As I’m sure anyone with an internet connection, mobile phone, or the ability to read knows: John Mayer is a tremendous douche bag. In a recent interview with Playboy, he reminds America (as if his Twitter feed wasn’t proof enough) why he is the most irritating dbag on the planet. I will reiterate douchebag multiple times in this article because I am fairly certain if you check the ingredients on Summer’s Eve, the primary ingredient is John Mayer.

Okay, sure, John Mayer shouts out his exes, claims his cock is a “white supremacist,” will do anything for attention, makes that nasty face when he sings and just generally looks like a grease ball who invented HPV, but certainly there have to be worse guys out there. And there are.

So allow me to list 10 guys who are even more un-dateable than the totally un-dateable Mr. Mayer. Read More »

Lesson Learned: Bloody hot mess on stage = best career move EVER

Is it just me, or does it seem like almost every celebrity out there had some giant scandal in 2009? I feel like I spent at least 3/4 of the year crouched in front of the TV or refreshing my news on the internet just to keep up. From Michael Jackson’s shocking death, to cheating husbands, to a family sending a silver balloon in the air and forcing their family to lie just to get on TV, the scandals have gone from serious and sad to very WTF worthy.

Seriously, WTF, 2009?

But I guess when it comes down to it, all of this (hot) mess can do some good. I mean, even if Tiger’s marriage doesn’t work out and Carrie Prejean’s sex tapes continue to circulate to the point that her career is really over, at least I learned a few things. And all without having a giant mess on my hands.

So thank you, celebs, for being the anti-role models that I need and teaching me some very important life lessons. Below, the top 10 lessons I learned in 2009:

1. Do Not Send Naked Photos. Just Don’t! You’d think I would know this already, but celebs just keep drilling it into my head. Too bad they still aren’t learning the lesson. Among others, naked pics of Rihanna, Carrie Prejean, Ashley Greene, and Vanessa Hudgens (again) popped up on the Internet this year. And got passed around quicker than the Swine Flu in a college dorm. So the next time that guy you barely know asks for some sexy pictures via text, think about this: there is 90% chance that those images could come back to haunt you. And a 100% chance if you break his heart.

2. Don’t Do Drugs! We’ve heard that message a million times, but it never rang more true than when the world lost Michael Jackson. Of course, we also have a few other people drilling this point home. Like Lindsay Lohan, Amy Winehouse, Steven Tyler…. Read More »

To say I live a blessed life is a gross understatement. I live a great effing life, and 2009 was no exception. I had a fantastic year full of old friends and new, family, road trips, good…bedmates, and some really exceptional sale purchases. Yeah, 2009 was one of my best years yet (well, out of college, so I’m not quite sure what that’s worth) and I’m sorta sad to see it go.

But I’m also really excited for 2010! And not just the super adorable outfit I have picked out for NYE. A new year (and a new freaking decade!) brings a fresh start and new adventures. It’s a chance to say “TTFN” to the bad – like Tila Tequila, my muffin top, and Hipsters with skinnier legs than me – and “Holla back at me” to the new. Like a working economy, perhaps? Gay marriage? Fat free, calorie free Dairy Queen Blizzards? A girl can dream.

As we creep dangerously close to 2010, I asked the CollegeCandy writers what they are most excited to leave behind in ‘09. What about you? Share yours below!

Kim – Stanford: I cannot wait to leave behind the drama that is Tiger Woods. Why is everyone so shocked that a very rich and successful pro-athlete who travels all the time cheated on his wife? That’s just obvious.

Teresa – UCSD: My fake ID!

Megan – Penn State: Definitely the crappy boys of 2009. Hopefully 2010 brings me no heart-breakers or creepers!

Erica – Kent State: Working at the Financial Aid office in the file room at 9 a.m.–ALONE– four out of five mornings of the school week.  Pure torture. Read More »

Hey there, hot stuff.

And other facts he shared with Jay Leno.

The 10 most obvious reality show one-liners.

Winehouse hospitalized. Not surprising, really.

Beyonce loves the sequins!

How to rock the oversized flannel.

Ew, Michael Lohan, EW!

For work, not romance.

And this is Chris Brown’s new song…

Fix that broken hair at home!

Michael Lohan heading back to jail?

Ew. That’s the chick Josh Duhamel cheated with?

Jon Gosselin is “too famous for a real job.”

Ready to see this guy's hockey stick?

Are you getting pumped about Levi Johnston’s upcoming full-frontal spread in Playgirl?

Wait, what’s that? You just threw up in your mouth a little?

Levi might be conventionally attractive, but his status as Bristol Palin’s baby-daddy, Jon Gosselin’s new buddy – Michael Lohan must be green with envy – and an all-around jerk (in response to New York Magazine asking him how he was adjusting to life in the Big Apple, Levi said, “I run this city. It ain’t no thang.” UGH) means that we’re less than excited about the idea of having naked pictures of this asshat plastered all over the internet next week.

After giving the matter some thought, we realized that there are actually only five guys that we’d be even more opposed to seeing in their birthday suits. Read the list if you dare—the thought of these dudes naked might just make you shudder. Read More »

We all agree that Lindsay Lohan is a train wreck. But can we really blame her for being so messed-up when she’s had to deal with parents like Michael and Dina Lohan?

Michael has been acting especially awful lately—he keeps leaking recordings of phone calls with Lindsay and her mom to the media, supposedly because he’s worried about her. Right, because the best way to help your strung-out daughter is by releasing calls that you recorded without her knowledge to the national press, who have always been nothing but kind to her.

What a douche.

Thinking about Michael Lohan reminds us of other Hollywood dads who are certified d-bags. Jon Gosselin, Alec Baldwin, the Hoff… all of them are rich, famous, and majorly jerky. But which one of them deserves to be named the Douchiest Hollywood Dad of all? Tell us what you think in the poll below. Read More »

Best. Hollywood couple. Ever?

Michael Buble is a pot-head.

Your daily delicious dose of RPatz.

The 10 worst drug store shampoos.

I knew Angelina wasn’t perfect.

Pick up a dude this Halloween weekend!

Dear Lindsay,

Word on the street is that they’re trying to make you go to rehab and you say no, no, no. While Amy Winehouse turned that jam into a monster hit, do you really want it to be the theme song to your E! True Hollywood Story? I have to be brutally honest with you, Linds; you’re not looking good. We all see that damaged, over-processed hair and all that chain smoking as if your life depends on it.

Remember when you used to look like this? Now, you’ll be lucky if you don’t crack that orange, leathery face of yours.

And here’s an FYI: just because pills are “prescribed” doesn’t mean you can down them like Tic-Tacs. Have we learned nothing from the loss of Heath Ledger last year? Granted Heath was a sexier blond than you will ever strive to be, you don’t have to drown your sorrows in a water bottle filled with vodka. Yes, we’ve caught on to you.

So what’s next for you, LiLo? We are all waiting with bated breath. Do you honestly want to say you hit your peak as a Mean Girl? That your last stab at acting not only didn’t make it to theaters, but went straight to ABC Family!?

Can’t you see that you’ve hit rock bottom? I thought it was blatantly obvious when you accepted the role in I Know Who Killed Me. Perhaps you were trying to relive the twin glory that you received from The Parent Trap, but playing the part of a strip club amputee and her equally mutilated twin sister was not your finest hour. And from I’ve seen of your pole-dancing skills, I’d urge you not to quit your day job. Oh wait – you’ve already done that. Read More »

What happened to the cutest couple in Hollywood?

Are you a frugal shopper? You could win a $500 shopping spree!

Protect yourself from bank fees!

Guess who’s using drugs again? I’ll give you a hint: LiLo.

Will there be a Gossip Girl threesome?!

Get that boy to love you.