Most of us don’t appreciate our mothers as much as we should. In fact, I’m pretty sure Kanye West was the only person ever to truly idolize and appreciate everything his mother did for him. I mean, the guy wrote her a song! And what did you do? Buy the woman some almost-dead tulips?!

Not only did those women push us out of their very narrow birth canal, but they’ve been doting on us ever since. Mothers have the hardest job in the world (2nd hardest: working in a chocolate shop and not eating any) and are constantly called upon to do more and more and more.

And they do it with grace.

Yet, they also usually do it without thanks. So, in honor of Mother’s Day this Sunday, I called upon the CollegeCandy writers to share their favorite things about the most important woman in their lives: mama. Because no matter how annoying she can get (especially now that she’s on Facebook), your mama loves you and you gotta show that love right back.

Share your love for mom in the comments section below (then show mom your comment as a nice, free Mother’s Day Gift….awwwww). Read More »

We love our mothers unconditionally. No matter how angry we get at them or how embarrassed our mothers make us, we continue to be on their side. They can yell at us, criticize us or even spend over $15,000 on plastic surgery in attempt to look like our identical twin and we will still love ‘em anyway. Wait, that last one has never happened to you?

Okay, maybe your mother hasn’t gone to the extreme like Jane Cunliffe’s mom, Janet, who believes that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Sure, your mother hasn’t spent thousands of dollars to change her nose, lips, breasts, hair and clothes, only to be mistaken as your younger sister. That was a bad example, but I’m sure she’s done something embarrassing that you’ve forgiven her for.

Nothing comes to mind? Well, I have ten “I-could-kill-you-I’m-so-embarrassed” moments below. Let me refresh your memory for you. If I forgot anything, please leave it in the comments, I like to know I’m not alone.

Moms are embarrassing when they…

1. Drive you to school in their pajamas.

2. Dress like you.  Juicy sweatsuits and belly shirts aren’t PTA appropriate!

3. Pull a Dina Lohan and gets all stage-mom on you.

4. Flirt with your friend’s fathers. Or your friends…

5. Lecture or yell at your friends.

6. Still lick their thumbs to wipe something off your face. For the last time, its a freckle and I’m 22 years old!

7. Try to set you up with anything with a penis.

8. Make awkward sexual jokes.

9. Wear Mom jeans. Enough said.

10. Use words like “underpants” in public.

Beware, your mother is on now Facebook. You don’t believe me? Well, CNN has the proof. They are reporting that women over 55 are the fastest growing group on Facebook. That’s right, your mother is sending you a friend request at this very moment.

Maybe you’re part of that lucky minority who hasn’t received that email yet, the email that will crush your boundaries and make you curse the social network’s very existence. That may be true, but your mom may still be just a click away from invading your personal Facebook space.  Studies show that “there are now about 1.5 million female users older than 55 on the site — roughly a 550 percent increase over six months ago.”

Unfortunately, my mother is among this statistic. Read More »

Last night’s episode of Project Runway was strange without Blayne. No “icious,” no hot pink sweatshirts… I felt bad that he had to leave, but I know he is happily lying in a tanning bed somewhere, soaking up the artificial rays.

We are down to six designers now, but only one of them really has any talent: Korto. The rest are just sorta coasting by with their crappy designs, poor quality and total lack of a fashion sense. And that couldn’t have been more obvious than in last night’s challenge.

The challenge was actually an interesting one that we can all connect to. The designers were to create a look for recent college graduates who were heading out into the working world. Oh, and their moms were coming to stir things up a bit.

As I watched the designers attempt to appease both mother and daughter (or in the case of Anna, drag queen and daughter…seriously, did you HEAR HER TALK!?), I tried to imagine how it would go if my mother and I were part of the episode.

“I like black, white, and gray. I like classic lines, but very trendy looks.” I would tell the designer.

“What about this bright orange and yellow swirly pattern? Or these culottes?! HOW CUTE IS THIS LEOPARD SKIRT?!” My mother would react. And then she would somehow guilt the designer into making what she wants me to wear, which she has been doing to me since I was 4. Read More »

The hot tub: thought by many to be the ultimate in places to have sex.

It’s comfortable, relaxing, heated – it’s the aquatic equivalent of sex itself! So why should you not have sex in one?

According to studies by a (virgin) urologist, hot tub humping may not be very safe.

The old rumor of man becoming infertile after too many trips to the tub has been proven correct – but how long must you stay in the water? A week?

If your guy’s testicles have been heated up to a rolling boil, yes – you should probably get out of the hot tub.

It’s also common knowledge that yes, you can get pregnant in a hot tub. make sure Aquaman wears a condom, and all of your troubles will be gone.

In other words, don’t let anybody – scientists, urologists, virgins, moms – deprive you of experiencing the ultimate. It’s all of our God-given right to experience hot tub sex. Read More »

When we first got a computer—and the internet—my sister and I pitched a fit. At age 8, I was sure that this thing called the “web” my mother was so engrossed with, was a passing fad. My mother has always been technologicaly minded, I mean the woman was getting New Zealand pen pals for her fifth grade class in ‘97. Now she’s assigned homework to 11-year-olds via her webpage and getting her class to create podcasts. Which is why, in this day and age, it is a bit easier for my mom to keep tabs on my whereabouts day in and day out.

I’ll have to admit that I’m horrible about calling home. For the most part, my life is just so damn busy and by the time I think to call, its way past their bed time. Fortunately for my mother (who has just learned to text… she never could get cell phones) she can harass me lovingly in about five different technological forms.

Point in case:

Mom 6/6/07 10:28 am: Hi call me!

Mom 6/6/07 1:33 pm: Please call me and let me know how u r! Read More »