This Week’s Article: How To Trick Your Girlfriend Into Marrying You on ehow.com.

This week’s article explains how men can trick their girlfriend into marrying them. I think we can all agree tricking someone into marrying you is not a good idea, and I’m not sure why some guy needs to rope some chick into being his wife, but I never claimed to understand the mind of a man. If I did, well, we wouldn’t be here, would we?

Let’s see what these “men” have to say.

EHow says: “When you learn how to trick your girlfriend into marrying you, then you don’t have to stress going after the women of your dreams. Now all you have to do is find her and play the game until your wedding day.”

I say: Well, that explains it. Men need to trick women into marrying them so they don’t have to deal with being rejected by people they actually like. Awesome. Way to go, guys. I think it’s safe to say than any sane woman should never, ever marry someone who is “playing the game,” but some guys just play it oh. so. well. Especially thanks to guides like these ones. Read More »

This Week’s Article: Why Do Single Women Like Taken Men? by askmen.com.

This week’s article lists a number of reasons why women are (supposedly) attracted to taken men. Let’s see what they have to say…

AskMen says: “In the Garden of Eden, Eve sinks her teeth into the one piece of fruit that God instructed her to avoid — so began a long line of women who wanted, oh so badly, what they could not have.”

I Say: Actually, I’m pretty sure Eve convinced Adam to eat the forbidden fruit instead of biting into it herself. Nevertheless, I don’t really find bible references to be the most accurate explanations of human behavior.

AskMen Says: “Significant others are a reflection of the people they date. That’s why it’s in a girl’s best interest to act like her boyfriend’s PR rep: to mention whenever possible that he studied at Harvard — oh, and he plays in a band. When she boasts, her listeners see him through the rose-colored glasses that she wears.”

I Say: Of coarse, the only way women can make themselves seem like decent human beings to to boast to others about the great things their boyfriend does. Read More »

This week’s article: How to Control and Dominate Your Woman by stevenmiller on advice.com.

This article is nothing but a load of misogynistic crap about women being submissive to men. It open’s with: “Women like to be controlled and dominated. Don’t fool yourself into believing that they don’t. They do… Secretly all women desire to submit to the will of their man.”

Of course, he is sure to include a disclaimer: “First off, I’m not promoting any man to beat any woman. You can dominate her without putting the “smack down” on her.” That’s right boys, stick to verbally abusing your women, please.

And it only gets worse – much, much worse – from there.

How should a man respond when a women is nagging him? Because that’s all we ever do, right?
Miller suggests saying the following:  “WOMAN! Last time I checked I was the one with the penis in this house. You better go in that kitchen and get my dinner on the table!” Miller goes on to explain that if she tries to talk back and argue, “just shake your head no and point to the kitchen. She’ll get the message. By doing this you will subconsciously reinforce the fact that you are the dominant one in the household. You’re the man and your word is the only one that counts in the end.”
I say: Is this guy for real? Does he honestly think any self-respecting woman is going to just scurry off to the kitchen because the man with the penis said so? Read More »

While searching for bad advice articles for this week’s column, I came (teehee) across one article that I loved so much I had to share it with all of you. The article is about female orgasm and it packages some of the best sex advice men can get into a relatively short and easy-to-read article. While this article gives me hope that guys might be learning something out there in the big world of men’s mags, it also worries me that those same guys will internalize everything they catch on these sites.

But, what can I do about it? If dudes are learning how to please a lady, who am I to argue?
Ladies, read this article with your partner!!

This Week’s Article: 10 Lessons About The Female Orgasm by Men’s Health. Read More »

This Week’s Article: Crazy Things Women do on Facebook by askmen.com

Facebook and other social networking sites have revolutionized the way humans interact with each other. Facebook allows new opportunities to make new friends, stay in touch with old friends, network with professionals in your career field, find neighbors with common interests, and, oh yeah, stalk and manipulate people.

Obvi.

While I’m sure we all know someone that has used Facebook for shady purposes, askmen.com would have their readers believe that ALL women use Facebook to control and manipulate them. And that if it’s not Facebook, we’ll find some other way to take control. They say “Women are trained in the art of creating, maintaining and controlling relationships, and Facebook is just one more resource they can use to keep tabs on and influence people.”

So what are the crazy things we actually do on there? Read More »

This week’s article: What the Woman in Your Life is Really Thinking

This week’s piece of craptastic man advice is different than most as it is written from the perspective of a woman detailing exactly what goes through her mind at important relationship moments. An extremely simpleminded, calorie-obsessed, insecure woman, that is.

This article makes all women seem like completely superficial idiots. The introduction to the article – “Every woman reacts differently, but my account here will scare the bejeezus out of you by coming pretty damn close to what your wife or girlfriend was thinking at various points in the arc of your relationship. Psychologists are standing by to help you understand—and deal with—us women” – gives me some hope that it was written as a joke, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be taken seriously by the men who read it.

Relationship Milestone #1: The Night You Met

What we’re supposedly thinking: “Are you actually hot, or have I just made that up so I won’t get bored and eat all this bread, which is awesome?”
Are You Kidding? OMG! I ALWAYS pretend men are hot to keep from consuming extra carbs!! And there is nothing that makes me crave a basket of bread more than an ugly guy.

What we’re supposedly thinking: “You looked away. I didn’t like you anyway. I’m bored. I want more bread.”
Are You Kidding? Again with the bread. Couldn’t the author at least pick something more interesting, like cheese dip or spinach puffs or mini pigs-in-a-blankets? I mean, when I’m upset or rejected, bread isn’t the first thing I turn to… Read More »