You meet a guy. He’s cute, he’s charming and he makes you want to take off your clothes and jump his bones. And then – score! – he asks to come home with you. So, you finish your drink (read: chug that bitch), say goodbye to your friends (read: scream to them across the bar, “LATER, LADIES!), hail a cab and head back to your place.

As you fidget with the keys to your house you begin to think to yourself, this guy is too good to be true. There must be something wrong with him. Right? But what could it be? Bad in bed? Weird rash? Miniscule manhood?

Not that it matters – it’s the motion in the ocean, right? Well, now you can know exactly what you are dealing with…down there. Yes, ladies, someone has done the unthinkable: they took a condom and a ruler and put it all together into one handy dandy little (or, if you’re lucky, big) package. Read More »

Straight to Hell: The Clash

Does this song sound familiar? If you are a fan of MIA (and who isn’t these days?) then it should–she samples this, my favorite song of all time, on her catchy single Paper Planes. Straight to Hell most deftly and beautifully represents everything that makes the Clash so singular and so influential, mixing Joe Strummer’s rusty voice with clever world music instrumentation, wit, and a political message.

Once Again: Girl Talk

The music of Girl Talk reminds me of cheerleading remixes on crack, and I mean that in the very best way. If you aren’t familiar with Girl Talk, it’s basically a DJ named Greg Gillis who mixes, to unexpected delight, any number of seemingly disparate songs together to create a sort of fun, danceable Frankenstein. My favorite part? Mixing The Whisper Song with the Verve’s Bittersweet Symphony. Brilliant.

Machine Gun: Portishead

After 11 years, Trip Hop pioneers Portishead have finally come out with a new album, Third. Portishead was one of my favorite bands growing up, so I was absolutely delighted when they released a new album after so long and even happier when the album turned out to be really, really good.

For me, the band was most successful when they were at their heaviest and darkest, and Third is full of that density. The first single off of the album is the relentless track Machine Gun, which juxtaposes lead singer Beth Gibbons’ rich lilt with persistent and ominous synthesizers. It’s a mixture of hard and soft sounds that is Portishead’s trademark and its done to beautiful, poignant effect in Machine Gun. Read More »

I “spring clean” at least once every season. Nothing thrills me more these days than getting rid of crap I don’t use. It’s refreshing, it’s helpful, and it’s totally impossible without a good playlist to get you up and motivated enough to start, continue, and FINISH the job.

I’ve got a pretty sweet playlist on my Itunes for these special cleaning days and I would highly recommend that you investigate getting some of these songs for your busy bee days, too.

“Blanket” by: Autolux –it’s: Indie/Rock

“Grow up & blow away” by: Metric –it’s: Rock

“Non Photo-Blue” by: Pinback –it’s: Indie/Alternative

“A perfect day Elise” by: PJ Harvey –it’s: Indie/Alternative

“3’s & 7’s” by: QOTSA –it’s: Rock/Alternative

“Straight Lines” by: Silverchair –it’s: Rock/Alternative

“Jumpers” by: Sleater-Kinney –it’s: Pop Punk/Garage

“Bohemian Like You” by: The Dandy Warhols –it’s: Indie/Rock

“Love is Paranoid” by: The Distillers –it’s: Punk/Grunge

“Sideways in Reverse” by: Mark Lanegan –it’s: Rock

Throw on some of these songs and then try to tell me you weren’t motivated to clean!