It’s been awhile since I’ve gotten some. A long while. A length of time I’d rather not reflect on. A time filled with evenings spent indulging in sweet snacks and crappy pizza delivery to fill a void in my life, my bed and my….well, you know. But as much as I would prefer booty to breadsticks (even with ranch), it just hasn’t been my time.

Dear god, what have I done to deserve this?!

I’ve been getting rather desperate and even considered drinking alone at a bar last night in order to muster up the courage to bring someone (ANYONE) home. Then I turned on a rerun of The Millionaire Matchmaker, lost my motivation to leave the house, and “took care of things” on my own instead. Again. For the 5th night in a row.

So I can totally understand the desperation and downright carnal need of this Michigan man who was caught and sentenced to 90 days in prison for having sex with (yes, with) a car wash vacuum. Long stretches without any lovin’ can make anyone go crazy…and find vacuums attractive. He just needed to get some, dammit! (And he’d know that “lady” wouldn’t spit… Too far? My bad.)

Anyways, while I can see where this guy was comin’ from, I just hope to god that my personal spell of dryness ends before I find myself spending my nights humping the washing machine in my dorm’s laundry room. Pray for me.

Big week. Huge.

First was St. Patrick’s Day. Then we spoke to both the Millionaire Matchmaker and last year’s Top Chef, Stephanie Izard (who are both much better female role models than some people out there). Then March Madness kicked off?

And we can’t possibly forget the brand spanking new CollegeCandy.com design. Hollerrrr.

We were so busy we barely had time to breathe, let alone sit at home and waste time online. It’s a good thing we have a giant purse; no need to stop at home when we can load everything from our books to our lip gloss in there. Although it might have been a good idea to leave the phone at home when we were out drinkin’ it up in honor of St. Pat. Drunk texts? Almost as awkward as waking up next to the weirdest guy ever.

Unfortch, the week wasn’t all good. Between all the fun we came to the realization that we have no future, that guys tell each other some intimate details, that Brazilians are going bye-bye, and that everyone’s boobs are growing but ours.

We also witnessed some seriously annoying couples on the way to class, and got stuck paying half the bill when we were out with a new guy. WTF?

We’ve been running on adrenaline since Sunday, which means a Friday night in bed. Movie night, anyone?

If it’s one thing we’ve learned here at CC, it’s that all people are fascinating (Yes, even your econ professor). Let’s face it – people love to glimpse into the lives of other people. Disagree? Then please explain why you’re currently looking at your friend’s brother’s girlfriend’s cousin’s photos on Facebook. Or reading about the latest Jessica Simpson dramz in this week’s tabloids. Yeah we thought so.

Fact is we connect to others by learning about them. And everyone has something to share (even if it a really embarassing fart story). So to give you yet another reason to procrastinate, we started ‘The Five Questions We Ask Everyone’ (and five just for that one person) because we know whether we’re schmoozing with an A- list celeb or your local bartender, you’ll be equally entertained.

We’re more than slightly obsessed with Bravo here at CollegeCandy. Stop by our apartment and take a peak at our DVR and you will find the following: The Real Housewives of NY, The Real Housewives of Orange County, Top Chef, Make Me a Supermodel and every freaking episode of The Millionaire Matchmaker. There is something about weird rich guys looking for love that gets us every time. And it helps that the matchmaker herself, Patti Stanger, is honest, hilarious and damn good at what she does.

We were honored (and jumping around the room) when Patti agreed to be part of our 5 questions series. Below she weighs in on the rules of dating, her show and her dreams for the dating scene in college. Read More »