When I walk into class every morning in my carefully planned outfit, complete with meticulously-matched accessories, it really disappoints me to see all the boys looking – how shall I put this? – less than stellar. If Cher was not expected to swoon over baggy pants and a backwards cap, than neither am I. Nor should I melt for crusty armpit stains, shower sandals (and long, nasty toenails), or eye boogers that have yet to be removed.

After living on a college campus and experiencing countless pairs of basketball shorts paired with mac-and-cheese-stained hoodies, I had completely lost hope that boys know how to dress.

And then I saw this. Read More »

Forever a dreamer, I have lived through movies. I wanted to change the bad boy like Reese Witherspoon in Cruel Intentions. I wanted a wardrobe like Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada. And mostly, I wanted to dance my way to sex like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing (and not in the frat party/grinding sorta way).

Keep dreaming, right?

However, after spending lots of time analyzing my favorite movies, I’ve realized that it’s not so hard for the everyday man to create a movie moment in everyday life. Sure, finding a Leonardo DiCaprio to sketch my naked body on a sinking ship might be hard (and not ideal considering the ending), but many of the most romantic gestures in movies aren’t so hard to manage, even without a script: Read More »

"Oh, I'm kicking that guy's ass? Poor guy..."

There are some things you should always apologize for, like being late to meet a friend, bumping into someone on the street, or accidentally running over your ex-boyfriend’s foot with your car (whoops).

But there are also some things that, as a woman, you shouldn’t have to say sorry for.  I don’t care what anyone says, but you should not be left feeling guilty for any of the following.

Beating a Guy at Sports: Sunk the winning shot in a battle of the sexes?  Poker faced your way to a win?  We’ve all been told not to beat men at sports so we don’t bruise their precious egos, but this is also not 1950, so don’t hold back and don’t apologize.

Bypassing Lines at Clubs: Don’t let the haters have you giving looks of remorse as the velvet ropes are lifted.  Flaunt it if you’ve got it! Read More »

This Week’s Article: Reverse Emasculating Trends by askmen.com.

This week’s article warns men to get rid of emasculating trends in their relationship. I didn’t realize this was such a problem, but apparently men are being emasculated from coast to coast and someone at AskMen thinks it needs to stop.

And he means business.

The article puts men in their place right from the start: “When women emasculate us, it’s often because we let them do it. Our wives don’t want to think of us as anything less than men — they only think about us like that when we act like that. All those emasculating trends in our relationships, we’re complicit in them. If you no longer feel like the man of the house, it’s at least partly your fault.”

Of course, showing any signs of having an actual human soul will lead your girlfriend to see you as a girly child and treat you as such. If you’re not pounding your chest and tearing the flesh off a dead zebra, something is very, very wrong with you. And your lady hates it.

Let’s see what the “men” at AskMen advises the boys to do: Read More »

Ladies, if you ever get the feeling that guys are always staring at you, it’s probably not paranoia. According to a recent study, men spend 43 minutes of their day ogling women, many of them up to 10 girls a day. That equals a year over their lifetime.

That’s a lot of drool.

But I suppose it’s unfair to talk about men with roving eyes when the study also mentions women’s habits. It found that women ogle men for 20 minutes a day (six months of their lives) and up to six men each day. Now, I can definitely attest to that, having been guilty of eying hunky specimens on many an occasion in the past, but at least I’m not wasting as much time as the dudes.

Guys really dedicate a lot of time to checking out girls. Think about it. Men spend a year ogling women. A year. That’s a lot of time to do anything, let alone look at someone’s chest/butt (or “eyes,” as they’d like you to think). Although it is spread out over the course of a lifetime, imagine what a man could do with one extra year’s worth of time on his hands? On second thought, I’d rather not.

Here’s another thought: If men spend 43 minutes of the day looking at women, then how much time do they spend on other daily activities? Read More »

I had just gotten out of a long relationship and immediately hopped into the sack with a new guy (…what? I needed some emotional support!) when I decided to change my birth control prescription. I had never really been happy with the old one, but had put off changing because I didn’t want to deal with the whole spotting issue with my BF around. So now, I reasoned, since the new guy and I were taking things slower, it would be a good time to make the switch.

Well, of course, taking it slow only lasts until somebody gets horny (or drunk), so a few days after I made the pill switch I found myself rolling around naked with my new beau. Everything was going fine – great, in fact – when he whispers in my ear excitedly “wow, you’re really wet!”

For just a second I was proud of myself for my impressive lubricative prowess (yes, it takes very little to make me proud) when suddenly he just stopped. He looked up at me worriedly and asked if I was OK. Confused, I looked down to see what he meant and almost had a panic attack. The spotting I had been worried about had started… all over his groin. Read More »

Instead of educating myself with the help of intellectual books, I have spent my whole life devouring romance novel after romance novel, missing out on some much-needed sleep and creating completely unrealistic expectations about men and love.

After spending ten years with guys named Damien and Chace who lock eyes with a woman across the room, embark on rocky waters, and finally end up in paradise with the one and only person who could make them change their playboy ways, I began to crave a bit of reality in my life.

After all, how many men could there possible be with the “largest piece of manhood she’d ever seen,” who were also rich, gorgeous, and emotionally accessible only to me?

Yeah, it was time for a heaping tablespoon of reality and Jane Green served it to me. Narrated by Tasha, a woman who sleeps with men to overcome her emotional issues Straight Talking “sets the record straight regarding the real world of dating,” and deals with real people and real problems that people who date in real life encounter. Tasha and her three best friends mimic the Sex and the City group, meeting up for weekly get-togethers and dishing on their latest men.  However, their men mirror ones encountered in reality.  They date salesmen and accountants, not professional athletes and sexy policemen.  They stumble upon issues like sexual intimacy and picking between Mr. Right and Mr. So-Hot-It-Hurts.  Their stories mesh together to create a novel that any type of girl can relate to, from thel hook-up-every-night chick to the one saving yourself for marriage gal.

Tasha’s flashbacks on past relationships allow readers to see how even the most seemingly insignificant of men leave a lasting mark on a woman’s outlook towards dating and love, and how even a small three-month relationship can break your heart.  If you have ever felt like crying in the middle of class or stared at your cell phone wondering why somebody hasn’t called you, Green’s characters empathize as they try to outsmart the men who have all the tools to break their hearts.  She looks at heartbreak, friendship, and sex the way that real people do.  Read More »

I hate my exes. Mostly because I’m not even sure I can call them my exes. You see, in the world of the eternally single, you rack up a lot of blurry relationships with people. We go on dates, but we’re not dating. We’re dating, but we’re not together. We’re together, but he’s not my boyfriend. We make out every Tuesday, Thursday, and third Friday of the month, but that’s it.

It’s bad enough when it’s occurring, but when the sordid, undefinable tryst ends…you don’t even know how to bitch about them! Man, that “guy who I used to sometimes make out with (and one time I think we went on a date, but it was only kind of a date because we didn’t refer to it as one)… really sucks.” God. It takes up more effort than the half assed relationship ever did.

The worst of it followed me out this week. Earlier in the summer, I had become interested in (obsessed with) a cute, smart, funny dude I had met while I was out. I gave him my number, and we ended up hanging out (making out) a few times. I started to get frustrated when I realized the extent of our hanging out was us making out, so I finally grew a metaphorical pair and told the horny jerk off. And of course with my luck, two days after I stand up for myself by acting like a crazy bitch, I run into him while I’m out with friends. And I thought Chicago was supposed to be a LARGE city…do I need to move to Hong Kong? Read More »

I know where you are right now, Little Miss Single. Because I used to be there, too. You’re sad you don’t have a boyfriend. Your friends are going on double and triple dates, and you’re still sitting by your phone waiting for your last ditch effort at romance to call. But why is a boyfriend so essential? For as progressive and liberal we like to think we are as a society, it seems our love for single people is limited to “Sex and the City.” Sure, it’s cool when fictional characters do it, but let’s call it for what it is; it seems like the single gal in the group is usually pitied or looked down upon.

I’ve had friends tell me things ranging from, “It’s okay…you’ll be happy one day” (because obviously the only way to be happy is to get a man) to “I’m sick of defending your slutty ways” (awww you’re such a sweet friend). Why does casual dating get such a bad rap? It’s not like I go out every Friday night in a hot pink tube dress and ride a mechanical bull until a group of frat boys takes me home for a gang bang. Well, not every Friday, anyways.

Moving on… Read More »

Foreskin may be the only uncharted territory Americans have no desire to conquer. In our country, circumcision is common enough that a foreskin-free penis is the expectation, but elsewhere, that’s hardly the case. Though it remains the most common elective operation globally, the majority of men in the world don’t undergo it. Surprised? Dismayed? Completely alarmed that you can no longer take a European lover?

Don’t be.

The ever-proper Charlotte York may have once compared an uncut penis to a shar pei, but there’s no reason why you should be repulsed by foreskin.

Countless girlfriends of mine cringe at the thought of penises au natural, but my own varied sexual experiences have familiarized me with the lesser known peen and I’m on a mission to demystify it. Here’s some good news to start: uncut penises are pretty much the same as their counterparts. And yet, Americans and those with less colorful sexual pasts continue to treat foreskin as something of an anomaly and even a defect. I’ve isolated foreskinphobia into a few easily identifiable (and refutable) myths: Read More »