rationally and perhaps they’ll realize how ridiculous they sound in comparison.
DO NOT: Act patronizing. If your calmness comes off as patronizing/douche-y, that’ll only set them off again. No one likes to feel stupid and you’ll just push their buttons if they feel like you’re looking down on them.
OR: Start a shouting match, especially in public. Then both of you are being rude. Plus it’s hard to be rational when you’re screaming/being screamed at. Read More »

Gossip and rumors are main staples on college campuses across the nation, and the website Juicy Campus (which was recently shut down), shows just how far people are willing to go to spread gossip. At some point in everyone’s life, gossip comes up – good or bad. Gossip, in moderation, can be just another thing, but in a culture that obsesses about pop culture and dishing dirt (think of websites like Perez Hilton), the fixation of dishing dirt about someone else isn’t going away any time soon.

Although many of us love to gather on Monday nights to watch Gossip Girl and watch the scandals of the Upper East Side unfold, no one likes it when their own personal life is exposed in the cafeteria over wilted lettuce or when private information rolls off the lips of classmates before the professor starts the class. While gossip may seem like something that comes and goes, it can leave its dirty scars behind all too often.

Maybe because it’s an all-women’s college and women often use each other to bring others down, or maybe it is the size of the university, but the Hollins rumor mill never seems to cease on campus. It constantly peeks its nasty little head around the corner for students that least expect it. Whether it hurts friendships, ruins reputations, or isolates students from campus events — gossip can cause tremendous damage. Read More »

[Wanna ask Tuffy Luv?! Email her questions! Millions and millions of questions! Shoot your email to tuffy@collegecandy.com and get that shiz answered!]

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I tend to be quick to trust and I need to work on that!

Recently it has come to my attention that one of, to my knowledge, BEST friends was actually talking behind my back to a couple other close friends. I only found this out recently after our friendship had disintegrated due to her never responding to my phone calls and emails after I had moved. I felt so crappy after she stopped responding to me. People around me were shocked because we were tied at the hip and everyone thought we were best friends (yay at least i’m not going crazy!)

Apparently though she found me annoying and couldn’t wait until I moved away so that she could stop hanging out with me.

WOW how high school can you get?! If you didn’t want to hang out with me why didn’t you just say so BEFORE I moved instead of making me look like a JACKASS thinking we were best friends!

Whew. Ok. Sorry. I’m back from my rant. So, anyway, long story short something similar happened to me before with another friend as well (she manipulated me for her own twisted amusement and then dumped me when she was done) and I have a bad feeling it is also happening currently with some close friends I met when I moved (I have a feeling that they are only keeping me around to use me for something but I don’t know what that “something” is yet).

Do you have any tips for me on how to stop being so trusting of other people? Read More »

One of my esteemed colleagues wrote a great piece on texting etiquette. I recently wrote a biting piece about Papa Joe. This piece is about etiquette, too. After reading my Papa Joe piece (hopefully they read it in its entirety), a commentator, named ‘Haha,’ quipped, “you’re just a jealous peon,” to which I replied (in two posts) “nope, Haha, sure ain’t . . . I’m glad [the Simpsons are] rich. That’s great for them. But their father is a tool. Oh, one other thing . . . I LOVE the word peon. It’s great fun, conjures up great images . . . thanks!”

First, I do love the word peon. It’s nasty. It’s blunt. It’s cutting. People don’t use the word peon a lot, so I liked the reminder that the word peon exists. Reminds me of my old father (he’s a judge). He calls people peons and ninnies all the time – those words are funny, and I always chuckle when he coughs them up. BUT I digress (you’re probably getting used to that).

Now some of my fellow bloggers might wonder why I waste my time responding to remarks, whether good or bad, and why I’m even bothering to write this piece. Well, first off, I wish to thank Haha for inspiring me to do so. Because I’ve spent a lot of time (yes, it’s true) thinking about internet etiquette, how people are quick to insult (yes, I’m just as guilty, stirrin’ up crap, criticizing Mr. Simpson, etc.), name-calling, and even verbally terrorizing others on web posts. Read More »

I have a confession to make. I don’t get Madonna.

Not only do I not get her, I’m not a fan. I’ve never been a fan.

I’ve grown up with the Material Girl, and every couple of years or so when she goes and makes a drastic change in her personality, looks, and music, I think now! Now surely I’ll like her! She’s different!

But alas, that’s never the case. No matter who she is at the time – wacky-haired, sleeping-with-everyone Madonna, Henna-tattooed, meditative Madonna, super-yoga master Madonna – I just can’t bring myself to be like everyone else in America and adore her.

First of all, her songs have never resonated with me. Which is strange, because I love pop and dance music. Okay, so Like a Prayer is totally fun, but it’s not the type of song I can listen to over and over. And ever since the 90’s hit, I haven’t really liked anything of hers. Her voice isn’t something to write home about, her lyrics are never particularly interesting (except for Papa Don’t Preach. I’ll acquiesce. Those lyrics are pretty subversive), and the actual songs themselves always sound like replicas of something I’ve heard before.

Plus – and again, maybe this is just me – Madonna seems mean. Read More »