"Oh, I'm kicking that guy's ass? Poor guy..."

There are some things you should always apologize for, like being late to meet a friend, bumping into someone on the street, or accidentally running over your ex-boyfriend’s foot with your car (whoops).

But there are also some things that, as a woman, you shouldn’t have to say sorry for.  I don’t care what anyone says, but you should not be left feeling guilty for any of the following.

Beating a Guy at Sports: Sunk the winning shot in a battle of the sexes?  Poker faced your way to a win?  We’ve all been told not to beat men at sports so we don’t bruise their precious egos, but this is also not 1950, so don’t hold back and don’t apologize.

Bypassing Lines at Clubs: Don’t let the haters have you giving looks of remorse as the velvet ropes are lifted.  Flaunt it if you’ve got it!

Intelligence: Today’s “role models” may cultivate dumb blonde stereotypes, but a woman who hides her intelligence is not attractive.  Be proud of your smarts and don’t shy away from speaking your mind!

PMS: I’m not saying storm around like a juiced-up Godzilla, but don’t apologize for being a little testy when it’s the time of the month.  It’s not our fault Eve ate that apple, so curl up in the fetal position and bitch away.

Your Twilight Obsession: Don’t be ashamed that you obsess over a man that sparkles.  Who cares if you’re over the age of 16 and in love with Edward?

About a month and a half ago, I wrote about testing positive for Chlamydia. It’s been hard on me ever since then to really come to terms with it. Sure, it was easy to get rid of (just a few pills) and I don’t have to relive it by telling every past or future partner that I have an STD, but the worst part for me is the stigma. It is a sad but true fact that I chose not to tell anyone close to me. Not even my friends. I was afraid of being judged. No matter what kind of STD you get, curable or not, there is a stigma that comes along with being a person who has one.

I know, I’ve been one to judge before.

But now that I’m here – someone who had an STD – I know that not everyone who gets infected by a sexually transmitted disease is promiscuous or slutty. Unfortunately, many STDs are results of bad decisions. I made one and trusted someone I should have known better than to trust.

I’m lucky that I don’t have to tell anyone about what I had, but in an effort to be honest with someone I was seeing, I told him. At first he seemed happy that I was honest with him, but things changed and I knew he saw me differently. He saw me for the mistake I made instead of the person he had spent so long getting to know and with that little piece of information, everything changed.

I learned a lot from this experience, and the thing I learned the most is not to judge someone. If someone trusts you enough to share something about their life like that, don’t let that change the way you look at them. It is more than likely that he or she made one bad decision – one that you may have made many times with no repercussions – and are now living with the unfortunate results.

The other big lesson I’m taking from this is, of course, to be safe. Trust no one. Most people don’t even know they have something, so think twice before you let your libido make your decisions for you. An hour of fun is not worth a lifetime of regret.

[Photo courtesy of Amvollmar on Flickr.]

I too had just accepted a new job – right here at CollegeCandy – so I wrote back to let him know that I was also getting a new email address. And that my old bosses were pompous a**holes who didn’t know how to treat an intelligent (and hilarious!) woman with respect.

The next morning I learned that I had responded to all 156 people on that email list, many of whom were friends with my bosses (I’m Jewish…the community is small). I hid in my apartment with my cell phone off for four days, deathly afraid of my mistake coming back to haunt me.

Now, only a year later, the Google Gods have gone and created a new gift that could have saved me that horrible night. Rumor has it (though I have not seen it yet) that Gmail will now have an “Undo Send” feature. Yes, just like AOL did back in the day (but only if you were sending to other AOL-ers), you can now fix those one-unfixable email errors.

Send a naughty email to Aunt Ethel instead of Eric? Undo!
Send a mean email about Susan to Susan? UNDO!
Send a drunken email to the boy you like only to not remember in the morning? Well, first you have to remember, but then: UNDO!!

God, where was this last year…or that time I emailed someone to buy pot only to realize I had sent it to my TA? Talk about an awkward review session. Good thing it was my poetry T.A. – he ended up finding me a new hookup.

Spring break can be a carefree week of fun in the sun…or two days of fun followed by five days of waiting for your flight home. Make sure you make the most of SB 2009. And don’t do some of the stupid shizz I’ve done on March and April vacations past.

1. Don’t book your flight for an hour after your last class of the week ends.

Well, technically, my mistake was agreeing to drive my friend to the airport. Not only were we racing against time, but my car decided to act up as soon as we hit the highway. It started shaking and rattling when I tried to go over 60 mph, and, for fear of our lives, I was forced to drive in the slow lane as the clock ticked on. We made it, barely, thanks to the fact that our local airport takes about five minutes to clear security, but my friend was a bundle of nerves before she even took flight. Yeesh.

2. Don’t pregame at the airport.

We had an 90-minute layover at a small airport, so my friends and I plunked ourselves down at a bar just outside our gate. We had assigned seats anyway, so we figured we could pound a few brews and waltz onboard just before they closed the doors. Well, apparently, we couldn’t hear our names being paged over the airport intercoms, and walked up just before the door was closed on our flight (literally, airline personnel had their hand ON the latch). Again, we JUST made it, but had to face down evil looks from the rest of the passengers.

3. Don’t jump on the first “Spring Break Partayyy” you see.

My very first day of my very first spring break, my group of friends and I were solicited on the street by a party promoter. He was selling tickets to what he claimed was the wildest party of the week. You had to buy your tickets ahead of time (for like $75 a pop), but it was totally worth it (or so he said). Open-bar, all-night dance party? I couldn’t understand how the whole group didn’t jump at the chance! One girl and I were suckered in, and on our last night of vacation, we had to separate from our group. The party was fun, but we could have drank just as much and maybe even saved a few bucks if we had gone on the bar-and club-crawl with the rest of our friends. The next day, as we all nursed hangovers, everyone else had way better stories than I did. Oops.

4. Don’t start boozing too early.

That’s what spring break is all about, right? I knew a guy who was going on the same trip as me, with a different group of people. We were vacationing on a gorgeous island off the coast of Spain. My friend came back to the states with tales of daytrips, including visiting volcanoes. I came home with tales of drinking until four or five p.m., napping, and starting over for the night. Sure, it was relaxing, and it was a party. But I totally took Spain’s potential for granted.

5. Be sure you can spend seven days with the people you’re vacationing with.

If you and your roommate have been joined at the hip 24/7 all semester, and the “little things” are starting to get on each other’s nerves, you might need a (spring) break from each other. This isn’t always the case, of course, but it’s important to know that you won’t be at each other’s throats by the end of the week. Likewise, if you are a sightseeing kind of girl, and your cohorts are all about tacky tourist shops, you might not agree on each days’ agenda. The upside is that you might be pleasantly surprised- I did take a trip with a group of people I was friendly with, but didn’t know very well. We all had a blast getting to know each other, and though we all went back to our separate groups of friends when we returned, we all shared a special bond that lasted through graduation.

6. Be careful who you talk to.

Whether it’s a distant city or a foreign country, the possibilities are endless on spring break! I figured there was no harm done in flirting with a dude at a bar in a bustling city. We were having a great time- until the creep announced that I could buy his next drink, and reached into my purse for my wallet! I snatched it back and ran out of the bar, but it could have been worse. A LOT worse. Strangers + booze + unfamiliar turf = one more reason to stay on guard.

7. If you have a budget, stick to it.

I’m notorious to running out of cash and convincing myself it will be okay if I just charge everything for the rest of the trip. Not only am I prone to returning from a vacation to find myself overloaded catching up on work I didn’t do over the holiday, but I’m also super stressed to pay my bills on time, and usually have to pick up extra shifts at work that I just don’t have time for. In a foreign country? Freaking memorize that exchange rate!

8. Drunk dials from abroad= bad news.

I was in Europe. I was having soooo much fun. I wanted all of my friends back home to know it. So I called them with a calling card from various payphones. A calling card that wasn’t prepaid; it just went straight to my phone bill. Seriously, a postcard will suffice.

9. Don’t challenge the bartender.

Especially not a Spanish bartender, or waiter for that matter. In Barcelona, we fell in love with Sangria and thought we were hotshots when we ordered another jug at dinner. Little did we know that it’s customary in Spain for a restaurant to give you some dessert wine. The waitress laughed when we looked quizzically at the funny little pitcher with a long spout that she placed before us, then threw her head back and poured a perfect stream down her throat. We were toast.

At another Spanish restaurant, the waiter asked me how I liked my daiquiri with a huge smile on his face. I called his bluff: “It could be stronger,” I said. He returned with another drink that nearly made me choke. I swallowed, hard, and said, “It’s okay.” The waiter pulled a bottle of rum from his apron and free-poured into my glass. This cautionary tale also goes along with my suggestion that you don’t start drinking too early in the day.

10. Don’t overdo it on your last night.

The reasons? You oversleep the next day. Because you’re still drunk when you wake up, and in a rush to make your plane, you run out of your hotel room and forget a bag full of souvenirs and cute clothes you bought during the week. Oops. Because you’re late, you have fork out an unnecessary amount of cash to pay for a cab in order to get to the airport on time. Double oops. Oh, and did I mention flying hungover is a bitch?

I ask you, fellow CC’ers. What are some of your biggest spring break regrets, and how do you avoid making them this year?

I cheated on my last boyfriend.

No, it wasn’t a long, torrid love affair. It wasn’t kinky sex with a Jeremy Piven lookalike. In fact, there was no sex involved. All I did was make out with a co-worker. But still, cheating is cheating, so tonsil hockey still counts in my book. It also counted in my boyfriend’s book. And it counted in his sister’s book…and she was the one who witnessed the fiasco.

It was innocent enough; I didn’t intend to cheat. I wasn’t emotionally attached to my co-worker. We just got blackout drunk at a bar and swapped saliva for about half an hour.

The next morning, I woke up feeling like I’d done something wrong. Yup, I had. My boyfriend’s sister asked me if I remembered making out with “Frank.” Immediately, my heart sank. I got dizzy. I wanted to throw up. My mind started racing a mile a minute, as is standard anxiety-attack protocol. Why would I do something like that with Frank, a guy I had absolutely no interest in, when I was happy and in love with her brother?

A lot of people will disagree with me for saying this, but cheating can be hard on the cheater. I was ashamed of myself, I cried, and I regretted doing so many shots the night before. What’s a cheater to do when they’ve crossed the line with someone else?

1. Ask yourself if it meant anything. Did you cheat because you like the other guy? Do you want a relationship with him? Did you cheat because you aren’t happy with your current boyfriend? I think in my case, deep down, I was scared, because I was in the most serious relationship I’d ever been in. Things were moving fast, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to be shackled down and on the fast track to Housewifesville. I think that’s why I dabbled with a guy who meant nothing to me. But that’s my own conclusion. If you’ve cheated on any level (and there are some people out there who believe in emotional cheating as well), you need to get to the root of your own behavior before you can move on and deal with it with your man.

2. Weigh the options: To tell, or not to tell. I pretty much had to tell my boyfriend, because I am the dumbass who decided to cuckold her man in front of his sister. She probably would have told him if I hadn’t done it myself. That’s not to say that I wouldn’t have told, because my conscience gets to me if I snap at a telemarketer, and I probably would have been guilt-ridden for the remaining duration of my relationship if I’d kept it quiet. On the other hand, to what degree does “What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him” apply? Like I said, I wasn’t into my cheating-partner AT ALL. It never happened again, and Frank and I never talked about our random makeout sesh. So even though it meant nothing to Frank and me, it meant a lot of pain for my boyfriend. That said, you have to seriously consider all of the consequences and do what you think is most fair to your man. I’m not saying “Don’t tell him, and avoid being dumped,” because sorry, cheater, you brought this on yourself. But I do believe that there may be some instances where your man might be better off not knowing. That part’s up to you.

3. Talk to him. If you do decide to come clean, the “Hey, sweetie, I collected a DNA sample from another dude” talk isn’t going to be pretty. Telling the truth might be the moral way to go, but you have to realize that when you tell him you cheated, you are putting the ball completely in his court. From here, it’s really his decision as to whether you two work things out, or whether he kicks your ass to the curb. He might need some time to think about things, or you may have to have several discussions to work it out. You have to be patient with your guy– after all, you made the decision to cheat in the first place, so you’ll have to reap what you sew.

4. Prepare for the future. If you have the talk and decide to work things out, you have to commit to NOT cheating again, ever. If your guy can forgive you once, that’s great, but don’t test him a second time. Also, even if he does forgive you, it might be difficult (or even impossible) to get back to the way things were before. He might have difficulty trusting you, and, if he knows the guy you cheated with, he probably won’t want you hanging out with that guy again.

While it’s normal to have a few bumps in the road as you try to work things out, don’t let your guy guilt-trip you forever. Remember, you were honest enough to come clean and work things out, but you don’t deserve to have your mistake hanging over your head for the rest of your life. If you can work things out as mature adults, good for you. If you can’t, and he leaves you, it might suck for a while, but in the end, it was probably meant to be. Another guy will come along… and hopefully you will have learned your lesson and be more faithful the next time around.

And let us tell ya; with CC on your side, geek has never looked so chic.]

So your current computer/MP3 player/TV/thing that runs on electricity isn’t treating you right anymore. Or perhaps your friends are laughing at you for being trapped in the 90’s (“You still use film for your camera? That is so cute!”). For whatever reason it’s time for you to upgrade. Chances are you know what you’re doing, but just in case you don’t, here are some pointers:

DO: Know what you’re going in there to get. Srsly, don’t go in the store and say,“I’m looking for something to play my music on.” Ok, that’s great, would that be for your home, travel, or other? You can save time (and $$$) by being specific. “I need an mp3 player that’s sturdy with long battery life,” is more appropriate. This allows you take control of your shopping experience rather than be controlled by the sales associate.

DON’T: Go in there thinking that buying gadgets is just like buying a shirt. People make this mistake all the time. If you go into Macy’s and say that you want a red shirt they can show you what they have in stock and you can pretty much make a decision based on your personal knowledge of what does and doesn’t look good on your fabulous self. The same does not hold true for shiny tech stuff because everything looks good, but that doesn’t mean it all works well, epecially if you don’t know what you’re looking at to begin with. Which brings me to my next point.

DO: Your research. There are a thousand products out there that all do pretty much the same thing. There are slight (and not so slight) variations between products, but the important thing is not what the machine can do, but what are you going to use it for? Sure the LG Shine is a totally sw33t phone (mirror finish? Hello! Matches everything!) but are you going to use all of it’s features? Or do you use your cell mostly to make calls, drunk text people, and take photos of your friend’s ex with his new girl (who is such a skank!). If that’s all you use it for then you can go for a more cost efficient phone.

DON’T: Be talked into things that you don’t need. The sales associates are there to help you but they’re there to sell you things too. They’ll dazzle you with all the cool things that your potential new toy can do and then a month later you realize you don’t use it for half that stuff and you’re mourning the three hundred bucks you dropped on it.

DO: Stick to your price range. If you only want to spend $500 on a new HDTV and you’ve done your research, you know you can get what you need for that price so don’t spend over that. There’s always going to be something that’s a little bit better for a little bit more money, but if you don’t need it then why buy it? It’s ok to say no. But be reasonable and don’t have unrealistic expectations on spending. Remember you generally spend more for quality and/or name. Figure out which one you’re buying with your money before you get there.

DON’T: Go alone. If you really don’t know how to navigate the aisles of Geek World then take a friend who does. Just like when you brought your first car and your dad came with you to make sure you weren’t getting ripped off, this friend will do the same. Strength in numbers. And strength in someone telling you when you’re about to buy something really, really stupid.

These simple do’s and don’ts should keep you out of trouble and help you find the some techie awesomeness to fill your world (without completely emptying out your bank/loading up on crap)

Happy shopping!

[Image courtesy of cnet.com]

There are several types of college relationships that have an urban legend-esque feel to them: the sexy school girl and the married professor, the sexy school girl and the teaching assistant, and, of course, the sexy school girl and the resident assistant.

I have never hooked up with one of my RAs, but that’s because I’ve only ever had female RA’s. Still, I know plenty of people who have dabbled in these waters. I’m not here to condone or condemn the practice, because I’ve certainly had my fair share of regrettable trysts, but I am here to lay out some of the baggage that comes with such a hook up.

First of all, consider the fact that even inter-floor mating can lead to year-long awkwardness. If you fear the inevitable walk of shame, imagine the anxiety that comes with the chance that one of your floormates sees you leaving the RA’s room in last night’s bar clothes. Even if you survive the W.O.S, you risk the rumors and reputation — people are more apt to label someone “the girl that banged the RA” than “the chick who nailed whatshisname in 5B.” Even worse, if you can’t handle the tension of a chance meeting on the elevator (or on the way to the showers), you are biting off more than you can chew with by shacking up with your RA.

Your RA is someone you will probably have to turn to throughout the year. He’ll be the one to let you into your room when you are locked out wearing only a towel. This means he also has the master key to your room (not implying anything, just saying). He’s also someone who will have to keep tabs on you throughout the year. He’ll be writing you up for dorm parties, open containers, and that hole in your wall that you forgot to fix before move-out day. This fact alone can open up a brand new can of worms in Relationship Land.

If he feels insecure about the hook-up, there’s a chance he goes on a power trip to get even. I’m not saying all RA’s are scumbags, but it’s a possibility. There’s also the possibility that you feel insecure, and blow things out of proportion: Is he writing me up because I never called him again? Yet another possibility is that you are overly confident: He won’t write me up, because I slipped him some poon, and end up getting yourself into trouble by thinking dorm rules don’t apply to you.

If you do get busted by your RA after having (or continuing to have) a relationship with him, it makes him doing his job more personal as well. Maybe he stops by to say hello and notices a box of Franzia on your desk on your “dry” floor. He puts his job first and makes you pour it out and writes you up. Do you really want any more emotions stacked on top of the pain of losing all of that perfectly good alcohol?

On the other hand, RA’s are people too. Many of them sign up to save money on housing– and I think saving money in college is something we can all relate to. I’ve known some really cool RA’s in the past, and some of them are so laid back, you don’t even realize that technically, they are in charge of the floor. If there is a real connection between you and your RA, who’s to say it can’t work out? Besides, he’ll most likely have a single (a rarity in dormland), so you won’t have to worry about a roommate barging in. In that case, I recommend having an adult conversation and weighing the pros and cons of pursuing your feelings, or even looking into swapping floors for future semesters. You might also want to find out if he has a reputation for seducing his advisees Van-Wilder-Style before you get in too deep.

In my experience (or my friends’ experiences, rather), the RA hookup is a bad idea. There are plenty of other fellas on campus to make regrets out of, so why make a mistake with someone who is pretty much in charge of your living quarters? Still, it’s always best to trust your intuition, and see where that takes you.

For the record, I also don’t advise going shot for shot in a foreign country with your orientation leader, but that’s a whole new set of wisdom.

And I know you think I’m just being melodramatic, but I was legit depressed. Not for a lack of jeans, I have a great variety in my closet. But I ONLY wore these two pairs. The rest are a size too big, or a size too small; these babies have always been just right. And I’d never entertained the thought of having to give ‘em up.

So, I decided to take the next logical step: deny the hole, and continue to wear the jeans. Unfortunately, the hole that I was now modeling garnered more attention than I’d anticipated. After a few “Are those crotchless jeans?” I knew it was necessary to fix ‘em, or nix ‘em.

Had I know about Denim Therapy, my next step would have been easy and my denim-life would be sweet right now. Denim Therapy specializes in reconstructing torn or damaged jeans with some shnazzy technique not possessed by tailors.

But this genius entity was useless to me a few months ago, because nobody told me about it! So, I took my wounded babies to my ordinary tailor, who we will now refer to as The Devil. Well, The Devil told me he could fix them—no prob.

I returned three days later to pick them up. And after The Devil inappropriately asked me if the jeans had ripped because I had “thick thighs,” I jetted home to try them on.

The Devil totally screwed me.

The problem: one-inch holes on the inner thigh of the jeans. Satan’s solution: he decided to cut out the entire crotch—and replace my premium denim with some cheap, stiff material, which also happened to be 5 shades darker than my jeans. How heinous is that shit!? Basically, if I wore the jeans, I’d looked like I pissed myself.

If you, too, have an evil tailor, I’d turn to Denim Therapy to fix up your beloveds. Your jeans will get a hell of a lot more attention from the pros at DT than they would at any tailor. Each pair of jeans is evaluated to determine the proper method of reconstruction. Then, Denim Therapy uses “a unique reconstructive technique that places new cotton fibers into the existing denim fabric to replace the undesirable holes.” Yep, that means no patches!

And, it only costs $7 per inch of holes or damage, plus shipping. I paid $30 per pair of now-ruined jeans.

Please learn from my mistake, because your prized jeans deserve more than a tailor’s touch.