Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m almost 21 and have never had a boyfriend! I went to an all-girls high school and never socialized with guys. My circle of friends consisted of girls and this carried on as I entered university.

It’s not that I’ve never been approached before. I just think I have never met a guy I’ve genuinely been interested in. Of course there have been the occasional crushes, but those never went beyond physical appearances. I think I have high standards and easily pin point flaws in guys that immediately turn me off from the idea of being with them (eg: they lack manners or smoke), but it’s because I’m not interested in anything casual. If I am going to commit to a relationship, I have to be convinced we can make it last. Is it too much to ask for a guy who is kind and makes me laugh? (And who accepts me and my quirks?)

I don’t think I lack confidence and I don’t think I’m hideous looking. I think my problem is I don’t know how to act and talk to guys. I can be myself, but sometimes I can be blunt and lack empathy. My friends find my deadpan humor funny, but I think others don’t get it and it turns them away. To give you a better idea, I believe I may have Asperger’s Syndrome. I haven’t been diagnosed, but when I read about it, I can relate to, 95% of the signs and symptoms! I find whenever I talk to guys and people I don’t know very well, I have a difficult time holding my end of the conversation. I either don’t know how to engage the person or don’t know the appropriateness of the topics I can share. Read More »

If I had to come up with one thing I’ve learned since becoming a post-grad it would not be how to set a budget or how to meet people without classes or student groups. It would be that all those stereotypes about unemployed college graduates trying to find what they want to do next in life are wrong. Believe it or not, I don’t spend all day on the couch or in bed. I don’t go days without showering. And I’m not living in some cockroach infested apartment – although I feel like that will happen once I truly live on my own.

Unfortunately though, it’s pretty hard to convince the masses otherwise. Upon meeting someone for the first time, I feel like I always have to defend myself as a “post-grad” because the bulk of people I’m meeting are either unemployed and unmotivated, still in college, or are at least ten years older than me – and they have no clue. You would think that having some kind of detailed plan such as the LSAT and freelance writing to fall back on would help, but no – it just leaves people scratching their heads.

If they’re not scratching their heads, I get a lot of “You must miss college.” Uh, duh. Of course I miss a lot of things about college (there’s a reason people refer to it as the best time of their lives), but considering I have only been a “graduate” for the past few months, it’s not something I’m sulking over too much. And in all reality, I miss a lot of things a lot more than college — you know, things like not having to pay back student loans! Read More »

Since my high school boyfriend and I broke up halfway through my senior year, my love life has taken a slide down the tubes. Freshman year of college, every guy I liked turned out to be gay. Sophomore year, they all had girlfriends – with whom I’d inevitably become friends. And junior year, well, I guess it can count as an improvement… if being led on with dining hall dates one semester and having my first (sort of) one night stand (followed by long-term drama) the next semester can be considered an improvement.

Over the past three years, I’ve simply gone from one disappointment to another – and it’s not for lack of trying. Thanks to my double major and my minor, jobs in three different departments, nine student activities, conferences, meetings, competitions, community service projects, and campus events, I’ve met more people than I can fully express. Not to mention going out dancing, the dorms, friends, and other random ways of meeting people. I’ve met undergrads from nearly every department and school on campus, grad students, medical students, MBAs, law students, students from neighboring schools, and people who are already out of school.

And yet, for all the things I do, for all the people I meet, all I have to show from the past three years is a string of stalkers and a guy who let his frat brother hit on me while we were on a date.

One of my friends speculated that the reason I haven’t found anyone yet is because I’m too involved, but I really don’t think that’s the case. I love being active and social, and I’d never change that about myself. Plus, I commit myself to everything I do, so when I’m working on one activity or class or job, that’s what I’m working on. But, even more to the point, I haven’t even met anyone that I really feel connected to either. I flirt, I develop attractions, sure, but no one has really made an impression. And, let’s face it, since I’m going into my senior year, there aren’t many new opportunities about to arise at this point.

For a single, outgoing twenty-one year old, I feel like I’m severely lacking in options. Read More »

Question for La Tuff?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com for answerindos.*

*Offer does not apply on already discounted answers.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

Please help me. My name is Rob and I really wish I had a girlfriend. I try asking girls at parties and get turned down left and right.

I think I might just be incredibly ugly looking or something. The worst part is I have a lot of respect for girls and would never hurt a girl.

I don’t know what to do. I’m going to die alone. Please help.

Rob Read More »

So, it’s been about a month into the semester and you’re suddenly feeling like there’s no light at the end of the social tunnel: no cute boys on your floor or in the apartment next door, no cool new chicks to chat with in your classes.

Now what? Will your whole year end up dull, boring, and steamy romance-free? It’s college lovey, such a thing cannot be!

Sure the guy next door spends more time on his Star Wars video games than he does on his personal hygiene, and yeah, maybe the girls down the hall blast Enrique during your Monday night Bachelor viewing (so not your scene) but that doesn’t mean you’re doomed to a sucky semester.

There are plenty other places on campus to scope out the cute boys and the fun girls. Read More »

While perusing the internet (and looking over my shoulder to make sure no one was watching) during a slow day at work, I came across this fun little article: The Six People You Meet in Bars. The article was funny and slightly true from my limited experiences in the after-college bar scene.

And then I started thinking about the college bar scene. At first, all I could focus on was how amazing it was – the cheep beers, the adorable boys, the cheep beers – but I quickly snapped out of it.

I just miss it so much!

Anyhoo, I began to think about the 6 types of people you meet in college bars. And here you have it:

1. The Popped Collar Boys: You will find these dudes by the bar, making unfunny jokes at very high levels, flirting with the bartenders, macking on cute girls nearby, and racking up an obscene tab on their dad’s credit cards.

They are the most generous guys in the bar, which they need to be to achieve their #1 goal of finding a hot lady to take home.

They sport expensive clothes, travel in packs and either gel their hair or wear their hats cocked 23 degrees up and to the left.

Likes: Pink shirts, girls with big boobs, money, Grey Goose

Dislikes: People who call them out on their douchey-ness, being ignored by the bartender

Upside: Free booze!

Downside: Running your hands through that brittle hair Read More »