[He Said/She Said is a new series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he’s really thinking. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…and unlike our fave dude, these guys won’t be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

Sex is like ice cream – it’s sweet, it’s sticky and it’s always better with hot fudge and whipped cream. Oh wait, that’s not where I was going with this. Let’s start again..

Sex is like ice cream – everyone’s got a favorite flavor. While some like Cookies ‘n Cream, others like Rum Raisin. And while some people like sex the good old fashioned way, others like to shake things up. Some like background music, others like a little dirty talkin‘. Some girls like a guy who is soft and sensual, while other girls crave hot, tie-me-up-and-take-control passion.

But no matter what we like, whether it’s lying there and enjoying the show or hopping on top for some Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, there are some things guys can do that just don’t fly between the sheets. Or on the desk. Or in the bathroom stall. Or….you get the point: Read More »

I think too much.  And when it comes to turning over the sheets, my mind goes into over-drive.  In fact, I have been known to ruin an entire sexual experience by thinking too much about the position I’m in – my physical movements, how big my thighs look, trying to read his thoughts like an Edward Cullen girl hybrid.

I’ve been looking for a cure for my problem for months.  Why can’t I just relax, sit back, and enjoy? What can I possibly do to block the free-flowing thoughts and get into the moment?  I know there is nothing emotionally wrong with me; I’m a normal girl and just like every other girl out there, my mind is riddled with thoughts.  Mine just happen to reproduce like a cluster of horny bunny rabbits whenever I get nakie and start doing the nasty.

Luckily, there is always a solution to my problems!  And this time, altering my mind may have a little something to do in altering my position.

A little back story:
While hiding from the Black Friday crowds in an empty bookstore last week, a certain title caught my eye. And that title was “Spectacular Sex Moves He’ll Never Forget.” I ducked down in the aisle and began flipping through, intrigued by the yoga-turned-sex moves I discovered. That night, fueled by some leftover wine, my boyfriend and I tried one out. And it was a night neither of us will soon forget.

Since then, we’ve been toying around with many fun and interesting new sex positions (which I’m sure will be even more fun when we’re no longer crashing in my parents’ basement) and I have to say, my sex life will never be the same. If you’re like me and tend to stick with the more traditional approach to sex (“I lie, you do all the work”), take it from me: it’s time to crack a book and get a little more adventurous between the sheets.

Why? I’m glad you asked. Read More »

It’s no secret among my friends that I like being treated aggressively in the bedroom, but sometimes, I feel like I’m the only girl I know who likes getting roughed up. Perhaps that’s because my sexual propensities really are that rare, but more likely, it’s because a taboo against BDSM still exists.

Rachel Kramer Bussel, who recently wrote on The Frisky about a newly discovered desire to be choked during sex, notes that “Women, especially feminists, aren’t supposed to say they like rough sex … [There's a] misconception that consensual BDSM is a precursor to violence.” That’s something I know all too well. Last year, I blogged about an instance of rough sex on my website, Sex and the Ivy. While my entries often receive mixed reviews (because some disagree with my decision to write publicly about my sex life), I was surprised by the number of commenters who were outraged by this piece. Some of the reactions included: Read More »

Sometimes I work out these elaborate sex scenes in my head. It’s like I’m a porn star-but even cooler cause I have more creative moves and not so much lip liner. I’m usually on my way to meet some potentially sexy dude when these fantasies take place. They’re like confidence assemblies in my mind. I’m usually wearing lacey panties and have embodied Shane from The L Word, except I’m straight. So me and sexy dude meet up, and invariably, we flirt over drinks. Alcohol does its job at making me even more sold on the idea of crazy sex moves while making me more incapable of them simultaneously.

Ohhhh, alcohol.

Lets skip to the part where sexy dude and I are about to do it. Read More »

As young, sexy singles (or not-so-singles), who doesn’t love a rousing bedroom session that gets the sweat running and the endorphins pumping at full speed? As I’m sure we all know, sex can easily fall into the routine category; kiss a little bit, feel eachother up, oral sex (if you’re lucky) and then it’s missionary, girl-on-top or the always faithful, doggy. And hey, those sessions can be fantastic, mind-blowing and all those other things, but aren’t there times when you want to break out of a rut and try something new and exciting?

Like, say that new position you read about in Cosmo that requires you to stand on your head while he balances on one foot?

I’m here to tell you, these positions, while alluring in theory are not only an excessive amount of work (that isn’t always worth that coveted “O”), they can even be hazardous to your health…anyone ever heard of a sex injury (or as my friends and I call it, a sexjury)? Read More »

Now, I like shirtless hot guys as much as the next person, but something about the Men on a Mission calendar freaks me out.

I’m not anti-religion, nor am I anti-Mormon (I actually know 3 Mormon guys, and none of them are weird or have a hankering for multiple wives), but there’s just something odd about staring lustfully at dudes who have pledged themselves to God, and have dedicated their lives to preaching pure beliefs.

According to the website, the calendar “features twelve handsome returned Mormon missionaries from across the United States who, for the first time ever, have dared to pose bare-chested.”

“These hunky young men of faith” the website goes on to say, “explode with sexuality on each calendar page.”

Besides questioning their use of the word “explode” (innuendo much?), I wonder why certain believers of the Mormon faith feel it’s so important to emphasize their sexuality?

Maybe because their religion has recently gotten a bad rap? Maybe some people see them as straight-laced and boring?

Maybe they just want to get half-naked for a good cause? Read More »