Hi Mom, it’s me.  Your first born.  So I saw you’ve gone ahead and made yourself a Facebook account.  Fabulous.  While I fully support the older generation hijacking their way onto what was once my favorite social networking site, I’d really like it if you adhered to a few guidelines before going buck wild with all those bumper stickers I know you’re dying to send people.

Really, it’s just a few things to be mindful of while uploading daily inspirational quotes.  Think of this as a handbook of helpful suggestions, not a list of strict rules and regulations.

1. Private messaging is a beautiful thing. I don’t want to know what’s going on between you and you high school sweetheart or why you don’t list that you’ve been married to dad for the past 35 years.  Your wall is for things you want the WORLD to see.  If it’s not on the up-and-up, make sure your conversations remain private.

2. I know who you are. Speaking of messaging, when you leave a note on my wall, you don’t need to include “Love, Mom.” I see your picture. I see your name. I know it’s you.

3. Don’t add anyone who you don’t actually know. I don’t want to worry when I see that you’re now friends with Ganjup Nepsal and Tikizi Hanazulu, two men who I’m sure told you how proficient they are in international banking.  Wanna know a secret?  They’re lying.

4. No baby photos. Spit-up is never cute.  Regardless of what you say, my head was amazingly too large for my tiny baby body.  Did I mention my head was covered in bright orange hair?  And that you took to dressing me in a variety of fancy plaid dresses?  There’s a reason why I hide the photo albums when my boyfriend comes over.  Some things are better left on a need-to-know basis. Read More »

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Check out this website. It’s hysterical and it’s the story. of. my. life. Every week, I write CollegeCandy’s Weekly 10 on the hard hitting issues of the moment. Issue of the week (Or maybe the issue of our generation as a whole)? Parentals on Facebook.

My mom is a very cool, tech savvy lady. She even had a Twitter before I did (and she loves to remind me of this) and is totally engrossed in Facebook. My dad also has a Facebook, but uses it much more sparingly. However, he has managed to comment on a picture of mine saying, “Look at my beautiful daughter! And smart too!” A good guy friend of mine observed that it seemed like he was trying to auction me off. Via Facebook. Let’s not even discuss the debacle when he scanned a baby picture of my sister and put it on her wall.

However, between my parents, my mom is hands-down the most Facebook happy person I know. Many of my friends add her, and she immediately accepts and writes on their wall to remind them to “eat their vegetables.” She also uses the “like” feature as if she needs it to continue breathing.

I’m sad to say that I occasionally delete what my mom says on my wall, you know, because I value my social life, but here are my 10 favorite gems thanks to good ol’ Mom. Read More »