Would you say goodbye to the FB?

Back in the ages of early social media, I turned to Facebook to find as many friends as I could before I went to college my freshman year. “Hey [insert name here], it says you are living in [insert dormitory here], like, OMG let’s meet up and do our laundry together or something!”

Facebook was there for all my major college needs, and I quickly came to depend on the status update to let people know I was really fun/cool/endearing, busily tagged myself in pictures, and coyly searched for the cute boy in my Spanish class…

Then things started to change.

The mom friend request. The 13-year-old sister friend request. The 13-year-old sister’s friend’s friend request. The sparkly new mini-feed, which loaded itself and pressured me into talking to people on Facebook I forgot I was friends with. (“Bill is lonely. Reconnect!” Um, Facebook? Chill your jets, Bill is lonely because he peed his bed Sunday morning after our first football home game.) And now, Facebook is begging you to check in with Facebook Places.

Oh, goody.
And by “goody” I mean, “WTF IS YOUR DEAL, FACEBOOK?!”

I can’t count how many times I wanted to meet the people who were changing the online community I had built, take them by the shoulders and shake the ‘idiot’ right out of them. How many times I drew a line in the sand and threatened to say goodbye to FB forever.

But would I really?

Well, that option is becoming reality as a barrage new social networks come our way. One of which will give us the opportunity to go back to the way things were so many years ago: college kids only.

An original Facebook supporter has invested in a new social site called CollegeOnly. And yes, the name of the site says it all: it’s restricted to college kids only, peeps.  And it does not plan on expanding or offering access to a non-college student demographic.  CollegeOnly will focus solely on the privacy of college kids and the freedom to not worry about future bosses seeing those pictures you were tagged in after power hour. A silly promotional picture for CollegeOnly even states, “I like your mom, but why is she poking me?” High-larious!

Sounds pretty great, right? Seems like a good enough reason to pack your bags tagged pictures and make the switch. But really, would you?

Although CollegeOnly sounds like an awesome place to spend a healthy chunk of my free time (because the privacy rules are the bomb.com), I’m having a difficult time (and experiencing pre-separation anxiety) seeing myself switch over. Even with all of my FB pet peeves. I’ve invested so much time into Facebook – building my network, loading my photos, coming up with witty status updates that people “like”… Do I really want to start all over again, even if it meant that my great aunt Ethel wouldn’t see my Pimps and Ho’s party photos??

What do you think?
Would you make the switch to CollegeOnly? Or does Facebook, despite all its downfalls, have a special (and permanent) place in your heart?

“There’s a ‘new’ Facebook?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he replied. “Is it bad that I want to go home right now just to try it out?”

“Definitely,” I responded. “Stay here and get drunk. New Facebook will be waiting when the bar closes.”

Facebook has had quite the impact on American pop culture. I mean, really? This guy wanted to leave the bar to try it!? Whenever there’s even a minimal change in the layout and operation of the social network, it causes an uproar.

Remember when mini-feed first popped up? Immediately, groups sprouted all over the internet:

“Down with Mini-Feed!”

“Boycott F/B if They Don’t Get Rid of Mini-Feed Immediately!”

“Facebook Makes Stalking Easier with Mini-Feed!”

You get the point. Of course, now we’re all used to the program, and many of us keep updated via mini-feed every day: “Hey, I saw on Mini-Feed that you got a new job, congratulations!”

So, even though I’m hesitant to add too many applications (I don’t like that we have to check a box giving the ‘application’ full access to the info in our profiles), and even though I’m fully content keeping tabs on my friends the “old way,” I decided to check out the hullabaloo that is The New Facebook.

The Initial Log In

Okay, at first glance, it just looks more… horizontal. News Feed is on the front page, but you can organize the layout by clicking the appropriate tabs: Top Stories, Status Updates, Photos, and Posted Items. Right now, I’m on the “Photos” tab. So I can see that a woman from my office was tagged in a work-related album, an old friend has been partying it up enough to be tagged in TWO new albums, and some girl I haven’t talked to in over a year added new photos to remember her first encounter at a local bar, which, personally, I think is an overrated drinking establishment. Each news feed story is accompanied by four sample photos from the respective albums.

Doesn’t regular Facebook do that too?

Only 30 seconds into “New Facebook,” and I’m already forgetting what “Old Facebook” is like.

My Profile

My profile is certainly wider. The top bar offers links to myself (but I’m already looking at my own profile?), Friends, Applications, and Inbox. Instead of viewing my whole profile in one go, however, there is also a tabs bar for me to choose from “Wall,” “Info,” and “Photos.” Hmmm… seems like a lot of clicking. Why can’t I see my wall AND my info on my own profile?

Wall is the default tab, apparently, and the layout features both wall posts and my status updates. Okay, this is different… but does it matter? I can see that yesterday, I wrote on two friends’ walls, on August 4th, I added the “Free Gifts” application, and my cousin was the last person to write on my wall. Yawn. Let’s move on to the stalking.

My Friend’s Profile

I decided to test out my friend Dave’s profile. My view of his profile is exactly the same as mine: his Wall is the default tab, with options to view his Info and Photos available. Again, his wall comments are intermingled with mini-feed. Yesterday, some girl wrote on his wall; on August 4th, he got three comments; on August 3rd, he was tagged in 11 photos. I think it’s strange that someone else’s wall would be my default. I mean, if I had just added Dave, my first introduction to his Facebook would be a bunch of comments from people that I may or may not know.

Personally, I like to see how people describe themselves and their favorite music, movies, etc. It feels a bit like eavesdropping to see these comments, even though they were posted on a public sphere. Maybe the rest of the Facebook-using world likes to write on someone’s wall immediately after having a friend request accepted, but now I feel like I’ll have to censor the inside jokes I drunkenly post on Dave’s wall, because the Wall is now in the F/B spotlight.

I think the only upside here is that you don’t have to scroll down pages of applications, bumper stickers, and SuperWall posts in order to find the place to write your own comments to your friends. (Editor’s Note: BIGGEST PET PEEVE EVER!)

Conclusion?

Before I could try New Facebook, a friend set her status to “…took only five minutes to realize she hates the new Facebook.” I don’t think it’s that bad, but I really don’t see all the rage about a “NEW” Facebook. I was expecting a cyber-adventure. What I found, really, was just a few more links to click on to surf around the social networking. I suppose if Facebook is a major method of procrastination for you, the new version is more time-consuming.

I write the following with the understanding that no matter how annoying Facebook can be, it will never be more annoying than Myspace. (Editor’s Note: I am not so sure…) And I will not stop using Facebook because of these things.

10. People You May Know. Otherwise known as “People that you don’t know well enough to be friends with”, “People who have rejected your friend request”, or “People you hate and would never friend even if their lives somehow depended on you friending them.” Facebook has been around long enough that if you haven’t found your friend yet, and he or she hasn’t found you, then you probably aren’t very good friends to begin with.

9. The Mini-Feed. Because you need constant reminder of the things you’ve recently done or said. Or applications you’ve added. Or songs you’ve listened to. Or things you’ve edited. The mini feed takes up like ¼ of your page (unless you are a dirty application whore: see below) and when you try to delete things, it keeps adding other things from days and weeks ago.

8. The Education and Work box. I say this is annoying, but it’s honestly the first thing I look at on someone else’s page. I do it because I am a masochist and I like to hurt myself by seeing how well these people that I hardly know are doing in places that I would love to move to.

7. Bikini profile pictures. Yes, you are young and skinny and attractive and you have great times at the beach with your girlfriends. I get it.

6. Picture-takers. One of my best friends is one of these people and has, last count, 60 photo albums on her page. 60! That’s not 60 pictures, 60 albums. And so, on any given day, there will be ten or twenty new pictures of her on my news feed. I love her to death, and I never tire of her face, but girlfriend has 1462 pictures on facebook. Seems a tad much.

5. People who spend too much time on facebook. And totally take over my news feed with twelve different, whiny status updates a day (“Douchebag Jones…is still in love with her.” “Douchebag Jones…wishes she knew how this feels”) and the copious addition of applications. Which leads me to…

4. People who update facebook with the minutiae of their lives. “Douchebag is sleeping”, “Douchebag is eating cheese” “Douchebag is playing World of Warcraft”. “Douchebag feels lonely”.

3. People who have way, way too many applications on their page. Applications make the page totally unreadable and impossible to navigate, not to mention totally obnoxious and boring. I propose a 5-application limit. Which leads me to…

2. Stupid g*ddamn applications. Flair, pin-up quizzes, movies, books, causes, werewolves, vampires, scrabulous, Entourage, super walls, heroes ability, which Sex and the City character are you?, lolcats, growing pets—all. too. much. And totally uninteresting to anyone that goes on your page. And honestly, do you keep up with them? My least favorite one is the compare people application, because there is always that one friend that is #1 in everything! Makes me feel like crap.

1. Application invites. They make me turn-into-the-hulk mad. I don’t want to be on your zombie army and I don’t care what stupid thing you have written on my fun wall. And if I wanted to see what superlative you nominated me for, I have to download the whole effing application to do so. And then the application tricks you into sending invites to everyone on your friends list who, if they are anything like me, will resent you for it. And I’ve yet to find the “turn off all application invites” option if such a thing exists.

Getting that off my chest should make me feel better, but I find myself so. tense. Maybe one of my friends will send me a FB drink to make me feel better….