All hail Parents Weekend! At some colleges, parents have already graced your dirty dorms with their angelic presence, while other schools celebrate this unofficial holiday in early and late October. Regardless of whether mom and dad have come and gone or have yet to come, we’ve got all the basics to keep floating well above the water during Parents Weekend!

When I was a freshman, I could not wait to see my parents. It was the first sight of normalcy I’d seen in weeks after living with my super crazy psycho roommate. Seriously guys, don’t screw this up!

First, there are a couple of simple rules to follow when hoping to master Parents Weekend. Since mom and dad are going to spoil you silly with gifts, homemade favorites, dinner at your restaurant of choice (we all know you’re picking the most expensive) and maybe even a mini-shopping spree to get you those must-have dorm and wardrobe necessities, we’ve got a detailed list of a few subtle ways to give back. Read More »

Finally! I get to settle somewhere!

After a week long trip, complete with a surplus of roadkilled armadillos and a 24-hour stomach bug that caused me to projectile vomit on a cactus in New Mexico, I have finally made it to California.

First things, first though. Just because I’m living in “Southern California” doesn’t mean I’m living in Los Angeles (I’m living in Newport Beach). Everyone I have met along the way has not realized this, but this state is gigantic. And just because I’m moving out to California doesn’t mean that I am here to get on The Hills (I’m pretty sure I could take Kristin, though) or find a husband to marry and get on The Real Housewives of Orange County. It’s not just what the media portrays … especially when you’re living with parents.

One of the hardest transitions will definitely be residing with my dad. I haven’t lived with him since the ‘90s, when I was rocking clothes from The Limited Too and speaking in a British accent like my idols, the Spice Girls. In fact, I haven’t even seen my dad that much since my parents divorced and I moved to Georgia. How are you supposed to make up for lost time when more than decade has gone by? My memories with my dad are from my childhood. And now – hello – I’m out of college and on a war path to become a successful force in the world of law. Times have changed.

Even though it’s kind of awkward to get used to living with him, I’m happy for the experience and whatever may come from it. This is my chance to not only prepare for my future and my career, but I get the opportunity to live on the opposite side of the country while getting to know my dad as he is today, and he can get to know me as a 22-year-old woman instead of a ten year old girl. And hopefully, even though both of us are stuck in our ways, we don’t butt heads too much along the way. Read More »

So that time of year is creeping up on us. The time when we must throw some clothes into duffel, fill the rest of the bag with dirty laundry, kiss our roommate and our bottle of vodka goodbye, and head home for fall break.

Yes, there are many up-sides to this little trip: we get a break from all the homework, we get to eat something other then cafeteria mystery meat for a change, and we get to curl up with Scruffy on the couch for a couple of days.

But with the comfort of being home comes a few downers as well. And I’m not talking about being woken up at 9am on a Saturday or having to empty the dishwasher. It’s those little comments from mom and dad that really get under your skin. And no matter how hard you try to be nice, you just can’t help but snap, say something mean and beeline to the car/airport (clean clothes and leftovers in hand, obvi) as soon as humanly possible.

Here are a few of the worst offenders:

“Honey, your pants look a little tight”
Yes mom, I realize that drinking 5 days out of the week and eating delivery pizza has done a number on my waistline. Am I happy about it? No. Do I know it is there? Yes. Is it helping that you pinch the muffin top and poke the underarm flab? Absolutely not!

“Have you found a nice boy yet?”
If by “nice” you mean “a tall pre-med student who considers hanging out in the library fun,” then no, dad, I have not found your ideal son-in-law quite yet. But I have hooked up with a couple of the guys on the football team who can barely form coherent sentences but have 8-pack stomachs you can bounce a quarter off of, if that counts for anything. Read More »

It’s Parent Weekend, or your birthday, or just a Thursday night and you’re craving a free meal a la parentals. Either way, your parents are coming to campus and that means one thing and one thing only: it’s time to clean.

It’s not like your place is dirty – at least by your standards – but something about having mom and dad sit on that couch (where your roommate hooked up last night and – oh! – her bra is stuffed between the cushions) is just not right.
You don’t need your parents seeing the cans from last night’s impromptu party, or the empty Doritos bags littering your
bedroom floor.

You run home from class/work and get moving on the deep clean. You start with your bedroom. You fold all of the clothes that have been piled on your floor for three weeks and put them away.  After you make your bed, you decide some vacuuming is in order. Good idea, too, as you find some less than parent-friendly goodies (your bowl or some empty condom wrappers, perhaps?) under the bed. You remove the dirty dishes (AKA the cereal bowl from last week filled with congealed milk) from your desk and replace them with books and binders. Read More »

The only thing harder than saying goodbye to your roommate for the summer is packing up your dorm… and mopping all of the dried beer of the floor.  And scrubbing your desk where pizza sauce has been encrusted for months. And figuring out how to pack it all into your two-door.  Yeah, moving out sucks.  But moving IN with your parents again… well, let’s face it.  It rocks.

Here are my top ten faves about crashing with Mom and Dad for three months.  What are yours?

1.  You can live with your parents without looking like a deadbeat loser.

You have an excuse: You’re still in college and the dorms closed.  If you were 35 and working at the Venus Club and living with the ‘rents… you might belong on Jerry Springer.  But there’s nothing shameful about going back to your teenage years and living under their roof for one more summer.

2.  You’re a legal adult now.

Maybe your parents tried to force some strict rules on you in high school, and you vowed to move out asap.  But now, you’re an adult.  So even if they try to enforce a curfew, you at least have the “I’m a grown up” argument, which can be bolstered with “I just made Dean’s List,” or “In college, you aren’t keeping tabs on me and I made it home alive, didn’t I?” Plus, a lot of parents won’t even pick that fight, because they realize that you are an adult, you are a responsible collegiate, and they don’t want to know what happens on spring break. Read More »

A few summers ago I shared an apartment with 5 other girls while we all worked on campus giving tours and orientating incoming freshmen.

I didn’t know any of them going into the summer, but by the time August rolled around we were good friends and there was a few things that had slipped into my sub-conscious:

1) Hummus and pita chips is a suitable replacement for any meal.

2) Cockroaches can find their way into your fridge if you don’t clean.

3) If you see a guy who’s totally hot, but old enough to be your dad you can slyly alert your friends to it by saying “Hog!”

What is a H.O.G.? A Hot Old Guy.

Check out the H.O.G. gallery after the jump! Read More »