It’s back-to-school time, and I’ve been spending some time lately thinking about what college means for our sex lives. College is our time to explore anything that interests us to find out what we really like and what type of people we want to become. We explore different majors, career paths, friendships, relationships, and sexualities. College is the first time in our lives most of us can really embrace our sexuality, explore it, and figure out how to truly enjoy it.

I go to a women’s college, so my first year was filled with questions from friends back home asking if I’d become a lesbian. My answer: so what if I had? And why did they care?

Despite the freedom we gain in college from adults, we are still constrained by our peers’ expectations of us, which can make it difficult to remain true to ourselves and create a healthy personal (and sexual) identity.

Here are some tips I hope you girls (and guys) can keep in mind while exploring sex in college. Read More »

[The following post is courtesy of Vanessa Cullins, M.D., Vice President of Medical Affairs at Planned Parenthood. If anyone knows anything about the importance of testing and sexual health, it is Dr. Cullins.]

Here’s a disturbing tidbit:  A U.S. government study found that an average of 14 percent of college women become infected with a human papilloma virus (HPV) each year. At the end of a three-year study, 43 percent of college women were infected.  Why should you care?  Because in some cases HPV can lead to cancer. To avoid HPV infection, girls and women should be vaccinated with Gardasil, which prevents infection of the types of HPV that cause 70 percent of the cases of cervical cancer in the U.S.

Here’s another: An estimated 19 million Americans are infected with a new sexually transmitted disease (STD) each year and, by the age of 25, half of all sexually active young people will contract an STD. In fact, at least one in four teenage girls already has an STD.

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Q: I was dating a guy for a month when a conversation about one of his friends turned into a talk about “us.” It hadn’t been anything serious, but I said I think that seeing each other as often as we did, it really should evolve to a relationship. The boy panicked.

This is someone who called me half the time, took me for a fancy dinner on my birthday, WANTED to hang out, asked that I not hook up with others (and I know he wasn’t either) and actually liked me, and yet, there he was telling me he could never be a boyfriend to anyone right now and that maybe we shouldn’t hang out anymore. It was actually a really disturbing freak-out. We haven’t spoken since. What gives?

A: Oh man, we’ve all been there, haven’t we? He’s totally into it, but bolts when we try to take the natural step forward.

I’ve never been a great mind-reader so I decided to take your question to someone who might have a bit more insight into the male mind–my boyfriend. So what’s up with a guy that wants to act like a boyfriend until you actually say the word “boyfriend”? Read More »

After reading a recent CC article on a book that’s supposed to expose all the reasons men cheat, I got to thinking; what’s my opinion on dudes and cheating? Someone once told me that the reason men cheat is because there’s a small part of their brain missing, a part that is conveniently lodged in their manhood, thus creating and coining the term: “Men think with their d*cks.”

So, do I believe that all men are destined to cheat? Yes and No. Here’s why.

I think everyone – male or female – can be destined to cheat on his or her significant other. I think monogamy is an extremely hard thing to achieve, no matter what gender or age. Monogamy in your 20s is especially difficult; the temptations of college parties, combined with the excessive amounts of booze, plus a heated fight with your bf or gf, can lead to you waking up in the morning thinking, “oh my God!” when you swore to yourself you’d never cheat (trust me, I’ve been there).

But do I think men are more inclined to cheat than women? Well, that depends. Personally, I think men and women cheat for different reasons. Men (and I’m not talking ALL men, so you faithful ones, don’t get your boxer briefs in a twist) cheat because, well, they see a hot piece of ass and want to pounce. Men cheat because they feel an urge (usually in their pantelones) and want to act on that urge, with someone who isn’t constantly nagging them about doing this or doing that, as us girlfriends are known to do. Read More »

My birthday was a few days ago and, as with any birthday, it brought with it a need for self reflection (I hesitate to use the words “existential crisis”, but, if you insist.) It occurred to me that I’m an adult now, really and truly, and as such I’ve been dating for a long time. I have learned something from all those years of failed, miserable relationships. And I am going to impart those things to you, things that I’m sure many of you know and have learned the hard way. Some of these things are rather obvious now, but I sure wish I would have known them when I started dating.

10. Long term relationships make you fat. Birth Control + Getting too comfortable = Letting yourself go.

9. The amount of effort you have to put into a relationship is directly proportional to the chances of said relationship failing. Don’t get me wrong, every single relationship takes effort and compromise and there has never been an easy relationship in the history of the universe. What I’m saying is, if you are trying really, really hard to make the relationship work, that probably means that there is enough wrong with said relationship to warrant a breakup. It also probably means that your significant other is not trying as hard as you are and is, therefore, less invested in you. And you should breakup sooner rather than later. (see #3)

8. If a guy doesn’t want to ever go down on you, he’s a scumbag. Dump him immediately. Read More »

Some girls lose their virginities to their first loves: some taller, older, handsome man (er, boy) who says I love you and kisses her neck and asks, “Baby, does this hurt?”

Other girls get drunk in basements off Jack Daniels when they’re 14, take off their shirts and find themselves straddling some younger boy on a bed in the corner of some dirty room, only to discover they are being watched by several on-lookers when they receive a swift slap on the ass.

…Or something to that effect.

Perhaps my first sexual experience has tainted my view of sexuality. I mean, how could it not? I guess some girls really do get the whole rose-petals-on-the-bed thing, but not every girl, and I’m here to tell the story of the ones who don’t. Read More »

• This device could only have been invented by a man.

• Jessica Simpson and Dolly Parton to Du-et.

• Would you wear this?

• With the Hawaii Chair, you will never work out again.

• If you don’t know this band, you should.

• Jack spills beans about Project Runway.

• Kissing, Monogamy & The Future Of Makin’ Babies.

• Starbucks … Closing in a city near you.

• Avril Lavigne wants to make you smell like a slut.

• Cat Power or Frank Sinatra? You decide.

• Top Gun is really gay.

Must be a misprint, right? Actually, no. Turns out, a new study shows that female cheetahs are sluts. Yep, according to the article, “new research shows nearly half of their litters are made up of cubs with different fathers.” That’s pretty impressive work. Of course, all this sex obviously comes at a price, as researchers claim that the cheating cheetahs find themselves more exposed not only to predators as they seek out new partners, but to diseases as well. Sort of makes me feel better that humans aren’t the only creatures that can be punished for enjoying life’s sexual pleasures more often then perhaps we should be.

For me, this brings up an interesting question. Diseases notwithstanding (and I know it’s hard to completely disregard that consequence), would girl sleep around more if it were more socially acceptable? In my opinion, the chief reason that most girls aren’t as “slutty” as their male counterparts is just that: the word slut, and other such derogatory terms.

Everyone knows at this point about the sick double standard that differentiates guys and girls and their respective sexual habits. Guys who get around receive accolades from their friends, and pick up reputations as players and general badasses (note: this is not always the case, as I’m now carrying around a reputation of being a bit of a slut myself). But if a girl sleeps around, and people find out about it, the girl is usually labeled as a slut or whore, and she gets made fun of incessantly behind her back by both guys and her fellow girls (way to stick together, ladies). Read More »