You know what I love about being a girl? The fact that when we get aroused, there’s no awkward visible growth of body parts.

Well, thanks to lingerie companies, that’s all about to change.

A European lingerie company has invented a bra that boosts your cleavage when you’re aroused. That’s right, your girls will be lifted and pushed together whenever you start daydreaming about the hottie sitting across from you in lecture.

What’s the point.? Is it to get the object of your desire all hot and bothered, too? Maybe get somethin’ lifting over there? Or maybe to give you the extra confidence you need to get up and approach him?

I’m really not so sure (nor do I understand why women wouldn’t want their boobs to be nice and perky all the time), but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to try it. I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to have a physical reaction to someone, and for around $50, I finally can.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I always scoffed at people when they complained about taxes. “Please,” I would say, “how do you think the government pays for things, hmm? Money doesn’t grow on trees you know. Taxes are a good thing.” This never produced the result I was looking for. Instead of applauding my common sense, or giving me a cookie in appreciation (although I did always suggest this course of action), people rolled their eyes. They sighed. They complained about youth not knowing anything these days.

Now, over the course of my employment history, I have helped 70-year-old women try on bras. I have scooped ice cream for ten hours straight. I have swiped cards at my dining hall after rugby practice lets out and the guys are pulling said cards from the sweaty waistbands of their shorts (um, ew). I fact checked articles on light bulbs and dumpsters all summer. I work hard for my money, darn it, and losing a substantial portion to taxes does not make me happy.

The upcoming election is a hot topic, and the discussion of what’s going to happen to our taxes is part of the reason. People are already paying large portions of their income to our government and it’s always scary to try and figure out just what the next person in office is going to do to your paycheck. Instead of paying for the new suit you need for work, that money just might be sucked into the oblivion of our national deficit.

So what to do? Well, for starters, look at the candidates’ tax proposals. Yeah, you might think that Democrats usually lower taxes for us in the peanuts range of the income scale and Republicans mean tax breaks for the wealthy, but in reality it’s far more complicated. Read More »