Last week it seemed like society would finally be free of one of its hottest messes. Turns out, not so much. Unlike we all thought and hoped,  Lindsay Lohan won’t be going to jail…yet. But this week we learn she might not be quite as down and out as we once thought. At least compared to the other crazies in HWood. And you know I’m loving it. There’s something nice about seeing celebrities that are crazier than you; it makes your dreams of having your own reality show seem like a reachable goal.

What’s Happening:

1. Lindsay Lohan finally made it to court! In fact, the judge postponed her vacation because she knew her replacement would go easy on Ms. Lindsanity. Anywho, Lilo has to wear a SCRAM anklet (so in right now), submit to random drug testing, attend an alcohol education course once a week, and even has to call her probation officer every night! She’s still allowed to take her prescription meds (Adderall and Ambien), but the random drug tests will determine if she’s using those properly (doubtful). I know this seems bad, but I think jail would straighten her up. It worked for Paris. Sorta…

2. Simon Monjack (Brittany Murphy’s husband) passed away this week due to heart troubles. He must have really had a broken heart. His family claims he needed a bypass surgery, but he wanted to wait. Brittany’s family is still insisting that he was crazy and something shady was going on in their house. There were a lot of prescription medications found in his home, but no one is sure what the cause of his death actually was. It’s been ruled as natural causes and Simon will be buried next to Brittany. Read More »

So I never really knew how to felt about Megan Fox…especially after she made her debut in Michael Bay’s blockbuster hit, “Transformers.” I initially hated her cause she was smackin’ her pillowy lips on my hot (dream) bf Shia LaBeouf. Throughout the movie she basically was eye candy for all the men while all the ladies just rolled our eyes until Shia came on-screen.

But the more I’ve read her interviews, where she really, really speaks her mind and basically doesn’t give a care about anything or anyone in the world, I think I am starting to appreciate her brash honesty, which is refreshing to read in comparison to all the blonde, bimbo-ish Hollywood mannequins that we currently have in the industry.

Ever since it was announced that she was dropped as Shia’s love interest (shocker! I know) from the third Transformers movie, so many people have been wondering whether she was fired (because she called Michael Bay a Nazi during one of her interviews, nice one Fox) or she chose to step down because apparently, Bay really does act like a Nazi on movie sets.

Whichever story is true, we will never know (Hollywood is sneaky like that), but it’s already been announced that Bay has already found Fox’s replacement, Victoria’s Secret model Rosie-Huntington Whitely, whom he worked with while shooting an ad for the lingerie company. Even though I absolutely loved and adored the past two Transformers movies (I know, I’m a nerd like that and plus…another reason for me to be reunited with Shia), I have finally realized that the reason why Michael Bay is still in bizness is because he casts really gorgeous girls whom none of us can ever attain to and plays with cool explosions. Somehow that makes a blockbuster movie, shame.

It’s sad really, that Hollywood and Tinseltown has come down to this. I’m pretty sure Bay wanted Fox to scram after she whined and sounded off to the media about how much she hated working with him. I mean, I would be pretty angry too if I were a director that made someone super, super famous and that person just ended up bashing on me. But whatever the case is, it’s now been established that Michael Bay only casts really pretty girls so he can belittle them on set.

Hollywood is so elite.

Shizz went down this week: Biebs has a tat, Miley is still a bird, and George Lopez cheated on his wife (the same wife who GAVE HIM HER KIDNEY) with some hookers. You know, just another week.  Anyway, while it pains me that I know so much about the lives of these people, I’m happy to report the deets for all of you. I really am a martyr. You’re welcome.

Golden Nuggets of Information

1. Lindsay Lohan has a warrant out for her arrest with a bail set for $100,000! Lindsay was supposed to appear in court this week, but instead she went to Cannes to promote her new film Deep Throat, which hasn’t even been approved yet. When it was time for her to fly home, her passport was “stolen” but the police have no record of her reporting it stolen! Lindsay sent out an email asking friends for a private jet to get her back to L.A. so she wouldn’t miss her court date, but there was no such luck. (She shoulda called Doug Reinhardt, right?) So when she gets back to the States, she’ll be in the slammer. So….that’s 1 Lohan in jail, 3 to go?

2. Bret Michaels is back in the hospital! Boo, this is bad news! Bret was experiencing numbness in the left side of his body, and doctors found a hole in his heart. The condition is treatable, but he needs to take it easy. Bret is trying to get back to his career and wants to appear on the finale of Celebrity Apprentice, however especially after his recent brain hemorrhage, homeboy needs to rest. Get on that Rock of Love bus better soon, Bret! Read More »

Transformers. Yeah, I watched the cartoon. I was a child of the 80’s and I had a younger brother! We watched it all: Transformers, Thunder Cats (someday I’ll have to talk about how odd this show seems now…I mean, cat people? In spandex?), GI Joe. When I wasn’t playing with My Little Ponies, I was watching boy cartoons.

Which is why I’m slightly excited about Michael Bay’s giant Transformers movie. I can’t tell you if I’ll actually see it in the theaters, but its nostalgia. Nostalgia of the 80’s. Everyone loves them some good nostalgia.

Of course, being 24, there might be one more reason I’m interested in a movie about robots that turn into cars. And that reason might be Hollywood’s new It Kid, Shia LaBeouf.

The strangely adorable LaBeouf began his acting career on Even Stevens, a Disney show that was actually pretty funny, and soon graduated to bigger movies like Holes and this spring’s Disturbia (some of you indie flick lovers may also have seen him in A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, a film that made me cry relentlessly for twenty minutes).

These days, Shia is making huge movies like Transformers and the newest installment of Indiana Jones, but no matter the film’s budget, always seems to carry with him a mature sense of character. He’s a great actor, and everyone seems to be noticing.

What about you, lovelies? Is Shia your new It Guy…or just some guy?