The country is getting ready for a terrible recession. Banks are folding and getting bailed out by loans from the FED (which has federal in the name but is private). Scientists are trying to rip open space and time using the Large Hadron Collider. Someone like Sarah Palin is officially close to being involved in a presidency.

The signs are there: the world is going to end. And while I’m sure no one can get a godd*mn job right now (lord knows I can’t), we can at least look forward to the post apocalyptic job market that’ll present itself once the gaping maw of darkness spreads wide, and evil once again walks our planet.

Here are some jobs you may want to start building a resume for. Read More »

“The venerable Lehman Brothers investment bank said early Monday that it will file for bankruptcy, while Bank of America unveiled plans to buy Merrill Lynch — two pieces of news that profoundly alter the American financial landscape.”

In case you’re just waking up, Wall Street is going through some major changes.  Nevermind that Ike is causing oil prices to jump up yet again, two huge investment banks, both of which came through the 1930′s Depression, are in the process of folding.  While Merrill Lynch may be finding new life under Bank of America, Lehman Brothers, which is 158 years old, is closing it’s doors for good.

What does this mean for you?  Well, that remains to be seen.  All eyes will be watching Wall Street today, hoping and praying that other stocks will stay strong in the wake of such monumental financial crumblings.  It’s not news that our economy is currently shaky at best, and it may be too early to tell how exactly these two recent foldings will effect people’s wallets.

Let’s just think positively.  And maybe…skip that latte this morning.

 This couple puts all those crazy cat lady stories to shame.

Earlier this week, officials invaded the New Jersey mansion of Philip Tamis, 66, and wife Cynthia Stewart, 49, finding over 100 “malnourished and neglected dogs and cats”.

ASPCA workers were horrified to find the old, decrepit mansion full of feces and decaying animals. Many of the dead cats and dogs had been deceased for over a year.

Apparently, Tamis was a Merrill Lynch securities broker, a man who went to work every day and came back every night to a house more disgusting than any one of those Saw movies. His wife…evidently spent all day milling around shit-strewn floors.

As rescuers carried out the animals that were still living on Tuesday, Cynthia Stewart reportedly ran to the door shouting, “they’re my babies!”

After the New York Post ran this story, people everywhere simultaneously decided their neighbors really weren’t so bad after all.