Dear Dude,

I’ve been hanging out with a guy for a little over three months. We were inseparable almost from the start. When we weren’t at each others’ apartments, we were texting so a day never went by without us communicating in some way. HOWEVER, we were not dating because he “doesn’t date.” We never agreed to be exclusive and only promised to be forthcoming if things got physical with another person (it never did). Every once in a while he would make a comment about how hurt he was by his last long-term relationship and that he wasn’t interested in pursing something like that again. I know that this should have been a huge warning sign but I got caught up in how easy it was just being with him. Also, to make it clear, most of the time he seemed to be really invested in what we had together which always seemed to be a little more than casual sex.

This changed about two weeks ago. Suddenly, it seemed like I was a burden to him. I would come over and he would be standoffish and silent. I was worried that I was crowding him so I’d offer to go home but he always said that it was my choice if I wanted to stay or leave. I almost always stayed because I enjoy being around him and he would eventually unwind and act normally. Read More »

Q: As I sit here writing this, I’m confused at every feeling I am possibly feeling.. I have this “friend” we will call Fred. I had the biggest crush on Fred, even though he has a kid (this just makes me a bit uneasy, I’m only 21. I don’t want to be tied down like that if things did progress, but I regress.) I liked him, but he never seemed to initiate anything, but via texts he was flirty.

Two or three months went by and I was in a relationship that abruptly ended. Since nothing had progressed with Fred I felt like he was just a platonic friend and vented to him. He was amazingly supportive and said everything I wanted to hear (i.e. he was a real jerk, I don’t know what you ever saw in him, you deserve better, yadda yadda…). Well this kind of opened my eyes to Fred more and I developed a bit of a crush on him again.

He started coming over to my apartment to watch our favorite tv show. The first time we did this, we made out, things started getting intense and I ended it. He came over again and we made out again, but my roommate was here, so nothing else happened. When he left, we kissed and he promised he’d call and come pick me up the next day.

His plans changed, so we didn’t get together (but he had a good excuse, if that matters), then the next day I sent him a text and he responded, but not as quickly as he normally did. Now comes today, I didn’t text him to see if he would text me and he hasn’t. Am I being paranoid or is he trying to shoo me off?

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We’re all guilty of picking up a Cosmo and perusing its pages, even if it’s just while standing in line at the grocery store (“I need to know the 834,394th hottest and steamiest sex tip!”).

But when you rrrrreally, rrrrreally read through the “journalism,” you realize just how fantastically talented these editors are at sending mixed messages left and right to their female readership.

By the last page, it’s like, actually insulting.

They obviously want to appear as though they represent for the ladies, but in reality, are they taking us ladies for fools?

Jezebel.com talks about the recent issue of Cosmo with J. Alba on the cover – and in this issue, they go from this:

Man Manual: What Will Really Impress Him, page 80

“Sure you’re sexy, smart, and fun..but so are a lot of other chicks. To really stand out from the pack, it helps to have that something extra — qualities that make a guy go ‘This girl is freakin’ awesome!’ You’ll be that much hotter to him if…”

To this: Read More »