Recently, I’ve been struggling with my sex drive. Specifically, my utter lack of one. That’s not a problem I expected to confront, as I’ve always had a pretty strong libido. But I had a less than stellar summer – between my quasi-forced celibacy, feverishly searching for a new place to live, my soul-crushing job, and an utterly disgusting diet, I wasn’t at my best. Then autumn arrived, and I moved into a gorgeous apartment with my boy, I came to peace with my lame job, and I started eating better. All the pieces were coming together, but I still founding myself saying “no” to sex far more than saying “yes.” As you can imagine, this didn’t sit well with the beau, and I wasn’t exactly thrilled with the situation either.

It’s normal for stress to kill anyone’s libido, but beyond stress, I had also fallen into a bit of a depression. Every day, I woke up finding new and exciting ways to hate myself. I blamed everything that was wrong in my life on myself, on my decision-making choices. Subconsciously, I was telling myself I did not deserve to be happy, or to have pleasure, and that definitely extended to my relationship and my sex life. I didn’t believe I deserved my great boyfriend, I didn’t think I deserved arousal or orgasms. I don’t think my story is terribly unique. A low libido, though usually associated with menopausal/post-menopausal women, but it definitely afflicts women our age. Poor mental health, birth control, anti-depressants, physical pain during sex, and bad relationships can all contribute to a low libido. This isn’t an issue that tends to come up, even though it’s common among young women.  Our culture is so hypersexualized and there’s this expectation that everyone our age is either getting it in or thinking about getting it in. So when I wasn’t doing either, I felt isolated and anxious. That anxiety, combined with the guilt I already felt about not wanting to be intimate with my boyfriend, made conquering this problem seem insurmountable.

I was afraid to tell my boyfriend the whole truth about why I didn’t want sex. I would say I didn’t feel sexy, or that I was tired, or that I was premenstrual and nauseous. I was blaming my lack of libido on superficial reasons instead of the fact that I was depressed, that even if I were well-rested and looked like Rihanna, I would have still not been in the mood. Eventually, after he admitted that he was starting to become really unhappy about the lack of physical intimacy, I told him the truth about the reason behind my lack of libido. And he was so supportive. He appreciated my honesty and that I was finally willing to be communicative. He was already aware that I am prone to bouts of anxiety and depression, so it wasn’t the catastrophic discussion that I had imagined it being in my head. Just talking about it helped me feel so much better. Now that I wasn’t hiding anything from him, this wall that had been steadily rising between us crumbled down, and I have been steadily, and without any unwanted pressure from him, getting my mojo back. There is definitely something to be said about being totally open communication.

That said,  not all problems can be merely be talked out. If your lack of sex drive is interfering with your sex life and your personal happiness, you might want to consider seeking advice from a medical professional.

Emma sets out to write a biography of Dr. R, but along the way she weaves in her story and discovers herself. She takes the reader through her life as a teenage journalist in Britain, her struggle with mental illness and recovery through Dr. R in New York and, of course, relationships along the way, including falling in love with one of the world’s biggest movie stars (who she calls her Gypsy Husband). All make for not only an interesting and engaging read, but one that really pulls at the heartstrings.

There aren’t enough positive words in the English language to describe this book. Staggering, beautiful, a true work of art. Every time I picked Your Voice in My Head up, I felt like I was catching up with up with an old friend. When she told about funny things, I laughed. And I cried when I shared in her sorrows. The candidness with which Emma wrote the memoir really makes it so wonderful and easy to get attached to. It’s not often that I’m genuinely sad when I finish a book, but I was when I had to put Your Voice in My Head on my bookshelf.

Everyone should read this book. I think college-age girls (or people of any age, really) will gain tremendous insight and perspective into the important things in life. Emma is wise beyond her years and so strong, and I think we can all learn some from this exemplary woman!

I was lucky enough to interview the lovely Brit about the book and her interesting life. Check it out!

Alex: I found your book to be spectacular. Almost every time I picked it up, I teared up a bit and a few times, openly weeped. I honestly felt like I was hanging out with my best friend and she was telling me about her life. As creepy as it may sound, I feel like we’re old friends now! How has the response been to it?

Emma: Oh thank you! Well you know, it varies culturally. The English response was really divided generationally. I think journalists who are old enough to remember me from my other life when I was a teenage journalist were pretty harsh on it, while younger people in England who are just discovering me have loved it. So that’s a good response! And we’ll see when it comes out here in America on May 3^rd.  Actually, the first reviews have been really good, so I think it’s sort of classic that the toughest reviews have been England because it’s English to not like whining and people who complain. There’s a sense of  “you should keep that stuff to yourself.”

A: So you started out as a bit of a teen prodigy in the journalism world. Can you tell me what that was like?

E: So, I was earning my wages from 15 and I was celebrated for being young, but that’s dangerous because you always know in the back of your mind that one day you’re not going to be a teenager and will they still want to publish me? Very consciously, at 17, after three years of being the “teen prodigy” I went to work at another newspaper where they paid me much less, but at least my work didn’t say my age. I knew that, as with Hollywood, once I aged they would have thrown me away and found someone even younger, so it was good to force myself to transition to the adult role earlier.

A: You talk about struggling with mental illness from a very young age. When did you first realize that what you were feeling may not be normal?

E: To be honest, only when I was diagnosed in New York. You just don’t know what’s inside other people’s heads. Especially when you’re 12 or 13, you don’t say to other kids, “Hey, do you do this? Do you think this?” So really, it was a long time.

A: You credit much of your recovery to Dr. R. What was so special about him and your relationship with him?

E: I think that he never thought things were as bad as I thought they were. He always thought that I was going to be fine. And that sounds simplistic but that’s really it. I liked him and I liked the way that he saw me. I had come to think that I was such a terrible person and to see myself as he saw me, such a great person, was a hell of a start.

A: Let’s move on to your ‘Gypsy Husband.’ You were a bit of a celebrity in your own right in the UK, but what was it like to being with someone so high-profile in the states?

E: It was challenging. The best place in the world to be was in his house, which was huge, so you could just sort of seclude yourself there and be completely normal and relate to each other in a very healthy way. But then, if we even went to the drugstore for a toothbrush, everything changed. So that, I think, would be a challenge for anybody, let alone someone who has this sort of fragile history. I think it was a challenge for him as well because he had a fragile history.

A: After reading the book, I wasn’t a fan of GH. I don’t think you portrayed him as particularly “evil,” but I felt so connected to this book that it was like my best girlfriend was telling me about her life and I wanted to defend her.  Did you let him read it before it went to press?

E: Yes, I asked him to. He went back and forth about whether or not he wanted to. We certainly sent him a copy and I don’t know if he did. I imagine it would have been hard for him, primarily to see how much pain I was in. He did love me and does care, but I certainly didn’t mean to portray him as the bad guy because I know the truth. I wasn’t trying to portray that this person did terrible things. So, no, I really, really didn’t mean to have any type of villain portrayal. And I don’t think that’s the way life is; people are complicated and there are bad people who do really good things and good people can do really bad things. It’s not good guys and bad guys.

A: Do you think that if you stayed with GH you would have ended up in a good place?

E: I think if I had learned to be stronger, maybe. I don’t think I was helping myself or helping him with how spooked I was by aspects of it. I don’t think we would have stayed together forever; it’s pretty rare that people stay together forever, especially with that many challenges. I will say that it was a very, very healthy relationship for both of us and an unhealthy breakup. People are relating to the book because everyone has been through a terrible breakup where they couldn’t let go, but very few people have been through that and seen it chronicled in the National Enquirer.

A: I interpreted the voice in your head to be Dr. R’s. Whose voice is in your head now?

E: Mine, but funny enough, I just had an incredibly stressful 48 hours to deal with a really, really big work decision that was hard and meant losing someone I love deeply from my life. I navigated it as best I could and my mom told me that she thinks Dr. R would have been really proud and I’m doing what he would have told me to do. Hopefully, at this point, it’s sub-conscious that he has some influence. Because of him and because of getting well, I definitely have a sense of perspective. When you’re in the depths of it, you think, “Oh I have the worst problems in the history of the world!” Now that’s just all bullsh*t. It’s hard and it’s not a great time in your own life, but on a scale of world pain, what I’ve been through is pretty minimal.

A: Because this is for CollegeCandy, do you have any advice you could give to college-age girls? Girls in their early to mid-twenties, just kind of finding themselves?

E: Stay alive, stay eyes on the prize because in my experience, and in the experience of a lot of my girlfriends, 25 onwards, life just gets better every year. I think early twenties are really, really hard – like harder than being a teenager, harder than your thirties. You know there’s Saturn Return (the first real life change) from 27-30 and it’s good times! It gets better and better and you like yourself more and know yourself more and you become more attractive to other people. So just get to 25 and it gets easier!

Centenarians. People who live to 100-years-old and beyond.  These people are fascinating to us because we want to know what they do differently that sets them apart from the rest of us who die before that coveted 100^th birthday.

Is it genetics?
Is it what they eat?
Does exercising play a role?
Generally speaking, how can we emulate their behavior so that we too have the chance to live very long lives?

Lucky for us young, yet aspiring centenarians (seriously, who doesn’t want to live for 100 years?), these old folks have quite a few behaviors in common and their longevity is not due to any stellar set of genes. Even better, their behaviors can be emulated with ease and will actually make the time we are on the planet that much sweeter, more fulfilling and filled with vibrant health.

Interestingly, strong social relationships are the most influential factor in whether or not centenarian status will be obtained. One intensive study conducted by researchers at Harvard found that people who were disconnected from others were roughly three times more likely to die than people with strong social ties.  What astounded the researchers most was that those with close social bonds and unhealthful lifestyles (such as smoking, obesity, and lack of exercise) actually lived longer than those with poor social ties but more healthful living habits. Needless to say, people with both healthful lifestyles and close social ties lived the longest of all.

Wondering if that study was an anomaly? Nope. Other studies on our social bonds and living long show similar results.  And the type of social relationship or whom it is with doesn’t matter; it’s the closeness of the relationship that counts. Even people with pets live longer than those who are have no furry friends. One compelling study found that, in patients hospitalized with coronary heart disease, those who had a cat or dog around to cuddle and love were six times less likely to die than those without an animal companion.  Aw, this statistic makes me want to go to my local animal shelter and visit some furry friends!

So, after loving social relationships, what is the second biggest piece of the longevity pie? No surprise here: it’s what we put in our mouths.  All of the longest-lived societies consumed diets that shared certain commonalities.  They all ate plenty of veggies and fruits, whole grains over processed white flour, and consumed little meat, dairy, sugar or added fats.

The Okinawans of Japan, once known for having the most people live to 100 and beyond, ate an average of seven servings of vegetables, seven servings of whole grains, and two servings of soy products every day.  Their consumption of meat, dairy, added fats and sugar was nearly nonexistent.  Those statistics, however,  were from fifty years ago.  Today, Okinawa has become “Americanized” and people can be seen eating McDonald’s, ice cream, chips and other junk foods.  As a result, their phenomenal life expectancy statistics remain noteworthy no more. But if you eat more like the Okinawans of today (as I’m assuming most people reading this do), don’t fret.  Improving the quality of your diet can be as simple as piling more vegetables on your dinner plate or choosing whole wheat bread over white.

Other than relationships and diet, being optimistic, exercising in moderation, and not smoking were factors shown to increase longevity.  Maintaining a positive outlook helps us overcome setbacks at a faster rate, keeps us moving forward and is important for our emotional well-being.  And that’s important as study after study shows that our emotional well-being is intrinsically tied to our physical health.

So, as the new semester approaches, make sure to take study breaks with friends, load up on healthy snacks, make the time to exercise and become your most optimistic, positive self.  You just might live to be 100.

And if that’s not your goal, well, at least you’ll feel great in your twenties.

[It's a new year (which I am having trouble remembering when I have to write the date on anything), meaning it's the perfect time to wipe that slate clean and start anew. And we're gonna help you out. Every Thursday in January we're bringing you advice from experts on ways to improve yourself and your life. From mental health to making the most of your workspace, we'll all work together to get our lives, health and GPAs back on track. First we feng shui-ed our rooms to make them happier, more productive places; now it's time to overhaul our inner selves with mind/body coach, Sarah Yost.]

Stressors in life are inevitable: deadlines, expectations, the lack of time to do it all. But you don’t have to be at the mercy of those things. The less you stress the better you’ll feel and the more you’ll accomplish. Think about your energy as if you have a finite amount of it every day. If you use a lot of it stressing out about things beyond your control, you’re left without the energy you need to actually do the things that matter to you.

So how does one simply not stress?

Try these six easy tips to calm down and preserve your energy so you can accomplish everything on your plate and all those other things you just want to have time for.

Attend to your breath.
You know how people are always telling you to “just breath”? Well, there’s a reason for it! Full diaphragmatic breaths aren’t going to cut a full fledged panic attack, but they will make a noticeable difference. Full breaths change you physiologically, bringing more oxygen to your blood, slowing the heart rate and soothing the nervous system.

Try this: Inhale through the nose to the count of four, exhale through your mouth to the count of four.  Do that four times. That simple exercise will make a huge difference, and it takes less than a minute and you can do it anywhere with your eyes open. No one needs to know what you’re up to and you don’t need to schedule any extra time in your busy day to find some inner peace.

Schedule breaks.
Productivity decreases with time spent on projects. And if you try to push through just to get done, you’ll get less done. Even brief breaks recharge the brain, allowing it to function more optimally.

Have you ever forgotten a word—something simple, that’s just on the tip of your tongue? The more you focus on trying to remember it, the more elusive it gets. And then when you stop forcing it, it floats to the front of your consciousness. The same kind of thing happens when you’re pushing through while studying or doing big projects. Breaks are necessary for success, so while it seems counter-productive, give yourself some time away to breathe (or just not to think about it for a bit), then come back and get it done right.

Decide how you want to feel.
When you awaken each day, think about what you want to feel that day: focused, clear, competent, joyful, confident, strong. Whatever it is (even simply “happy”), pick a word or emotion that appeals to you. Then, make your choices for the day based on whether it will support that feeling state. Like everything in life, if you make the effort of making it a goal, you’ll be more cognizant to make it happen.

Avoid overwhelm
When you’ve got a lot coming your way in a short amount of time, it can seem impossible to get through it all….at least without a major stress session. The key is breaking it all down. Capture everything swimming around your head that needs to be addressed. Whether you’re overwhelmed with all of your responsibilities or with one big project or paper, write down everything that’s swimming around in your brain so you have some room in there to figure out what to do first. Then, break down the project into smaller, more manageable pieces.

If you feel muddled or overwhelmed at any point in the planning process, you need to break down the steps even further. Each first step needs to feel ridiculously easy or you’ll never get through it. Newton’s Law of Motion says what’s in motion stays in motion. Breaking down a project into ridiculously easy steps will get you moving and once you’re moving on it, you’re more likely to keep moving on it.

Laugh.
It’s impossible to laugh and worry at the same time. Plus, laughter decreases the levels of stress hormones and increases healthy hormone levels. Aim for laughing 20 times a day by exposing yourself to funny things (bookmark this, ladies), laughing at your mistakes instead of taking yourself so seriously, and hanging out with people who laugh a lot (it’s contagious).

Let your mistakes go.
Look for others who can benefit from your mistakes. Tell them what you did and how you overcame it. This can be in the form of a lesson or a funny anecdote. The more open and honest you are with others, the more they’ll reciprocate. Screw ups aren’t nearly as terrible when you realize you’re not alone. And if nothing else, sharing it might make you laugh about it…and that’s just another way to make it all better.

Get more of Sarah’s expertise at www.sarahwagneryost.com.

I know I lead a charmed life by any standards. I’m single during my senior year, I love my family, I have the most amazing friends, I go to a great school, and I live within five blocks of the most scrumptious fro-yo in the world. Life is great. So why the heck didn’t I feel as great as I should?

Well, even now, a few weeks later and finally back in Happyville, I don’t have an answer to that question. Something was just off, and I can’t really explain what it was. All I know is it’s over now thanks to a few things I did for myself. If you’re feeling funkadelic (and not the good kind) – whether caused by boys, school, or an unsolved perpetrator – maybe a few of these activities will help you claw your way out.

Outdoor Activities: Exercise gives you endorphins and endorphins make you happy (and happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, as Elle Woods would say). So get out and go for a hike, or play tennis, or take a dance class! Go solo or with friends, either way, take some time for yourself!
Set a short-term goal for yourself; reaching goals will give you a sense of accomplishment, which generally makes people feel happy and productive. Setting an attainable, short term goal will force you to be proactive and get you motivated.

Even better, make a to-do list of things you want to accomplish and add a few tasks on there that you’ve already completed. Then cross them out. That black line of ink you drag across a bullet point on a to-do list is one of the best feelings in the world. All hail you, master of the list.

Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food/Chunky Monkey: This is sex in a carton. The food gods literally captured sex and bottled it up for the world to enjoy. Both flavors offer chocolaty goodness that you can’t find anywhere else. Yeah, it’s not the healthiest approach to life, but indulging in this will make you feel better, I swear. If you’re worried about the calories and your funk is from the new muffin top you’re sporting, try Skinny Cow ice cream and ice cream sandwiches. They’re almost as good and half the calories (but really, nothing beats Chunky Monkey).

Mani-Pedi: This time-honored tradition can’t be overlooked. There is something magical about getting a mani-pedi at a cheap, local salon. The manicurists may talk about your bad cuticles, but you won’t ever know it, so sit down in the big comfy massage chairs, read all the trashy tabloid magazines, and relax. A little polish can do wonders for your mental health.

Go See a Movie By Yourself: You won’t have to share the popcorn or the arm rest. It’s glorious. This seems intimidating at first, but will give you some major confidence as you see a movie stag and do an activity just by yourself. Nowadays, we are always surrounded by people, whether in your environment or through texting and Facebook, so it’s nice get away every once in a while and hang out with the coolest person you know (yourself, obvi.).

What about you? Have you been in a rut recently? If so, what did you do to get out of it?

Why, you ask?  Oh, so many reasons.  One of the most important is that the dorms on my campus are chronically overheated and I come from a climate very similar to that of a tundra.  I run hot, as the saying goes.  Therefore, naked time is necessary.  However, after a couple years of stripping down to do my homework or whatever else I felt like doing, I’ve gotten used to it.  In fact, I highly recommend nudity.  Whether you have your naked time in solitude or with a friend, that’s up to you…

Here are some (non-creepy) reasons to be naked.  Enjoy:

Comfort – Fashion can be restricting.  There are days (especially in this hazy, hot summer) where the idea of waking up and putting on an outfit seems like torture.  More layers in 100 degree heat??  Absurd.  Might as well stay home and be naked.  This allows for temperature control, as well.  Plus, I guarantee you’ll not have a better night’s sleep than when you sleep naked.

Aerodynamics - Every sport (except perhaps curling and a couple of others) has a uniform specifically designed to be more aerodynamic.  The faster you are, the more you win.  Well, you can’t beat nudity for aerodynamics.  There’s no uniform closer to the skin than…skin.  Now if only professional athletes such as swimmers started competing this way (I’m talking to you, Michael Phelps)…

Attention - Going to the club?  Want some free drinks?  We all know that a little well-timed cleavage will score some free drinks.  What about nudity?  If we ignore laws about indecent exposure, clubs would be the perfect place to be naked.  You’d get loads of male attention (well, you’d get everyone’s attention, let’s not lie) and you wouldn’t be sweating your make-up off after the third song of shakin’ your booty.  Win.

Mental Health – This one is actually serious.  When you don’t have to worry about external trappings, your mind is free to relax and wander to places it may not have previously been free to go.  You fall asleep faster when you’re not thinking about how your shirt is all twisted up and your shorts are riding a bit too high (next stop, Wedgie Town).  Even homework seems to flow faster (trust me, I’ve tried this and homework is definitely easier and more fun when you’re naked. Don’t ask me why).

Saves Money – More naked time = less clothing to buy.  Enough said.

Healthier - Summer or winter, you sweat more when you wear clothes.  They restrict the flow of air to your skin and bacteria can quickly build up in certain places.  So, if you remove the clothes, then you’ll have less of a chance of rashes and skin infections.   Rashes + Skin Infections = Not Sexy.  It’s a scientific fact, my friends.

Diet - I don’t know about you, but any sight of my naked body makes me vow never to eat carbs again.  If I was naked more often, then I might actually follow through on that promise.  Have you ever tried eating while naked?  It’s awkward and seems wrong on some level.  I’m sure if I spent more time nude, I’d be rocking the best diet ever.  Anyways, I’m pretty sure McDonald’s has that No Shirt – No Shoes- No Service rule.  See?  The diet is already effective.

Originally, I was going to write an empowering and witty article about all the physical and mental benefits of being single.  Then I started my research and found…there were none.  Seriously.  Every study points in exactly the opposite direction.  Apparently, the healthiest thing we can do is get married.  Like, immediately.

Not gonna lie, I was kinda disappointed when I found out.  But then I reconsidered…maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to get married right now, especially considering all these health benefits.  I could even print out the list and slap it down on the desk of that gorgeous guy in my photography class, saying “Eh? Eh? C’mon, it’s healthy.”  He won’t be able to resist, obviously.

In case you plan on executing a ninja-style attack on a cute guy like I do (that is, in fact, how I pick up all my boyfriends), I’ve made you a handy-dandy list of reasons to print out and share with your friends and crushes.  So here you go – all the reasons and benefits of getting married NOW!

Decreased Risk of Alzheimers/Dementia – Your risk of developing alzheimers, dementia, or any sort of cognitive impairment is halved when you’re married (compared to if you are single, divorced, separated or widowed).  Can’t argue with that…or, actually, you can ’cause you’ll be married and still have all your cognitive thought processes in place.

More Money – If you’re a modern woman, you’ve probably thrown a few bucks into the pot when you’re out on a date.  It’s just polite and what’s a few nights of paying for dessert or drinks gonna hurt?  Well, your bank account, for one (or at least mine).  When you’re married, you’ll have a larger pot to pull from and will therefore be able to save a lot more, too.

Less Smoking/Drinking – When you get married, you’ll obviously spend way less time at the bars because you’ll have already snagged yourself a winner.  This means less drinking and smoking (supposedly).  Also, there will be less Bridget Jones-esque nights spent on your couch in your flannels, drowning your sorrows in tobacco and wine while watching the Lifetime network (again, supposedly).

More (Safe) Sex – Assuming your ninja attack on the hottie who sits behind you in class works out, you’ll have free reign on bedroom fun time.  Who could resist?  Also, you’ll be doing less of the skanking-it-up-at-the-bar move (hopefully), which means less of  chance to catch herpes and whatnot while still getting laid on a regular basis. Win!

Less Physical Pain – If you’re married, you tend to suffer less from back pain and headaches. Awesome!  I’m assuming this is because your husband will do all the heavy lifting for you while moving into your new dorm room in the fall.  Also, they can take your finals for you because you will be legally one person.  So many benefits, it’s almost like having a personal assistant (or EXACTLY like having a personal assistant!).

My aunt has been addicted to cheap pink wine fore 13 years. When I was a teenager I remember finding a giant bottle tucked away in the fridge near her bathroom. She used to say, “I just like having a glass before bed…it helps me sleep.” But even then I knew there was more to it than that.

This woman I knew as energetic, happy and fun transformed into a mean, foul being who constantly played the blame-game when she explained why she drank. “Your mother and uncle have always been awful to me…they made me this way.” I never loved my husband…he made me this way.”

Listening to her go on and on was not only angering, but utterly draining. I’d leave her house after a visit and feel exhausted by the toxic energy she spewed at me. It was in that last moment, when I pulled out of her driveway, that I decided I’d never set foot in her house again. 

It’s been four years. And when I received an intoxicated and seemingly heartfelt voicemail from her on Thursday, wishing me a happy birthday, I decided I needed to see her. I knew she would be a mess, my mother and grandmother constantly report her unimproved status on a daily basis. But I wanted to experience her myself. I wanted to see how much worse she’d become, as crazy as that sounds.

I walked in her backdoor with my mom (there was no way in hell I’d go alone) and saw her: hair, a mix of gray and red; face, makeup smeared and layered; body, almost emaciated. She was sweet at first. Her body shaky and weak. But when my uncle came home or my cousin entered the room, she’d shout, “I hate you!” and “You’re worthless.”

It was shocking to see what they were living with. That day she’d thrown my uncle’s laptop computer out the window and destroyed it, just because he wouldn’t pick up wine for her. He called the cops; she got arrested and sat in jail for 4 hours. Of course this was all she talked about. A circling of phrases that sometimes inquired about how I was doing, how my boyfriend was and then back to “Can you BELIEVE I was in JAIL for FOUR hours today!!!!!?????”

Speaking with someone in this state of mind is incredibly unbearable. And seeing how much her addiction has ruined her and her family was almost movie-like. It was so bad it didn’t seem real.

It got me to thinking about how people deal with problems. She has been suppressing years and years of emotional pain and thoughts with alcohol instead of dealing with them head on. She has been missing out on her life because she’s been too afraid to deal with and communicate her concerns, her worries, her dreams.

Life isn’t easy. But it’s overcoming challenges, not hiding from them, that makes us healthy and strong. If what you’re experiencing is too overwhelming, ask for guidance, speak up and surround yourself with happy people. Doing so will ensure that you never find yourself alone at the bottom of a wine bottle.

It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. And in the game of Bad Habits, you will always come out a loser. As I laid in a tanning bed, I thought about how this bad habit was going to affect me in the long run. Even though I love the immediate benefits of this vice (golden, sun-kissed skin!), I can’t help but worry about my future as a leather-skinned freak. Is the bronze skin of today worth the skin cancer of tomorrow? Let’s examine the dangerous games we play and weigh whether the consequences are worth the benefits:

Tanning

Why We Do It: I am addicted to the healthy glow I get from taking a 20 minute nap in my favorite tanning bed! I feel more relaxed, have less acne, and generally feel less self-conscious. When I’m feeling confident, I can stand up straighter, smile bigger, and show off my legs without feeling embarrassed. I feel like confidence enhances my life and I don’t want to go through my heyday without it.

Why We Shouldn’t: The reality is that, while I may feel cool and confident in my 20′s, I may be hitting up the dermatologist through my 30′s and beyond. If you expose yourself to tanning beds before age 35, your risk of developing melanoma increases 75%! Not only will I be spending my health insurance on removing cancerous or suspicious growths, I’ll be looking in a mirror at wrinkles and sagging skin. So, is the confident glow I see today going to be worth the leathery cancer-face in my future?

Drinking

Why We Do It: I may be of the non-drinking persuasion, but that doesn’t mean I don’t see why others choose to do it. Alcohol loosens you up in social situations and relaxes you after a stressful week of classes. A rousing game of quarters can bring a group of people together and help you forget about that exam you may have bombed.

Why We Shouldn’t: Unfortunately, not too many college students know when to stop before getting out of control. Did you know that 31% of college students meet the criteria for a diagnosis of alcohol abuse? Each year, 1,700 students die from alcohol related causes and over 719,000 will suffer from consequences such as injury, assault, rape and unprotected sex. Drinking one too many is not only terrible for your health and safety, but what about those embarrassing pictures of you on Facebook that Jerkface refuses to take down?! When you decide to drink at a party, you may spend 3 hours enjoying yourself, but think ahead to what the consequences might be.

Smoking

Why We Do It: Nicotine creates that feel-good sensation, calming nerves in the way that adrenaline would during a terrifying public speech. After a long day of stressing out, girls reach for the cigs to chill and shake the anxiety. Some have even fallen for the myth that smoking will help you lose weight. Smoking is also considered a fun social activity that brings people together as they stand outside the smoke-free bar recounting what so-and-so just did with that blow up doll and a bottle of chocolate syrup.

Why We Shouldn’t: You may feel like that first puff is stripping away all your worries, but that’s just the endorphins talking. After that nicotine leaves your system an hour later, your problems will still be there except now you’ll have another one: poor health. And don’t think that smoking is a great alternative to getting a bod like Giselle! Once that nicotine raises your heart rate, blood pressure and labors your breathing, you won’t last two minutes on the treadmill. In fact, smoking will eventually increase your levels of bad cholesterol, damaging your arteries just like that Double-Double Burger you’ve been craving since Friday. Not to mention cancer, the stench, the expense and addiction!

Casual Sex

Why We Do It: Women have fought for centuries against the double standard and today is the first era that sexual freedom and expression has finally reached near equality. If we meet a hot guy, we can hook up and never have to call him back (especially if dude has some rank breath and a collection of anime porn mags). Some girls may sleep with a guy because they are horny, bored, lonely, drunk, like him, or want attention. A swift roll in the hay can make a girl feel empowered and desired.

Why We Shouldn’t: Aside from any moral repercussions, casual sex can reek havoc on your body and state of mind! One in four college women have an STD, but only 10% of them know it. Look around your classroom one day…several girls sitting around you will be afflicted with one of these diseases and not even know it! Makes you want to remind all your girlfriends about carrying condoms, doesn’t it? Not only can hooking up increase your chances of being a regular at the gynecologist, but it can depress you too! Having a heat-of-the-moment night may seem like a blast, but what happens if you really like the guy and he doesn’t call? Biologically, women are hardwired with oxytocin to create a bond after intercourse. If this bond is broken, it can make it harder for us to trust guys and still feel good about ourselves.

So many choices, so much to think about.

Are you able to weigh the benefits of your habit with its consequences? Have you found a successful method of changing your ways? Bottom line, do you think indulging in vices today is worth harming your future?

Anyway, More had a list of the top five growing careers out there. Yes, even the golden age of layoffs, some jobs are still safe. And it made me think back a few years, before the recession hit. When I first declared a major in English, the employment gurus were saying it was a great major, thanks to its versatility. Now, not so much. So, as you continue to rack up all of those student loans, ask yourself: is your major going to pay off after college?

Since I felt guilty about ripping a page out of a middle-aged-lady mag in the gynecologist’s office, I came home to research the most lucrative jobs, and while More only listed five, Boston.com predicts thirty careers that will flourish by 2016.  Here is a sampling of some of the careers that will get your education the most bang for your buck.

#30: Physician Assistants

Screw the time and money it takes to become a doctor.  Physician assistants can test for their license after two years!  Boston.com predicts a 27% increase in this job market, up from 66,000 in 2006.  Three years ago, PA’s were raking in close to $75,000 a year!  Even in this rough economy, assistants are flourishing because they are often just as qualified as doctors to diagnose common problems such as the flu, and even with a five-figure salary, they are more cost-effective than a bevy of Physicians.

See also: Physical Therapists

#25 Computer Software and Systems Software Engineers

No surprise here, since everything is going digital.  The number employed in 2006 was a wapping 350,000, with a projected 28.2% increase by 2016.  That’s 448,000 computer-savvy employees…raking in a median of $87,500.  Damn!

See also: Database Administrators

#21 and #20 Marriage and Family Therapists/Mental Health and Substance Abuse Counselors

The divorce rate is skyrocketing, teenagers are getting pregnant, cyber-bullying is on the rise, and as the stress of a crumbling economy wears everyone thin, we’re all going to need some headshrinking to get through the day. Besides, when people have reached their wit’s end, it’s a lot easier to turn to drugs and alcohol as a form of escape.  And no matter how desparate people get, junkies and alcoholics will find a way to find their fix.  The pay is slightly lower, at about $40-45,000 a year, but this is another service that will always be needed.

#12 Financial Analysts

Ha. How ironic. (See also: Personal Financial Advisors)

#7 Theatrical and Performance Make-up Artists

Okay, I can see the substance abuse counselor positions rising. But seriously? Who’d have guessed theatrical and performance make-up artists were in high demand?  I guess hit musicals like Shrek: The Musical and Wicked are good for the job market.

#2 Personal and Home Care Aides

The number employed in 2006 was 787,000, and the expected increase in jobs in this field is 50%.  That’s an additional 390,000 something jobs popping up in just ten years.  I suppose that since everyone is struggling to get ahead in the office (or just to maintain an entry-level position), nobody has time to stay at home and care for a sick relative.  And as long as there are families, there are people who would do anything to see their loved ones properly cared for.

So there you have it.  A taste of some of the most rapidly expanding job markets.  I find it ironic that less than five years ago, Liberal Arts Degrees were all the rage, and barely any jobs mentioned above require such diplomas.  I’m not saying to give up your dreams; quite frankly, even if I’d tried to get through a Bachelor of Science in…anything, I’d probably end up a homeless drop-out.  So at least I’ve got something going for me.  But it’s good to know what kinds of opportunities may be waiting in your future.