If you haven’t heard of a Merkin, you are in for a treat. The Real Housewives of New York City‘s Cindy Barshop is bringing back the Merkin, a wig (yes, a wig) for the pubic area. Cindy believes she has a winner here with her “foxy bikini.” Apparently women around the world are screaming with excitement because you can now buy a real fox fur Merkin for only $225. But really, who would actually buy a pube wig?

Gawker.com accurately described this product as something in a “nightmare porno from the id of Dr. Seuss.” That or it’s those trees from Horton Hears a Who. While Cindy might be upset, I think there are much better uses for the fox-furred work of art. Here are some of my ideas, but I’m sure you can get creative and come up with hundreds more: Read More »

This week was pretty rad, what with so much geek flying all over the place.  The new Harry Potter movie is out and I’m extremely excited (I may not be the only one).  I’m almost to the point where I want to don a cape, grab a wand and do my best English accent (best = horrific).  Instead of going out to buy a brand new cape, I’ll stick with what I have in my closet…and that’s leggings.  Luckily, they go with everything.  Even capes.

Crocs, however, go with nothing and I’m happy to see they’re dying a quick death.  What will we do, now that Crocs are dying and we have space in our closet for more fabulous accessories?  Well, get a vagina wig, of course!  Those things are incredible.  I’m even considering getting one specially made (complete with sequins and bright pink faux fur) for the College Candy party later this month.  We’ll see…

As excited as I am about the fabulousness that will be the College Candy party, I’m nervous about bringing a date.  Every time I start seeing a guy, I get all tangled up in cryptic text messages.  And that stupid (GLORIOUS) book/movie, He’s Just Not That Into You, has apparently ruined me for life, so even if I had hope before, I’ll talk myself out of it now.  Maybe some well-timed Harry Potter pick-up lines can save me!  Or, in the case of Jessica Simpson, maybe not.

Maybe I should just give up sex entirely and take a platonic guy bestie.  Then I can use him as a wing man/drink server.  You never know when a guy friend can turn into a boyfriend.  Either way, I’ll have a good time!

I’m just gonna say it: vagina wigs are back and thank. gawd.  I mean, I have been literally holding my breath, waiting for the day when I could accessorize my crotch without punching holes in my genitalia and putting rings and such down there (genital piercings = not okay).  Plus, “merkin” is just a fun word to say and if it wasn’t en vogue, then I would just be a creeper, walking down the street and muttering “merkin, merkin” under my breath.  Now I can be socially acceptable! …right?

Aside from the magnificent addition to my everyday vocabulary, there are tons of reasons why I’m  happy vagina wigs are making a come back.  They’re really quite versatile pieces.  I don’t know how we got along without them as an integral part of our wardrobes.  In fact, I can think of hundreds of ways to incorporate the merkin into any and all of my outfits.  Night out with the girls? Sequined merkin.  Day at the park?  Turf merkin (000 matchy matchy).  Interview?  Tweed merkin (perhaps a tad scratchy). Read More »