Hey Dude,

So I’ve got a BIG problem, and I don’t have any clue what to do. I’ve been dating this guy for almost 8 months, and we’re crazy about each other. We’re basically that couple that’s so in love no one can stand to eat around us. Here’s the problem: I’m fairly certain my ultra conservative, Republican dad is going to hate him. How do I introduce him to the family as someone I am really serious about?

Sincerely,

Dating A Lefty

Dear Dating A Lefty,

Be afraid! Be very afraid! There’s nothing more frightening than taking a boy home to meet the parents, especially when your dad is Glen Beck – I mean Robert DeNiro – I mean Hulk Hogan – I mean…you get the idea. Dad’s and daughters tend to have a certain special bond between them. In your dad’s eyes you’re his little girl, and though he must acknowledge that you’re old enough to be an adult and certainly having relationships with guys, the idea of you having sex CANNOT ever enter his realm of consciousness. It will go unspoken for your entire lives. (Unless you’ve got a really open dad.) And what does the boy you bring home represent? SEX.

So how do you prepare for this momentous event? Well, you have to take care of both sides of the introduction you’re about to make. The one thing that ruins first impressions is a surprise. You’ve got to be totally upfront with your folks about who this guy is, how long you’ve been dating, that you care about him, and basically tell them everything you think they might hate about him BEFORE he shows up. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are arguments to be made against this.

If you point out everything you think your dad may hate, he’ll start looking for them, right? Well, yes. But at the same time you’re diffusing a situation before it becomes a situation. That’s why I recommend full disclosure. And by full disclosure, I mean you have to include how much you care about him, the positive qualities, the fact that it’s serious, and that you want your dad to give him a chance. Being upfront is the best policy.

Be upfront with your boy, too. Let him know he’s walking into a potential mind field. On the one hand you might spook him, but at least he’ll be on his guard and ready for what comes what may.

With both sides knowing what to expect when they meet, there will be less pressure X factors to be concerned with.

At the end of it all, it comes down to a simple handshake between the two men in your life. “Dad, I want you to meet ‘Stormageddon’ and ‘Stormageddon’ I want you to meet my dad,” and they’ll take it from there. All you can do at that point is try to avoid politics for the first couple of interactions and tell your boy to leave his Obama CHANGE shirt back at the dorms.

Bringing Folks Together,

The Dude

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to editor [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]

Which family will we be dining with!?

With Halloween over and done with and Christmas decorations lining hte aisles of my local CVS, it can only mean one thing: holiday season has begun.

But along with the amazingness that is Thanksgiving and Christmas, comes with one big question:

Where the heck am I going to spend the holidays this year?!?!!

With my awesome boyfriend came an awesome family, and they’ve really welcomed me as one of their own. Fortunately, his mom made the question of “Where am I spending Thanksgiving?” easy. She got tickets for herself, her older son, Matt, and myself to go see the Dallas Cowboys game on Thanksgiving day! It’s our early Christmas present and it’s a dream come true for my boyfriend. I mean come on, he’s a guy who grew up in Texas; going to see his favorite team in the new behemoth that is Cowboy’s Stadium is the best Christmas present ever.

So now that I have one holiday checked off my list, what to do about Christmas? While it might seem like a simple answer – we’ve already done one holiday with his family, now it’s time to do one with mine – it’s actually quite tricky. With Matt’s parents divorced we have three options: spend it with my family, spend it with his dad and his family, or spend it with his mom and her family. All 3 are in different states, all three would mean missing out on others, and most would involve one of us meeting the other’s extended family.

Yikes.

So what’s a girl to do? This is all new territory for me and anyone who’s in a serious enough relationship to want to spend the holidays together and adopt one another into their families. I never thought that when I got myself a long term boyfriend I’d have to start sacrificing my holiday traditions or missing out on major family time. I love Matt and his family, but part of me wants to go back to being a kid and go home to my traditions – eating dinner with my family, opening presents with my family, actually seeing my family for the first time in months…

I know this is all just a part of growing up, but I’m really torn. I’ve never spent any major holiday away from my parents, but flying back to see them would cost the two of us almost $600! Is it worth it when we have the option of going somewhere cheaper? But then again, is it fair to keep visiting the BF’s family when mine hasn’t seen us?

Is it time that Matt and I both move past our childhood traditions and start our own?

I’m not sure what to do, but I’m going to have to figure it out fast. It’s already November and the cost of plane tickets just keeps creeping higher and higher. And the fact that Matt and I couldn’t even figure out what to do on Halloween (his friends were having a party, my friends were having a party…) isn’t leaving me much hope that we’ll come to a conclusion anytime soon.

Sigh.
Who knew holidays with a boyfriend would take so much work?!

Anybody else out there with fuzzy holiday plans?