Before paralyzing you, my dear reader, with my cheekiness, I’ll check my sarcasm at the door. While the experience of college is truly a gift, i.e. if one is open to education, willing to forge new friendships, and eager to learn something from their lovers, it is also a tumultuous period in one’s young adult life. Suffice to say, depression is common, and most college students experience varying degrees of this mental illness.

To be sure, the term is overly-used and problematic, just as the term melancholy was exhausted during the 19th century. Nevertheless, that’s not to say depression isn’t real – it most certainly is, and I know a handful of people who thought its symptoms so real, they are no longer alive (incidentally three of them were in college, and one of them shot himself in the library’s bathroom at my school, while I wrote a final paper at my carrel).

There are a lot complicated reasons why college students are susceptible to depression. In order to clarify the complexity of this issue, my first few discussions address environmental forms of depression, which are just as serious as chemical ones.

For starters, if you’re a competitive student and an outgoing person, college can be overwhelmingly demanding. I’m not just talking about your coursework or – if you’re a dork like me – worrying abut your professor, wondering if s/he is enjoying your term paper as you read this blog (but trust me, don’t fret about it – you’re off their radar, unless you’re standing in front of them (impossible since you’re reading my blog, right?)0 Let’s get beyond the mundane, and delve into the meaty stuff.

Let’s face it, you are being pushed hard, challenged to think in new ways, and, therefore, intellectually burdened (that’s not a bad thing). You find yourself reevaluating many beliefs that you’d been raised to think were just plain true. (Unless you were born into an academic family – and that’s not a guarantee either – you’ll most certainly experience these emotional and intellectual tensions). Moreover, if you’ve ventured off into “deconstructionist land,” your head is churning like a Dairy Queen malt-maker, and you find yourself up at night “realizing” that truth does not exist, I have words for you, à la Tony Soprano: “a’ take it eas-eee!.”

Step back from your Derridean texts for a moment, or just your plain ol’ science book, and understand that these sorts of brainy somersaults are a good thing. Sure, it’s scary, uncomfortable, and just weird to push your thoughts in different directions when reading. Plus, it’s also hard to consider someone else’s point of view during a classroom discussion, particularly when you think that the person, who espousing such contrary views, is an idiot, stinky, odd, or simply annoying. But listening to your classmates, regardless of what you think about how they look, how offensive you find their aroma, or whatever, well . . . that’s the “stuff” that makes college worth it.

There are, however, other factors that aren’t directly related to your academics. We’ll investigate those next.

In the meantime, do any of you relate? If so, please share!

That being said, life still just plain sucks sometimes. Whether you’re totally stressed about an upcoming presentation, feel like you haven’t slept in weeks cramming for finals, or are going through a painful breakup with the boy who lives down the hall, it’s inevitable that the blues will creep up on you at some point.

And according to a recent wave of scientists, you should not treat sadness like a horrible disease that needs to be taken care of immediately.

Eric Wilson, author of the new book, Against Happiness, argues that our culture has a fixation on happiness, and fosters “a craven disregard for the value of sadness” and “its integral place in the great rhythm of the cosmos.”

Okay, so the whole “rhythm of the cosmos” thing sounds a little odd, but hear me out.

After going through my recent breakup, everyone told me that I needed to go out and meet lots of people and have tons of fun. Which is all fine and great. But, for awhile, I just really didn’t feel like it. I would go out till all hours of the morning and end up drunk, exhausted, and more upset than I was to begin with. How was this helping me?

It wasn’t. So, I shifted my thinking on it and just did what I wanted to, no matter what that was. If I felt a bit down and wasn’t in the mood to have a crazy night out, I didn’t. I stayed in and read or watched a movie or hung out with a friend that was opting out of the night also. I talked about how I felt or just let myself feel melancholy without rushing out to somehow numb that feeling. And the progress I’ve made doing it this way instead of the old routine is amazing.

Wilson isn’t the only guy to come up with this theory fighting against our obsession with happiness. There are a number of researchers that have been looking into the actual value of sadness and there is a great article in Newsweek that details all of their findings.

My favorite explanation of this whole movement comes from a piece on newser.com. “But like all emotions, melancholy has an evolutionary purpose, driving exploration and change,” it says.

I LOVE that idea. It is when you actually let yourself feel sadness or melancholy that you can then grow, change, and learn something.

Give it a shot, let me know how it goes, and remember, it can’t be any worse than that splitting headache you will feel the morning after trying to forget your sadness by drinking alcohol like it’s water.

I don’t own a card store. I’ve never dated anyone who’d be pulling diamonds out of his pocket, and it’s always been strange to me that we need certain days to prove we love one another.

Sorry about being a screwup for 364 days, honey. Here’s some chocolates and a bear. Let’s make up.

ANYway, all annoyance aside, I’m aware that there are other opinions about February 14th. Some people love this day. Seriously. Can’t get enough. And other people…?

Well, they use it as an excuse to lie on their bed, stare at the ceiling, eat a box of chocolates all themselves, and go all melancholy about why they have no one.

If you’re one of these, have I got the mix for you.

Below is a list of songs guaranteed to help those tears, and dear god whys?!, flow.

Compromise (be a poet about it) – Edie Carey

Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely – Backstreet Boys

To The Bone – Deb Talan

Bruised – Ben Folds

I Can’t Make You Love Me – Bonnie Raitt

I Don’t Blame You – Cat Power

Never is A Promise – Fiona Apple

Mad World – Gary Jules

The Heart of the Matter – India Arie (cover)

Nicest Thing – Kate Nash

Irvine – Kelly Clarkson

Walk By – Meiko

You Just Forgot – Mindy Smith

I Wish I Was the Moon – Neko Case

Someone Else’s Tomorrow – Patty Griffin

Empty – Ray LaMontagne

Going to a Town – Rufus Wainwright

Didn’t We Almost Have it All – Whitney Houston

Forever Blue – Chris Isaak

That’s all I dare put down for now. Don’t want to mess your shit up too badly.

Got any suggestions for this Valentine’s-Day-is-Hell mix? Let us know!