We’ve all seen it.  The singer-turned-actor crossover move that has critics telling stars time and time again not to quit their day jobs. But in Ashlee Simpson’s case, I’m not sure what day job she has to fall back on. Now that she has been fired from Melrose Place, I think Ashlee should take a long look at her life’s work before she makes her next career move.

Let’s face facts: the girl can’t sing. We all remember when she blamed acid reflux for her Milli-Vanilli-esque stunt on Saturday Night Live in 2004. I think the entire world breathed a sigh of relief when Ashlee claimed she might never be able to sing again. (Could she ever?) What happened to that? I could have done without the “Bittersweet World” album. Me and the three other people who purchased it demand our money back. (And my dignity having just admitted to buying that…)

So perhaps singing wasn’t her forte. In a bold move, Ashlee decided to try her hand at acting. Melrose Place was a big undertaking, I give her that much. But honestly, while she may have been promising in her small role on 7^th Heaven, whatever talent she had then seems to have dissipated in a sea of plastic surgery and hair extensions. Besides, if Heather Locklear says she’s gotta go, then the girl’s gotta go.

But the good news here is, no one really watches Melrose Place anyway. If you’re going to crash and burn, for the millionth time, at least the whole world isn’t going to be there to point and laugh at you. Even Jessica called the show crap. But then again, what does she know? Her last acting job was a movie called “Major Movie Star.”

I’m deeply sorry for your loss, Ashlee. It looks like plastic surgery isn’t a career-saver after all.

Jessica Simpson’s got beef with the CW.

How does the First Family do Halloween?

What’s the best sandwich in the USA?

Are ponchos coming back?

Is LiLo switching teams again?

This might be the most disturbing thing I’ve seen all day.

Um, Justin Timberlake and Rihanna? WTF?

Forget scrunchies – use your undies!

Heather Locklear’s back at Melrose Place.

Healthy hair will save your life.

How to date without the booze.

K-Fed got fat…to make a couple bucks.

What will come of our favorite TV couple!?

After three entire months of reruns, and crappy MTV-I-need-a-girlfriend-and-a-life reality shows, I am more than ready for the new fall lineup, which starts this week!

In addition to our old favorites whose finales left us on the edge of our couches with mouths open and ice cream dripping on our PJs, there are a slew of new shows that are totally worth tuning into this fall.

We know it’s hard to get back into your nightly TV schedules, so we complied a guide for the must-see fall TV!

Our Returning favorites:

Gossip Girl (The CW): Monday , September 14, 8pm

Do I even have to recap? Jenny takes over as queen bee; Blair, Dan, and Vanessa head off to NYU (where conniving Georgina comes to stir up more trouble); and Serena is headed off to Europe to find her father? Let’s just leave it at OMFG, shall we?

Grey’s Anatomy (ABC): Thursday, September 24^th, 8pm, ABC

So unfortunately, no one can keep a secret these days and word leaked over the summer that it is in fact George (T.R. Knight) who will be leaving the cast. But that doesn’t change the fact that viewers have an emotion packed premiere, which features a funeral bound to be heart wrenching for us die-hard fans.

Heroes (NBC): Monday, September 21, 8 pm

Who isn’t obsessed with this show? It has taken over Facebook statuses all over the internet. The season finale left us on the edge with a new killer in town, Nathan dead and Sylar and Nathan are one! In the premiere we will see this unfold, as well as Matt and Janice getting another chance at raising their super-power baby.

The Office (NBC): Thursday, September 17, 9 pm

If you haven’t been a fan, it’s not too late to start. The show is super easy to get into, and once your hooked you’ll have plans for the next 3 weekends catching up on old seasons. There were hints in the season finale of a possible pregnancy and we hear Michael’s love interest Holly isn’t out of the picture.

90210 (The CW): Tuesday, September 8, 8 pm

It’s not going to be on the Emmy ballot anytime soon, but it’s become one of our guilty pleasures. In the finale we were left wondering who has caught Annie drunk driving and running someone off the road. Plus the season premiere is full of new hookups, what more could we ask for?

ANTM (The CW): Wednesday, September 9, 8 pm

Here’s to another season of beautiful aspiring models, apartment catfights, and hoping one screws up enough to induce a Girl-no-you-didn’t-let-me-take-my-jewelry-off Tyra smack down.

New Shows!

Melrose Place (The CW): Tuesday, September 8, 9 pm

Sure it’s like a fusion of GG and 90210 in a grown up world, but it’s another one of those shows that will pop up everywhere, so none of us want to be out of the loop. Plus, who doesn’t want to see Ashley Simpson nosedive in the acting arena, or, less likely, surprise us with actually having an ounce of talent? I know I’ll be watching.

The Beautiful Life (The CW): Wednesday, September 16, 9 pm

All you OC fans get ready; Mischa Barton is back in a new drama set around a group of models sharing a home in NYC.

The Vampire Diaries (The CW): Thursday September 10, 8 pm

This show needs no introduction or, really, a plot line at all now that we think about it. Give us a gorgeous, blood-sucking star and we’re happy. But even better for viewers, the acting and storyline look promising. After the cyclone that was Twilight, this is bound to be a hit.

Glee (Fox): Wednesday, September 16, 8 pm

We were already given a glimpse of the show with its first episode in the spring, and we liked what we saw. A lot. A more sophisticated High School Musical with catchy tunes and there are already a slew of guest stars set to join the season including Eve and Kristen Chenoweth.

Modern Family (ABC): Wednesday, September 23, 9 pm

Who couldn’t use a little AL Bundy in their lives? This comedy has been deemed “hilarious” by critics and has that fresh, off-the-cuff office feel. We’re definitely giving it a chance!

What other series premieres are you guys dying to tune into this month?

Jessica Alba makes me hate myself in Elle.

Is David Beckham cheating on Posh?!

Rihanna takes a break from Chris Brown.

Exercise to make the best of your body shape.

Beware of the reality TV scam.

Who said there aren’t any jobs out there?

Fergie makes cute shoes!

Save money. Brew your own beer!

What does your future look like? Tyra knows.

Lisa Rinna really wants to get back on TV.

Shiny lips and skinny hips? Huh?

Wait, Melrose Place is coming back? And Ashlee Simpson is joining the cast?!

Three words: Ryan Gosling hot.

DJ AM is cursed with airplanes.

OPI releases their new spring colors!

Dating tips for Meghan McCain.

Beyonce is shiny.

Matt Damon. In spandex.

Northwestern Dance Marathon raises over $900,000!

How much sex is enough sex?

Forget Forever 21; Francesca’s Collection rocks.

Leighton Meester is the new face of Reebok.

Miley’s first photo shoot was…slutty.

Melrose Place 2.0 is coming.

Build a fashionable wardrobe on the cheap.

OMG! What if his parents don’t like you!?

Colleges begging for bailout.

Some old dude won Survivor last night.

Give your skin the gift of soybeans.

One university found the ultimate stress reliever for students.

Michael Phelps likes boobs. Clearly.

Woman gets creative on the job hunt.

Botox is the second most popular prescription drug, after Viagara, and women have become addicted to the procedure. Lisa Rinna, former Melrose Place star, told In Touch that after seeing pictures of herself she realized she has gone “too far” with her surgical procedures. Ya think? She looks like a mannequin who can’t smile or blink. Freak! We all know the other celebs who are rumored to have the procedure done frequently, like Cher, Sly Stallone, Courtney Cox, Joan Rivers, Nicole Kidman, and the list goes on and on and on.

Caution: There are dangers out there! Botox isn’t something that should be debated over mildly. Here a few facts to help you in your debate to be stuck with the needle or not.

• In a recent study, an active Botox toxin was injected into rats and after 72 hours the toxin was found in the rats’ brain. This is scary, especially since the toxin broke down proteins and caused damage in the brain!
• The same toxin injected in the rats, botulinum toxin, has been found in humans who receive Botox injections and it spread to other parts of the body which has resulted in paralysis of respiratory muscles and difficulty swallowing.
• Please know that the side effects have been reported as early as one day and as late as several weeks after treatment.
• There were 16 deaths prior to January 2008. Enough said.
• There are also minor side effects, like dizziness, rashes, bruising, tiredness, headache, stiffness, etc.
• Do not rush into any decisions. Have a consultation with the dermatologist and then go home and think about the procedure. Do your research!

Happy Tuesday! No, I am normally not this chipper on a Tuesday morning, even if it is warmer than yesterday’s one degree. Yes, one. In fact, I’m was still feeling rather crabby and I-Hate-This-Cruel-Cold-World for the first few hours of my day (having broken a nail while trying to open my car door that was frozen shut), until I began sipping on my third cup of coffee and reading this.

Check out that loooong list of shows that will be coming back now that the writers have returned to work. Granted, they really didn’t get everything they want and will probably be doing this whole strike thing again in 3 years, but being an American, I am all about the here and now. And here and now is looking quite good with our favorite shows coming back to TV.

“Now” being a relative term.

Since most shows aired every last episode they could when the strike first began it is going to take some time to shoot/edit before the shows can actually return to the lineup. So “now” actually means “April” for most of my favorite shows. But April is better than never, which is how I thought things were going to end up.

Oh, and SNL could be back as early as this weekend; months of pent up creativity could mean some really great skits…for the first time in like 5 years.

This also means that we will be entertained further into the summer months than during a typical year! Rainy day, here I come. I don’t have to rely on reruns of Melrose Place on SoapNet to get me through those too-cold-to-swim summer days this year.

Now, like the article says, all this information can change, so be sure to keep checking back. After months of waiting patiently you don’t want to miss the return of quality programming.