No, Smirnoff shots don’t count, people.

Here’s how to order a fun, fresh type of cocktail. Sure they might rack up your bill a bit more than those Dollar Pitchers, but they’re guaranteed to slow you down from slugging back shots and pounding brews. And, most importantly, they taste good. Like, really, really good.

Leave your favorites (and least favorites!) in the comments. Oh, and I obviously left off Cosmopolitans. They are just so creepy Sex and the City cougarific.

10. Long Island Iced Tea
Trying to get the most bang for your buck? The Long Island Iced Tea is the way to go! Sure, it may not be the tastiest, nor the smartest option, but it’ll sure give you the most for your money with tequila, rum, gin and triple sec all in one glass.

9. Margaritas (Pomegranate, Raspberry, Strawberry, oooh!)
Spice up your routine by asking for a fun flavor. I’m partial to raspberry, but some bars can even make banana or mango margs. Yumm!

8. Mai Tais
Almond amazingness. Sip these by the pool all day and skip the Cuervo.

7. Mojito
An absolute necessity to perfect if you want to impress your guests. This fantastic minty, sugary drink goes down easy and is one of the best summertime treats.

6. Woo Woo!
Sick of Sex on the Beaches? Simplify with a woo woo and drink up!

5. Cape Codder (simply: vodka cran)
Not a big fan of carbonation? Me either. This is why I stick with the Vodka-Cranberry-Slice o lime classic.

4. Peartini
Seriously, I didn’t even know they made Pear vodka... amazing plus amazing.

3. Passion Pop Rocks Martini
Sounds crazy? Well check out this entire bevy of bizzare beverages! From Ham and Cheese (ew) to Chocolate Truffle (yum), this article lists some of the most nutty drinks ever.

2. Espresso Martini
Mmm Godiva liquer and espresso-y drinks? If you can’t get enough of a caffeine fix from your Starbucks run in the morning, afternoon and, okay, in the afternoon again, bring your love of the coffee bean to the bar and sip on these lovely martinis.

1. Lindsay Lohan
Okay, so I made an exception. This is a shot, but it’s too good not to share. Ask your bartender for a Lindsay Lohan. If he asks what it is, just say, “I need a red headed slut shot with a little bit of coke.” Disco.

Upon arriving on campus we immediately headed to lunch where we began our meal with a Bloody Mary and some Mojitos. It was at that moment that I realized our leisurely Saturday afternoon was going to be anything but.

The combination of the rum pumping through my veins and my excitement at being back on campus got me feeling all nostalgic. I missed campus, I missed my friends, and, most of all, I missed getting completely sh*tcanned before a football game.

So we followed our hearts and decided to do it up college style.

I chugged Franzia with some frat boys (“BABIES! You can’t chug for your life!”), downed Boones Farm with my friends – and that was before we even left the lawn. I had a 40 on my way to the game, which I shared with some random band playing on a porch that belonged to people I did not know. And I sang bad 80’s songs into the mic.

I heckled people on my way to the game, took a swig from some random kid’s flask and stole a hot dog from the stand right outside of the stadium. We eventually made it to the game and as I sat in the hot sun watching my team lose (which wasn’t painful enough already), I patiently awaited the hangover from hell.

But the hangover never came! So, naturally, my friend and I decided to keep going. We stopped for some much needed pizza and nachos, picked up some more Boones and headed out for round 2 (in our sweaty game day clothes).

I drank more college kids under the table (a fact I am quite proud of) and even busted out my killer dance moves. I was feeling great. “I STILL GOT IT!” I screamed to anyone who would listen.

But now it is Monday. And I can’t get out of bed. In fact, I have only gotten up twice since returning from my College Day in Ann Arbor and that was to puke and to hydrate. My legs hurt. My arms hurt. My liver hurts.

Staring at the ceiling while a little man in my head hammers away on my skull I have come to a realization: I don’t still got “it,” unless “it” is a massive hangover.

I may be good at some things, but drinking like a college kid is not one of them. I tip my hat to you, college ladies. Enjoy your last night of Welcome Week and be sure to drink some boxed wine for me. I’ll be here watching 90210 reruns on Soap Net and willing myself out of bed.

If one of your fantasises includes the perfect summer drink, CC has come up with a list of A+ cocktails to make yourself or order at your favorite outdoor bar.

Fortunately, for all you weight watchers out there, there are some simple and tasty low-cal cocktails that everyone can love without fearing the love handles.

Cherry Pom-arita — A measly 105 calories!

Ingredients:

1.5 oz. tequila

4 oz. Diet 7UP (or another diet lemon-lime soda)

1 tbsp. fresh lime juice

1/2 packet Crystal Light On The Go Immunity Cherry Pomegranate drink mix

ice cubes (for serving)

Directions:

Place tequila, soda and lime juice in a glass. Empty half of the flavor packet into glass, and stir well to combine. Pour over ice and enjoy! (Note: If you don’t like the Pom flavor, try any Crystal Light powder. They are all super delicious.)

Razzle-Tini — 75 Calories

Ingredients:

4 oz. 7-Up Plus Soda

1 oz. Sugar Free Raspberry Torani Syrup

1 oz. vodka

Directions:

Shake with ice. Pour into cute martini glass. Down it.

Or simply go with an old favorite:

The Mojito — Only 132 calories!

Ingredients:

1.5 oz. rum

1/2 oz. lime juice

2 tsp. sugar (you can cut even more calories by using Splenda!)

Crushed mint

Ice

Directions:

Mash the mint, add the rum, lime juice and sugar, shake and pour over ice. Mmmm mmm.

If all else fails, there is always Bacardi and Diet (90 calories) or light beer (Amstel Light only has 90 calories!). Or, take some shots. Only 120 calories each.

Happy drinking!

(Thanks to hungrygirl.com for the delicious recipes!)

But what if you were one of the many who didn’t do anything special? One of the many who stayed home with nowhere to go, or anyone you really felt like hanging out with?

Then you’d be me.

You see, this 4th of July I was sick. Real sick. A narcoleptic coughing, sneezing, melty-eyed kind of sick. Who knows how I got it. Germs are everywhere in this city. I probably caught it from the pharmacist who handed me my hand sanitizer.

In any case, the plans I had made to grill chicken and watch the fireworks by the water with friends were down the toilet. At least for me.

So what did I do? Well, I watched TV for a while. And then I made some hot dogs because I wanted to try and stay in the spirit of 4th of July grilling. And then I got caught in the middle of a huge fight.

I mean, basically.

You see, my neighbors (the loud, popped collars I’ve told you about) were having a huge outdoor holiday bash. Even though I couldn’t really see what was going on, I could hear it. Pretty much your typical rich kid frat party stuff (screams, yells, cell phones going off, blackberries being shouted into) until someone threw a bottle.

Right into the apartment below us.

Quicker than Paris Hilton’s recent personality change, the downstairs neighbors came out and started screaming at the frat boy party. Apparently, someone had been hit with the bottle. While she was taking out the trash.

Sure, I was sick and half blind from fatigue, but I know a good fight when I hear one. Mustering up all my available strength, I hoisted myself (and the mojito I was nursing all night) onto the fire escape to watch the action.

The irate, bottle struck neighbors were screaming about lawyers and cops and blood and court loud enough to make the entire frat party settle into a frightened, “Help-Me-Mommy!” silence.

“Shit” some girl whispered to her friend on the frat boy party fire escape, “I don’t wanna go to jail. Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

The girls tried to leave, but were stopped dead in their tracks when the downstairs neighbors loudly signaled them out.

“Did you bitches throw that bottle?” A man screamed. “Did you drunk bitches throw that bottle!?”

And then all hell broke loose. A few wasted frat boys found their chivalry bone and started yelling back, telling my downstairs neighbors not to call their friends bitches. Some racial slurs were thrown in, as well as some threats to “cut people up”.

I wonder if these people are really going to lose it, I thought, sipping my watery mojito and trying not to sniff too loud, I wonder if there’s really going to be a throw down in the trash area of my apartment complex.

“Hey you, girl!”

My thoughts were immediately interrupted. The downstairs neighbors had noticed me in all of my pajama-ed glory.

“Girl, did you see who threw that bottle?”

Everyone was suddenly staring at me. Frat boys and party girls and the downstairs neighbors and even a few other people who had opened their windows at the noise. I was frozen. I needed to sneeze. I was in my pj’s.

Somewhere, far away, fireworks were going off.

“No…” I managed to cough out. “I…I just stepped out for air. I’m…I’m sick. I’ve been inside all night…drinking out of this jelly jar.”

I’m not sure what prompted me to include the part about my extracurricular jar drinking activities. It could have been the NyQuil.

“You sure, girl? Haven’t you been out here all this time?”

“Whatever” the woman who was supposedly hit with the bottle sighed, waving me away with her hand. “She didn’t see nothin. Who cares. Fuck it. It’s the 4th of July. Everyone’s throwing goddamn bottles.”

And with that, she went inside, turned up some crazy techno beat, and the argument was dropped.

Shortly after I managed to quietly stuff myself back inside my window and lie down on my bed, where I immediately promised myself I would never again go out onto the fire escape in a giant T-shirt with tree frogs all over it.

Just as I was drifting into a medically induced daze, six quick explosions rocked the apartment.

Apparently, someone had set off fireworks in the hallway.

I know that may seem totally inappropriate – especially considering the countless people who have lost their lives for this country – but come on! No work, warm weather and BBQing outside create the perfect day for a cocktail…or 5.

You could do the “American Thing” and sit back with some beer and burgers. Or you could try something new, fresh and totally delicious. Like this amazing Pear Mojito. Nothing says warm weather like a cool and refreshing Mojito (mmm ruuuuum) and adding pear to the mix really kicks up the amazing flavor.

The recipe may be a bit more complicated than simply cracking open some Bud Light, but it is worth it.

What you will need:

- 1 1/2 parts white rum

- 1 part fresh squeezed lime juice

- 2 parts freshly extracted pear nectar

- 1 part simple syrup

- 4 sprigs mint

- seltzer

How you make it happen:

Add rum, simple syrup, lime juice, pear nectar and 3 sprigs mint to shaker smash it all together. Strain it all into an ice filled glass. Top with seltzer, a sprig of mint and slice of pear. Drink. Repeat as necessary.

And if you get a little too sauced to make it again, you can revert back to the American Way and grab yourself a brewski.