Of all things corrupting the youth of America, the very worst is Cosmopolitan magazine. Sure, it’s the best-selling lifestyle bible of the female demographic, but now that the publication is putting actresses like Dakota Fanning and Selena Gomez on the cover, the printed pamphlet for blended orgasms and all-star blowjobs seems to be catering to a new generation of sexually active females—you know, middle school girls around twelve or thirteen years old, right?

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I recently came across an interesting blog post providing some insight into society’s portrayals of sex. The cultural dialogue on sex isn’t terribly nuanced. There is aggressive, brash, unapologetic sexuality promoted by porn and pop music, and then there’s the less prominent demure, lovemaking more likely to be seen on TV and in movies. This post kind of struck a chord with me.

When we start having sex, we’re pretty likely to start emulating what we see portrayed in the media. How many of us have open, uncensored, honest conversations about our sex lives with our friends? In my experience, it’s only been very recent that I have encountered friends (and everyone who reads this column) who can talk about sex, without being coy or shrouding reality in coyness and exaggerations. So the only frame of reference we truly have is what we see in the media.

I only like rough sex. I can only orgasm from extremely intense penetration. I’ve tried “regular” sex and “making love” and I can never stick with it for long. I crave animalistic, aggressive, primal, unapologetically hardcore nookie. And I wonder how much of that is influenced by my  viewing of porn and my (almost excessive) consumption of what some  have referred to as “slutwave” pop (Ke$ha, anyone?) I know that my preferences are my own to have, but at the same time, I don’t exist in a vacuum. My body is connected to my brain, and my brain is constantly bombarded with certain images of sexuality. What if I was someone who only watched demure Hollywood classics and listened strictly to down-tempo classical music? Would I still be begging for it harder and faster in the bedroom? Would I take “you f*ck like a porn star” as a compliment?

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We all know the movies don’t necessarily contain the most accurate depictions of actual life. Or do we?

Whether we realize it or not, we all pick up subtle things from movies that we expect to find in our actual lives. And while I’m willing to overlook some of the media’s follies (like the fact that people in any foreign country all speak English), some of their depictions of sex are just. so. wrong.

Sex requires a soundtrack.
Sure, some people like to have sex to music and watching couples do it to some big, romantic song in the movies makes us all think music will enhance our orgasms, too. But how many times have you set your iTunes to random and had the Spongebob theme song come on in the middle of your session? Awkward! Sometimes it’s best to leave the music off while you’re getting frisky (unless you’re trying to drown out the noise so your roommates don’t hear). It will still be just as good.

Couples always finish together.
Not only do women orgasm every time they have sex in movies, but they always do it at the exact same time as their partner. Anyone who’s ever had sex in the real world knows this couldn’t be further from the truth for most sexual encounters.

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After years of slipping through the media cracks, Jessica Simpson is more famous now than ever. And why? The girl <gasp!> gained weight. I mean, think about it: what has J. Simps really been doing with herself, career-wise? Not a whole lot. Instead, the poor girl has been a victim of heartbreak, failed endeavors, and more media scrutiny than any person deserves.

It all started with paparazzi, a pair of high waisted jeans, and an unflattering camera angle. Suddenly Jessica Simpson went from mostly forgotten pop-turned reality star to tabloid cover material. Everyone was quick to criticize the star for “getting fat.” But what kind of society would condemn a size-six beauty, when the average size for an American woman is a fourteen?

Bravo’s collection of Real Housewives has contributed many things to pop culture, such as the infamous New Jersey table flip, the term “prostitution whore,” multiple face-lifts and boob jobs (I’m looking at you Orange County!), and who can forget the song “Tardy for the Party”? Through all the drama though, one strong willed woman has truly climbed to the top – The Real Housewives of New York’s Bethenny Frankel.

The fast talking, quick witted, and always opinionated Bethenny first appeared on the Real Housewives as the only single lady looking for love, although skeptical about it from the get-go. More focused on her career and becoming a better version of herself, Bethenny stood out from the beginning as being an independent woman who wouldn’t stop until she got what she wanted. What a change in comparison to the rest of the housewives!

By the third season of the Real Housewives of New York, viewers got to see Bethenny in an entirely different light. She went from lonely career woman to a flourishing force to be reckoned with. While the majority of the Housewife characters spent the season arguing and stirring up drama amongst each other, Bethenny was constantly working her ass off on her multiple book deals, her “SkinnyGirl” brand, and her budding romance with her now husband, Jason Hoppy. She even found out that she was pregnant! Read More »

As much as I dislike Miley Cyrus and all her bimbo-ish ways (like when she said she’s never listened to Jay-Z but he’s mentioned in her hit, “Party in the U.S.A”), this girl really speaks her mind and sometimes, she’s spot on. Like her recent comments on the painstakingly obvious double standard that young, female entertainers have to live up to in the entertainment industry.

Lately, Miley’s received a lot of flack for her onstage antics, from her revealing bondage-like costumes to her pseudo-lesbian kiss. Although, yes, she’s only 17-years-old and is still part of the controlling Disney family which has dictated her persona and image in the past, I think all the controversy surrounding Miley is unwarranted and, most of all, a double standard in an industry that expects their male pop stars to be lusted after (i.e. The Jonas Brothers) while the females remain prim and proper.

I agree with critics who comment that Miley should be a role model for the young girls who have looked up to her since her Hannah Montana days, but to be honest, what Miley is doing now is no different than what other male pop stars have done in the past. Many of them are provocative, crude and most of all, they speak their mind. What makes Miley so different from this other group is the fact she has boobs and a nice body, which automatically puts her in the “slut” category. Because she decides to dress and act to her own liking, people are getting all riled up because she’s no longer the doe-eyed, naive girl she once was.

What’s more, it frustrates me to no end to think about all the young male celebrities out there who have naked pictures of themselves on the internet or are caught doing doing drugs, but the public rarely scolds them for their mishaps. Why? Because guys don’t get the controversy. Read More »

After undergoing a week long sex-education unit in my seventh grade health class, my creepy health teacher passed out two promise cards for us girls to sign, which stated that we promised to remain abstinent until marriage. While we were told to sign one for ourselves to keep in our purse, we were also expected to leave our John Hancock on one of the cards to turn in as an assignment – no questions asked. As my classmates complacently signed their names on the dotted lines, I remember thinking how ridiculous this task seemed – why was my stance on virginity anyone’s business? If only my feminist hero, Jessica Valenti was around then!

Feminist blogger (Feministing) and author of Full Frontal Feminism and He’s A Stud, She’s A Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Women Should Know, Jessica Valenti’s latest book The Purity Myth tackles the issue of “how America’s obsession with virginity is hurting young women.”

And it truly is.

Let’s get real. Regardless if you believe in saving sex for marriage or not, it is very alarming in a disparaging way to see girls only being granted value or worth for staying sexually pure instead of for their character. Why should sexuality (in the sense of remaining abstinent) be highly coveted over a teen girl’s qualities or accomplishments that make her unique? In a society that continues to worship abstinence (with virginity programs across the nation and federally funded purity balls), Valenti points out that while virginity is acceptable, having sex is also okay because at the end of the day, a young woman’s choice should not decide her existence as being morally up to standard or not.

From the get-go in The Purity Myth, Valenti confronts the definition of “virginity” and how for such an abstract idea, the concept controls and impacts girl culture today immeasurably: “The Purity Myth is for women who are suffering every day because of the lie that virginity exists, and that is has some bearing on who we are and how good we are.” Read More »

We all want Miss California to go away. Like Mark from Road Rules season 1 (who is, like, 40 and is still doing those Real World/Road Rules Challenges), she just won’t disappear. Not that it’s entirely her fault; we media peeps love writing about a scandal, and this girl is drowning in it.

First she comes out against gay marriage. Fine. She can have her opinions – we’re totally in support of that. But then we find out her boobs were purchased for her by the Miss California people. And then she wanted to milk her D-List fame a little more by starting a movement against gay marriage nationally. Oh, and now there are nudey photos circulating the web.

I normally tend to spend my time bashing people in the limelight because it is the only thing that makes me feel good without going directly to my ass (like my BFF, the McFlurry), but I’m already eating a McFlurry today, so I’m feelin groovy. And optimistic. And charitable.

So I am going to go out on a limb here and try to find some good in this Miss California sh*tshow. Namely, the lessons we can take away from it. Because she may not be the brightest bulb (“I love to live in a country where you can choose normal marriage or opposite marriage…”), but her dumb mistakes are worth learning from. Read More »

As a college student, to say my life is hectic would be a gross underestimation. Between classes, homework, an internship, clubs, my social life, and all of those pesky responsibilities (groceries, laundry, cleaning…ugh), I’m always pressed for time, and facing pressures to do even more. I feel like if I don’t at least get straight As, get to the gym 4 times a week, or save enough money for that essential handbag, then I have failed in some way—but don’t we all?

Enter Liz Funk, who knows the ins and outs of being a “Supergirl,” as she calls it: a girl who believes she must achieve perfection in every area of her life. Simultaneously a student, author, blogger and freelance writer, Liz is both living the dream and fulfilling her prophecy that young women today face enormous pressures to be successful. At just nineteen years old, she published her first book while balancing life at Pace University’s Honors College.

In the book, Supergirls Speak Out: Inside the Secret Crisis of Overachieving Girls (now available in stores and on Amazon.com) Liz investigates how societal forces impose dangerous pressures on young women to succeed—pressures which can often lead to depression, eating disorders, or other devastating emotional traumas. It is a godsend to any young woman who ever cried upon receiving that “little” envelope from Harvard or clocked hours on the elliptical just to maintain her size 6 frame.

I got the chance to speak with Liz about her book, her passions, and life as a Supergirl. I not only admire her success, but respect her for articulating a problem that affects too many young women. We are proud to feature her in our College Candy series, “The 5 Questions We Ask Everyone,” and wish her luck as she continues her nationwide book tour. Read More »

While there are definitely tons of perks that come with being a celebrity, like the money, nice clothes, and invites to awesome Hollywood parties (to name just a few), fame also has its drawbacks.

Like the paps.

Being a mere mortal, I love the freedom I have of being able to go out of my house in sweatpants and no makeup without fear that an unflattering picture of it would show up online later that day, followed closely by the rag mags discussing my cellulite, my hair and my major fashion Don’t.

And I don’t even want to think of having to deal with my personal life in front of the world. After watching the media frenzy surrounding Lindsay and Sam’s recent breakup, I have really started to feel bad for our little LiLo. I know she’s sort of an attention whore (with a laundry list of issues), but the absolute last thing I’d want to deal with after a big break-up is constant media attention.

Just imagine what it would be like to have to deal with a heartbreaking break up while the world was watching your every move. Would you want the paparazzi swarming you when you’re walking to class in baggy sweats, no makeup, and puffy eyes from crying? Or have photos taken of you while you stock up on cookie dough and Doritos to numb the pain of a broken heart? I know I’d like to avoid any and all photos when I spontaneously burst into tears at the mere mention of beer (“OMG MY EX LOOOOVED BEEEEEEER. Waaaaah”).  Read More »