Last week a few of y’all called me out for waving my cynicism flag. Fair enough — at times I can be bitter. We each of us have our sore spots. But this week our topic is a bit more upbeat, so I’ll try to keep the sardonic barbs to a minimum. The thing about writing a weekly column such as this is that it can very easily denigrate into a downright b*tch-fest if you let it. B*tching and moaning each week about the follies and foibles of men can be disheartening and, ultimately, unproductive. So, when contemplating this week’s topic, I decided to take a slightly different view of things. I could punch out a diatribe demanding more cunnilingus and begging for more compliments, but that’s not truly what I want more of from men. So let’s take a look: What do I really want?

-I want more of the good things. All those good things you do? Yeah, I want more.

-I want more nights when we stay up until 5am, talking and laughing.

-I want more of those drunken deep-and-meaningfuls that end in companionable silence and general contentment.

-I want more impromptu dinner dates at the cheap Asian place that turn into hours spent sipping 2-for-1 cocktails, making witty social observations that grow wittier as the night progresses.

-I want more rainy afternoons cuddled on the couch with that movie you said I’d like. I denied it at first, but you’re right, I did like it.

-I want more walks that were ill-advised (flip-flops weren’t made for hiking), but turned out to be the best fun I’d had in a long time.

-I want more of those nice things you say when I’m down, when I self-doubt, when I’m feeling low on confidence.

-I want more of your perspective on life’s problems. Your blunt, to-the-point summations of a crap situation tend to cut through all the layers of anxiety I’ve built up. The clarity is welcome, trust me — sometimes women can’t see the woods for all the trees.

-I want more of those reality checks you give me when I need to be taken down a few notches. Sometimes I need to be told when I’m being an asshole, and if I don’t appreciate it at the time, I certainly do later.

When it comes down to it, fellas, you’re doing a good job. I know us gals aren’t easy to put up with all the time, and we can be hard to please. Maybe we don’t show it or tell you enough, but we really, really appreciate all the good things you do. Men in our lives — be they boyfriends, friends, brothers, fathers or eccentric uncles — make us laugh, comfort us when we’re down, give the best hugs and show us that sweetness and romance are not yet dead, however cynical we might be. So thanks, guys, for all the good things you do. Give us more of the good and we’ll give you the best of us.

Wanna hear what he wishes you would do more? (God help us.) Head on over to COEDMagazine to find out!

[Lead image by aprilante/Shutterstock]

Most of us have engaged in the verbal debate at some point. Most likely over a game of beer pong, when a guy makes that common assumption that boys are simply tougher than girls. We then launch into defense mode, listing off reasons why women are a hundred times tougher than men. It always ends in the same statement: “well men don’t have to go through labor!”

End of fight. (Hopefully you sink your next throw to send the point home).

An Australian TV anchor wanted to end this feud once and for all so he agreed to be put into simulated labor (with a machine that sends electric currents through the abdomen which feel like contraction pains). Needless to say, after only three hours he called it quits (mind you, most women are in labor for an average of 10-12 hours), concluding, “Women win. Men don’t.”

Finally, we are getting the credit we deserve. But honestly, we knew he never stood a chance. Of course men can’t handle labor! They can’t handle most of the things women put up with on a daily or monthly basis. Men could never handle being women, period.

Menstruation

Let’s just get the most obvious out of the way. Men have no freakin’ clue, and no words can communicate how much our monthly gift sucks. Men turn into little boys crying for mommy when they get the sniffles, yet we can expect to feel like someone is slicing our uterus out with a chainsaw and ripping it through our vagina every month. Not to mention that we then either walk around wearing a diaper for a week, or shove a compact tube of toilet paper up our vaginas. Do either of these sound like good options to you, men? Didn’t think so.

Grooming

Men run a comb through their hair, a razor over their faces (if it’s a special occasion), and that’s that. Women have a laundry list of things that aren’t even options. Sure we could walk around with bushy eyebrows and leg hair long enough to braid, but we would be hippie tree-huggers, European or just dirty. Either way, we wouldn’t be getting much love. Our morning ritual includes a leg shave, an armpit shave, and plucking the strays from our brow. And I have two more words for you: bikini wax. Pure hell.

Hormones

It’s not our faults that we cry every time we see The Notebook, or that we get fuming mad for apparently no reason. Women have to deal with crazy hormones that are cycling all over the place, leaving us emotional and a bit bi-polar at times. Your hormones make you horny; ours take us on an emotional roller coaster…it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to pick out which is worse and which can simply be cured with a magazine and a bottle of Jergens.

Clothes

We love being girls; we love dressing up and we love fashion. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. We have to shimmy into tight dresses, suck it all in until we pass out to get our Spanxx over our thighs and walk around with dental floss between our butt cheeks to prevent panty lines. And I’d like to challenge the Australian TV host to a heel-off. I bet he doesn’t last one block in a pair of stilettos.

Birth Control

You think the “loss of sensation” from a condom is bad? Try weight gain, mood swings, breakouts and tender breasts that come with The Pill.You have no idea.

Sex

Yes, it’s amazing. Yes, we love it. No, it is not always comfortable. No matter how enjoyable it ends up being, you are still shoving a cucumber through a quarter-sized hole. (Editor’s Note: If you’re lucky. But even a gherkin hurts…) We know you have your share of problems being the plug, but it isn’t easy peesy being the outlet.

What else about being a girl do you get think a guy could never endure?

[This story was originally posted by Brianna - Fordham University.]

The opinions were strong and varied and led to an eighty comment debate on the appropriate way to wax your pubic area, if there even is an appropriate way to do that. So with all that backlash, we thought it might be a good idea to create a post that attempts to dive into some of these issues as well as attempt to determine why such a personal choice has become such a public issue at all.

So really, we’re not answering any of your questions, we’re just trying to understand them. This post is not trying to sway you one way or the other. I’m just laying out some differing opinions and creating a forum for discussion. And I thought the best way to do that would be to go straight to your comments. So why is this such a big issue? Why do women have such differing opinions on it? And should we even be attempting to justify something that we ourselves have called medieval torture?  Let’s find out.

Comment # 1: Shaving down there is no worse than shaving ur legs or ur arm pits for that matter. It’s all in what u (as a woman) like. 

Can it be that simple? Can it be as easy as girls, to do what you want to do because you want to do it, whether that means living with an entire forest or going bare. Be comfortable and confident in your decision and just go with it. Don’t worry about what other men or women think. It’s a nice thought, but that’s easier said than done, especially after reading comments like the one below.

Comment #2:  Shaven is the best. Anyone who says anything else is lying. men love it and if women do it, the men will be better men.

The question every woman asks herself about pretty much everything. Am I doing this because I want to or because I know it’s what someone else wants and I’ve convinced myself it’s what I want to? Is that what something like this comes down to? A secret voice telling you that this is what the guy wants? Or for some women is that voice less secret. They openly hate it,  but choose to do it anyway. Is that okay? Or should we be saying…

Comment # 3: Any man who will be a “better man” if his girlfriend shaves down there is a total douche.

This comment raises a good point. If that’s what it takes to get the guy is it worth it? Aren’t we always saying if a man doesn’t like you for you who are then he’s not the man for you. Is this the same sort of situation? Should women really feel pressured to wax their pubic hair? I mean with comments like the above how can women not feel pressured to do so, and if that’s the case, how can we stand for it?

And finally, one last issue to address.

Comment # 4: Why are women being advised to go hairless like a child? That is really gross and nasty. I understand no one wants a wild forest but hairless is too much like a pedophile’s dream.

Is it the Brazilian bikini wax that’s giving all waxing a bad name? And is that bad name justified? Does going bare make women seem childlike? Is it indulging pedophilia? And if one gets a normal wax instead of a Brazilian does that take this issue off the table?

This is obviously a very complicated issue that requires we take a lot of different things into consideration. But I doubt most of you spend you time contemplating the question: to wax or not to wax, and if you wax how much should you wax.

So here’s your chance. Leave a comment and let us know what you think and why you feel that way

[After four years of writing in our undies, we've accumulated a lot of great content on CollegeCandy. I realized this when I was reading the site the other night....also in my undies. So many awesome posts get forgotten, so we decided it was time to bring 'em back. So kick off your pants, kick up your feet and enjoy.]

I love dudes. Straight up, dudes are amazing with their tallness and deep voices and facial hair and whatnot. I even like their ability to eat astounding amounts of food and their random, dorky humor. There are so many awesome things about guys that girls in general just don’t have.

However, there are some things that girls have that guys should just stay away from. These things mostly exist in the realm of fashion (and make-up, but we won’t go there because dudes should not wear make-up, period. We’re talking to you, Adam Lambert). Here is the list of the most heinous fashion crimes committed by the male population.

Get it? Got it? Good. Want some more? Don’t worry, there are plenty more faves where this came from.

I don’t need to tell you what a whore is.  In fact, you have probably already seen the bottom half of her ass sticking out of her way-too-short “dress.”  She’s the one slurring her words at the club or messing around in the upper bedroom at the house party. We all know what she is (not) wearing and whom she has slept with. Now the more important question is: how do we avoid being her?

The difference between the girl with a remarkable man and the girl with a remarkable number of STDs manifests itself in a woman’s character. Of course too much cleavage and sexual activity can also play into this realm of whoredom, but these aspects are not nearly as important as how a sexy woman carries herself. To be sexy (and not whore-y), a woman has to be filled with playfulness, sexual entendres/innuendos, and mystery. In short, she must master the art of the tease.

Mastering Playfulness:

A tease doesn’t need to rock a mid-drift and sky-high heels to get attention. (She gets too much of it already.)  Instead, she gains and maintains a man’s attention through extreme amounts of playfulness. This can take place in numerous scenarios. Simply by turning her body, making eye contact, and smiling, she has already made the first move.  If the man has enough guts, he will approach her. It’s just that simple.

After obtaining a man’s interest, a tease walks the fine line between approachable and unobtainable. Think: “Sure you can flirt me, but that doesn’t mean you’re going home with me.” This can be accomplished through coy behavior and the right amount of provoking. Put him down a little. Make harmless fun of him. Warning: it is important to do this about meaningless topics (like his favorite football team or love for girlie martinis, not his baby beer gut or the way his ears stick out), maintain a smile, and keep an “I’m just kidding,” attitude the entire time. The goal is not to piss the guy off, but to encourage him to play along.

You’re from Italy? Oh, you know what they say about Italians, don’t you?

[These are best played with a little push or nudge to add physical contact.]

Mastering Sexual Entendres & Innuendos:

The English language is filled with suggestive vocabulary. From “large” and “hard” to “wet” and “fast”, words with double meanings are great for throwing into casual conversation. A tease wants to imply “sex” without explicitly saying anything about it. It is vital to leave him wondering: “Did she mean to refer that or am I just imagining it?”

What are you doing tonight? You know I am always up for anything.

Overall, the point is to get the man thinking of sex without knowing you are thinking the same thing. But make sure to keep a balance. If you start coming off as too forward, make sure to mention that you are going to a baseball game with Steve later in the week, “forget” to answer one of his text messages, or leave early in a conversation. Men like competition and it is always important for a tease to leave before she is left.

Will you excuse me for a second? My friend, John, just walked in and I need to go say hello.

[Constantly switching from sexual flirtation and pulling away will keep him wanting more!]

Mastering Mystery:

Never give too much away! The more secrets a woman appears to have, the more interesting she becomes. This can be accomplished by refusing to give complete answers to questions or by returning his questions back to him.

I had a dream about you last night. I can’t tell you about it here. But it was a good dream!

Generally, a tease wants to leave most of the work to his imagination. If she is showing off the girls, she’ll cover up with some blue-jeans. If she is rocking her legs, she’ll cover up with a conservative top. Nothing is ever too-low, too-short, or too-explicit. A tease wants to leave a man needing to see more of her. She is Alluring. Confident. Sexy.

But definitely, absolutely not a whore.

But morning lovin’ isn’t the only thing I’m confused about; I think everything related to sex turns my mind to mush. And just when I’ve stopped trying to figure out what guys are thinking and finally come to terms with the fact that dudes and chicks think differently about sex and emotions, I find out that maybe we’re all not so different after all. I mean, who knew that guys are often worse than us ladies when it comes to Facebook stalkin‘ potential booty/lovers/significant others?

Hello, curve ball. Thanks for making things worse.

But with all that said, maybe trying to understand guys is pointless. A waste of time and energy. Especially when they seem so set on being mysterious and confusing. Maybe there really is no trick to getting what you want. Perhaps, starting a relationship is easier than we thought…and like usual we’re over-thinking everything.

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HAPPY OFFICIAL FIRST DAY OF WINTER!

It’s hard to remember when you’re spending half of your day bundling up in the thickest, warmest, heaviest things you own just to walk outside to get the mail, but it’s is the most wonderful time of the yearrrrrrrr! Yes, really. Andy Williams was not lying when he gleefully belted out the season’s staple song back in the 1960s, and his holiday tune still rings true today. Even if it takes my hands a full 7 minutes to warm up after being outside.

Winter is one of the best seasons for a multitude of reasons that I just don’t have enough time (or Redbull) to list. But, because I need to share the gloriousness of this beloved season, I compiled the top 10 reasons why winter beats summer, spring, and fall’s seasonal asses every year.

[Click on any image to view the slideshow.]

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Harry Potter cast learns to speak American

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If this isn’t a prank, it’s the worst thing ever

Nerds are all the rage

Guess who is having a boy!

Jake G is topless. Say no more.

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Dina Lohan needs to get a grip

Things men looovvee about women

Remember this star??

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