As far as people go, I am rather intolerant.  I am intolerant of people who do not clean the coffee maker after they use it.  I am intolerant of couples that walk too slowly together on the sidewalk and therefore block all of the people behind them.  Mismatched outfits and too much eye makeup make my blood boil. And don’t even get me started on people who don’t know how to parallel park.

However, I’ve always felt that I exemplify a very accepting society when it comes to the bigger issues. Things like racial inequality or sex discrimination. I’m all about equal rights for everyone, regardless of race or gender. In fact, when my professor made me argue for school segregation and against gay marriage last week as a class exercise, I started laughing because I literally had nothing to say.

Why wouldn’t we want everybody to be happy?
Doesn’t everyone feel this way?
Doesn’t the law basically say just live and let live?

Yeah, apparently not. The events of the past couple of weeks have informed me that I am completely wrong about the world and the people living in it. Turns out, my tolerance isn’t the rule, it’s the exception. And minority groups, especially the gay population, have to put up with way more than I realized.

As a University of Michigan student, my local news is recently headlined with the story of Chris Armstrong, our student body president who is being harassed by Andrew Shirvell.  An Assistant Attorney General for the state of Michigan, Shirvell has gone out of his way to harass Armstrong online, accusing him of using his presidency to advocate a “radical homosexual agenda.”  Shirvell has not only shown up at student government meetings to criticize Armstrong, but also seeks him out at home.  While Shirvell claims he has freedom of speech to say whatever he wants, as someone who has actually studied Supreme Court cases, I was always under the impression that government officials were the ones trying to limit hate speech despite the First Amendment preserving its existence.  Wrong again.

And then I heard about Tyler Clementi jumping off of the George Washington Bridge forty minutes from where I live.

In an effort to not turn this into a rant about cruel people or bad judgment, I’ll just sum it up again.  Clementi’s roommate had a WebCam in their dorm room that taped Clementi having sex with another man.  His roommate took this footage and streamed it to the Internet.  A couple of days later, Clementi jumped off the bridge.  Coincidence?  Highly doubt it.

Though the Civil War ended in 1865, it took about a hundred years for real laws to come in place giving African-Americans their rights.  And in the middle of all of this, there was still persecution and murder and violence.  I can no longer speak for what the rest of the world thinks, but I do not think it is appropriate for a group of oppressed people to have to wait one hundred years before they can stop worrying about being bullied on a daily basis.

While America may allow everyone to have his or her own belief, this freedom does not entitle us to be cruel.  As a society, we see stories every day about our neighbors going out of their way to make others’ lives a little more difficult. For what? What’s the point? If Shirvell or Clementi’s roommate are experiencing higher quality lives after what’s gone on during the past two weeks, then someone please alert me.

So just stop.  Stop being difficult just for the sake of being difficult.  Stop ruining other people’s lives just because you can. I don’t think that being a little more accepting really ever hurt anyone.

[Every week, CC and John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus. Join the Overheard revolution!Leave your own overheard convos in the comments or send ‘em over!]

(A girl and her boyfriend at a large restaurant table.)

Girl: He’s really wonderful. He doesn’t speak a lot of English, though. Right, honey? Not so much English?

Boyfriend: *shrug, smile of confusion*

(Sad girl, on the phone.)

Girl: I know. I should really stop dating boys when I realize they’re evil overlords.

(A bunch of people sitting around a campfire.)

Girl 1: Marshmallows are kinda gross, when you think about it.

Girl 2: I think it’s a good kind of gross. Like tiny, edible fat people.

(A cell phone is ringing.)

Girl (answering phone): I’m running circles around you! Say goodbye to your kneecaps, chucklehead!

(Boy, girl, sitting on couches.)

Boy: And what’s really great about Michigan is that you can always take a train from Hartford to Chicago.

Girl: I’m sorry, but what are you talking about?

(In a deserted parking lot at 2 a.m., a guy pokes his head out of a car.)

Guy: Hey… hey! Are you guys eating Taco Bell, too?

(Gym employee greeting a student.)

Employee: All right! The gym! Are you ready to kick some ass?

Student: Um, sorry? Do you need my ID?

Employee: You gotta kick ass, bro!

Student: I don’t know. Sorry.

Employee: Okay, fine, let me see your ID. Go do pilates or whatever.

(Couple at a restaurant.)

Waiter: What can I get you started with?

Guy: Could I just have the bruschetta?

Girl: I’m fine. I don’t eat. I mean, I’m not hungry.

(Two guys in an office.)

Guy 1: Okay. Joke. What’s the most important part of comedy?

Guy 2: Uh, I don’t -

Guy 1: *kicks the guy hard in the shins*

(Two girls, at a lunch table, with sandwiches.)

Girl 1: So… what do you think?

Girl 2 (chewing sandwich): Oh my god.

Girl 1: Teddy Grahams, right?

(Girl, on the phone.)

Girl: Yeah, it’ll be fine, you guys can come over. My dad’s drinking again.

(Two girls, planning… something.)

Girl 1: I think we can do it. We’ll just have to move the ducks.

Girl 2: God. Your brother is such a jerk.

(A couple yelling from across a pond.)

Girl: CAN YOU ALL PLEASE STOP FISHING? I’M TRYING TO GET NAKED IN NATURE!

Miranda Tozier-Robbins can’t seem to leave Britney alone.

Don’t let the recession put a wrinkle in your beauty budget.

Dina Lohan takes credit for Lindsay’s video.

Oprah Tweets!

Have an endless summer in your own backyard.

Dear god, what have I done to deserve this?!

I’ve been getting rather desperate and even considered drinking alone at a bar last night in order to muster up the courage to bring someone (ANYONE) home. Then I turned on a rerun of The Millionaire Matchmaker, lost my motivation to leave the house, and “took care of things” on my own instead. Again. For the 5th night in a row.

So I can totally understand the desperation and downright carnal need of this Michigan man who was caught and sentenced to 90 days in prison for having sex with (yes, with) a car wash vacuum. Long stretches without any lovin’ can make anyone go crazy…and find vacuums attractive. He just needed to get some, dammit! (And he’d know that “lady” wouldn’t spit… Too far? My bad.)

Anyways, while I can see where this guy was comin’ from, I just hope to god that my personal spell of dryness ends before I find myself spending my nights humping the washing machine in my dorm’s laundry room. Pray for me.

Once you get past the fact that the NCAA Selection Committee made the mistake of not including some of the best teams that could have been this year’s Cinderella (Arizona State instead of St. Mary’s? come on), the board actually came up with a pretty good draw. And for the next 2 weeks, I will be fully immersing myself in the insanity and awesomeness that is the most exciting sporting event of the year: March Madness.

The best conference in the country (and maybe in history) is hands-down the Big East. 3 out of the 4 number 1 seeds are from the Big East: UConn, Louisville, and Pitt. Even Barack Obama believes in the dominance of this conference, since his bracket that he filled out on Wednesday (live on ESPN! what a cool prez) shows it filling half of his Elite Eight. Although Obama didn’t have our lovely school in his Final Four, Coach K isn’t worried.

And he shouldn’t be worried either. Thursday was the big first day of the NCAA tournament, and the big seeds shined just like they were predicted to. During lunch I heard the big news of #1-seeded UNC ripping Radford to shreds in the South, winning 101-58 (42 points too many, in my opinion). The other #1-seeded UConn also came out with a deafening roar, with the Huskies winning 103-47 against Chattanooga. #2 Memphis (who I have going to the Final Four) won as well, and of course the almighty Blue Devils beat Binghamton (ha, no chance at all).

The upsets were few, but pretty significant. Both the #10′s beat both the #7′s: Maryland showed they earned their spot in the draw by crushing California, while Michigan just got by Clemson (serves them right for beating Duke once in a fluke). Editor’s Note: GO BLUE!

#12 Western Kentucky beat #5 Illinois in a shocker, which definitely messed some of my friend’s brackets up and led to some name-calling on FB statuses (but with a “hilltopper” as mascot, they’re kinda asking for it). #9 Texas A&M beat #8 Brigham Young, which was expected, but the one non-upset that got me most upset (because it ruined my otherwise perfect bracket) was #6 UCLA squeezing by #11 VA Commonwealth! The score was 65-64, in a real nail-biter of a game (seriously, you should see my nails).

Oh well, 15 out of 16 – that ain’t bad. Watching the madness ensue on our flat-screen tv in the common room – that ain’t bad. Having Super G on our team – that’s the total opposite of bad. Now, if only Ty Lawson from UNC never comes back from sitting-out due to his injury…well, that’ll just be the icing on the cake.

So, tonight is the big BCS National Championship between the Oklahoma Sooners and the Florida Gators. Who is gonna win? I don’t care; I just wanted a good excuse to drink on a Thursday. And eat wings. And dip. And wear sweats to the bar.

Anyways, in honor of this major match-up, we at CC decided to have our own championship. We come from the school of thought that the hotter the QB, the better the team. Just think about USC and, at one time, Michigan. Hot, hot, hot.

So, tell us: based on the hotties quarterbacks, who is gonna win tonight?

Virginia voters have definitely heard to the call to get up and out, as many registration booths have been “overwhelmed” by the amount of people trying to insure their say in this election.  According to the Los Angeles Times;

“Virginia has logged more than 300,000 new voters since the year began. The state does not record party affiliation, but it says that 41% of the new registrants are under the age of 25, and an additional 20% are between the ages of 25 and 34.

The influx of young voters, a core part of Obama’s voting coalition, is an encouraging sign for the Democratic nominee in a state that has not picked a Democrat for president in more than 40 years .”

It’s always encouraging when young people put down their ipods and blackberrys and decide to take responsibility for a nation they’ll soon be controlling, and it’s even more encouraging that a Democratic candidate unlike any other is the one that gets them fired up.

No matter what party you affiliate yourself with, it’s got to make you happy that someone has finally (seemingly) lit the fire under the ass of America’s youth.

I just don’t know if 2 days is enough for me.

Being that I have such a public forum at my disposal, I thought I would go the extra mile this year and clear my slate of sins before I even step foot into synagogue this evening. So, without further adieu, here are my apologies. Please forgive:

- I am sorry for doubting the Wolverines and their ability to have a KILLER comeback in a football game.

- I am sorry that I called that girl a bitch in the bathroom because she refused to pass me toilet paper under the stall.

- I am sorry for all those times I cut people off while driving; I thought I had more important places to be than them, but I now realize that getting home in time for Oprah is really not important at all (mostly because I have DVR).

- I am sorry for talking badly behind people’s backs all year. I am also sorry that I will do it again next year.

- I am sorry for stealing internet from you, upstairs neighbor. But you should be sorry for waking me up at 6am on weekends while having (LOUD) sex with your boyfriend.

- I am sorry for this.

God I love this holiday. The apples and honey, the family meals, and the fact that all my wrong doings can be erased simply by asking. I can see why Lindsay Lohan wants to be a jew.

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Imagine my excitement, then, when I found out that their newest album, All Sides was coming out July 15th (tomorrow!), I was going to be able to listen to it before it was released, and I was going to be able to interview them! Life doesn’t get much better than this. Below is my dream realized – a jovial chat with Jerry DePizzo, the ridiculously talented man behind the sax for O.A.R.

CC: I have been listening to the new album-I think it’s fantastic. Why did you call it, All Sides?

O.A.R.: Well, we wanted to make it self-explanatory, we always kind of like to – not necessarily wear our emotions on our sleeves – but kind of let everything hang out. It just means you see all sides of the band, what we can do musically and stylistically and different subject matters of which we speak out. It’s an all-encompassing perspective of OAR.

CC: In your earlier albums, you took a lot of inspiration from college, and growing up–what was your inspiration for the songs on this album?

O.A.R: Well, it’s always life experiences. Mark always takes experiences either he’s gone through himself, or people close around him have experienced and puts them into words that people can really relate to and connect with.

CC: How have those life experiences changed since you guys recorded your last album?

O.A.R.: Nothing really has changed as far as this record, other than the fact that we’ve gotten a little older, hopefully a little wiser. The 1st couple records were of wonderment and soul-searching, wondering what’s out there.

CC: Putting together an album is obviously a lot of work; what is your process? How do you decide what you want on an album?

O.A.R.: We wrote a whole batch of songs. God knows how many; 25 or 30, and we narrowed it down to 15 or 16 that we were gonna record. We wanted each one to have really a specific purpose to it and show a specific side of who we are.

CC: What was the biggest challenge for you guys when you were working on the album?

O.A.R: You know, our core audience is like 16-22, that “just getting out high school, getting into college”-aged people–and it’s pretty easy to relate to someone like that when you’re that age. As you get older, you’re obviously gonna lose touch. So, the challenge on this record is to write music that really speaks to us, and tells really what we’re dealing with and going through, but also tells it in a way that our audience really connects with us.

CC: You guys have sold over a million records in your career – what’s your next big goal?

O.A.R.: Goals change as you kind of evolve and go through things. There’s a lot of different goals that I have: I’d love to sell a million of one specific record, and I’d love to sell out stadiums and arenas and tour all over the world. I’d love to get a Grammy–all kinds of different things like that–and be recognized by our peers, and get the cover of Rolling Stone. But really, what I’d honestly love to do more than anything is just keep doing this as long as I want to do it.

CC: Do you ever think to yourself that you never want to play “A Crazy Game of Poker” again?

O.A.R.: I never want to play it the same way. We play that song every night, and if we played it the same it would be boring and uninspired, and you guys probably wouldn’t like it too much either, because it would show.

CC: So, how do you keep from getting bored with it?

OAR: We try to do it differently every night, something new and fresh–it’s kind of self-serving, but it helps you guys as well, because if we come up with something new and fresh and exciting and that we’re inspired by, we’re gonna play it all the more inspired. It’s gonna translate more, and you’re gonna be like ‘Wow, that’s awesome,” and “that was worth the $30 to go see them play that one song.’

CC: I’ve seen a lot of shows in my time and I have always thought it was worth the money. You guys always look like you are having the best time. Do you have as much fun onstage as you seem to, or are you playing it up?

O.A.R.: Oh, I have a blast. It’s hard to tour; if it weren’t the most fun I could ever conceive of having, it wouldn’t be worth it, to be honest. It’s pretty taxing on the people around you – you see the wear and tear it takes on your family and relationships. After a while, you question yourself: is it worth it? Then you get out on that stage and go, “Yep, definitely worth it. 110%” We really do enjoy what we do, we love what we do and love playing for people. It’s a great experience.

CC: OSU is a huge football school; were you a big Buckeye fan?

O.A.R.: I was never a guy who tailgated and stuff–I waited tables in college, and if we weren’t out touring, game days were really a good day to work because you made a ton of money. I’d buy tickets and then hawk ‘em or whatever.

CC: You’ve never been to a game??

O.A.R.: I only went to one game, and I wasn’t even in college when I went. I went to Texas-OSU game at the Horse Shoe. It was great, it was an awesome experience–people are goings nuts, you can’t help yourself but take part in it and feel a part. And when they win, and you feel like you willed them to victory. And when they lose, they take a piece of you with them.

CC: So, you didn’t do football Saturdays; what was your college experience like!?

O.A.R.: Well, we had such a unique experience, almost like an athlete really, because we went to school–most of us at least went to class–Monday through Thursday or Friday, and then Friday nights we’d go out on tour, and we did that for like three years. It was a pretty unique college experience. It’s not your norm, I’ll say that.

CC: What did you learn at school that you think everyone should take to heart?

O.A.R.: I imagine at orientation, when everyone goes and you sit down, the Dean of Students or something, or president of university, will give you some sappy speech about bonds for life and meeting people, that the people you meet in college will be around and surround you for the rest of your life, and the ties that you have will be there forever. It’s sappy and completely cheesy, but it’s 110% true.

CC: I agree. Any other truths you learned in college?

O.A.R.: College is a time to really find out who you are as a person and who you want to be. It’s funny how you figure that out and move on from it, and it sticks with you.

CC: What are you guys most excited for right now?

O.A.R.: We have this new record coming out. We’re just immensely proud of it and we hope everyone enjoys it as much as we do. I hope we’re able to reach a broader audience and kind of show everybody everything we’re capable of and not just be pigeonholed as a band that people really like to drink beers to. I think there’s a lot more substance to this band and if you give it a listen, you’ll see that.

CC: I think anyone who picks up this album will fall in love. What do you think it is about the band that makes you so successful?

O.A.R.: I was trying to figure it out for years–what is it that set O.A.R. apart? What is it that we do that people really gravitate towards and connect to? And it took me forever, and I just figured it out a couple months ago–it’s not rocket science and it’s not some crazy formula: it’s just the fact that we make people feel good when we play music. We make people feel good, regardless of what we really talk about in the songs.

]Editor’s Note: All Sides is O.A.R.’s best album yet. This is a must-have. Go get it!]

Unlike my other colleagues here at CollegeCandy, when I was just a wee lass (that’s what you probably say now, and in a faux English accent, right?), I used to love you. I did. I was a fan. I loved your bangles, your lacy short socks, your polka-dotted headbands, your frizzy half-bleached blond hair, your apparent smelliness. I always imagined your scent to be a strong B.O., mixed with garlic, in “Borderline,” “Papa Don’t Preach,” and “Lucky Star.”

I adored your trashy “I’m-a-punky-girl-from-NYC” look, and when you spray painted stuff all over those Grecian statues, you were great! Of course, at the tender age of five, I didn’t realize that your look, your “raunchy NYC city-ness” was all totally faux, too. But that’s OK. Even though I know that you’re from Michigan, I’m still all right with that.

I even followed your music through the rougher spots, when it was icky as hell. I didn’t mind the whole India-moment (you were obviously doing a lot of soul searching), or the confusion you seemed to experience when you put out your last album (roller skates? Disco balls? Huh?). Remember all that silliness? You wore way too much disco-stuff and had Farrah Fawcett hair, even though the music didn’t sound a lick like something from the 70s.

But even that was OK. At least I could jog on the treadmill, and sweat myself to death, listening to your album, and tolerate it. (Although, the song about NYC, I think it’s track 5, was friggin’ awful. Who decided to keep that on there? Bad, bad, bad choice . . . I almost always fall off the treadmill around mile 2 when that f*&%$ song comes on – it’s a safety hazard!)

I’ve even ignored the critiques of why you decided to skip over the pond and settle in Merry Ol’ England. Pssst. Have you heard what they’ve said? People say it’s because your celebrity had all but dried up here, and that it was an attempt to regain famousness or something. Whatever. That’s fine. I’ve seen your castle, so I understand. If I had oodles of money like you, I’d kill to live in a castle with stables (I used to ride hunter jumper, so I get it.)

So, you see, Madge, I’ve overlooked A LOT of stuff that many think I shouldn’t have. There is, however, one thing I CANNOT and WILL NOT ignore. I will rant about it here on my blog letter to you, too.

WHY MUST YOU CONTINUE KISSING WOMEN?!?!? WHY?!?!?!? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!?!?!? WHAT IS WITH THIS CRAP?!?!?

I mean, fine. You kissed Britney Spears, like, 10 years ago. Funny, that happened a little before her life and star power crumbled to the horror of tweens and adults.

Whatever. It was some HUGE deal, ’cause you’re the MADONNA of today (inverting all holiness) and she’s the little pop princess, brutally manufactured and stripped of a real life by her 40-something ueber-male management team and her revolting momma. I do wonder…were you sucking out her soul? Is that why Brit-Brit fell from her pop princess pillar?

Moving on…Here you are AGAIN, kissing some dancer chica. Sorry, dancer lady, that sounds sexist, but look at you, too! Madonna stuck her slithering white tongue down your throat! That makes you a little Chiquita in my book, so you’re to blame for the dismissive label(s), I’ve slapped onto you here.

To be sure, I couldn’t care less that it’s a picture of two women kissing. Whatever. If this were a picture of two unknown and (hopefully) happy lesbians, great. Good for them. But it’s yet another picture of you, Madonna, kissin’ a chick. It’s stupid. It’s not shocking, because it’s downright dumb. You’re NOT shocking us anymore, because you’re OVER. Why do I care? I care because I’m embarrassed for you. You are so obviously out of touch. This is comin’ from a tried and true fan, Madge! You’re painfully oblivious and this picture is proof!

Also, what’s with the arms?!? Is this yet another sign of your mid-life crisis or WHAT? You’re grabbin’ this dancer, as if you were a strong-armed dude, or have the mentality of a guy who just looked in the mirror and realized that he’s going bald, and for real! While you’re not a dude, you’re a frightfully strong-armed woman. Sh*t! If I were your children, I’d be super scared of those muscles. Do you have a meaner hook than her hubby? I bet you do…

What’s even more annoying, you won’t allow your own children to watch T.V. Yet you made your millions upon millions of dollars through manipulating, changing, re-inventing YOUR image on the TELEVISION. But then again, would you want Lourdes to see you here, suckin’ this lady’s soul out of her little dancer body? Probably not.

I beg you. Please, please stop doing this.

With all of my love and revulsion,

your ol’ fan,

C. Ryder