Closure. What does that term actually mean?

From conversations with my girl friends, I’ve deduced that “closure” is when you can finally move on from a failed relationship. My friends have described it as the feeling you get once you can finally put the relationship behind you and say goodbye to an ex for good.

But how do we get there? When does that come? And how do we know? Does closure really mean we have to say goodbye to move on? Does it imply that women must kick someone out of their lives to move on with their own?

Well if so, I’m screwed.

My ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for years and he is still a sporadic fixture in my life. I met him in elementary school, fell in love with him when I was 16, and now I’m 21 and he is still around. He’s faded into the background a bit, but he’s most definitely still in the picture.

And despite having him around, I am honestly, 100% over him. After a few years of messy friendship and the occasionally stupid hook-up, I finally got over it (hallelujah!) and moved on. I slowly but surely pulled myself together and was happy being single and on my own. After that, I dated and even fell in love again. Read More »

We all know that women tend to be a little more emotional than men, but when it comes to break ups, shouldn’t everyone be a little hurt? Shouldn’t both parties be at least a little emotional?

Why then does it always seem like the guys are moving on so much faster? While we sit home and watch sad movies and listen to sad music as our friends force feed us, our guys are out at the bar with their friends picking up chicks and having a grand ole’ time.

How can they get over it so quickly? Are girls – even serious girlfriends – that disposable and easy to move on from? I asked one of my boys for the lowdown. His perspective may not make you feel better, but it does explain a lot. Read More »

Here’s the scene: You walk into your favorite coffee shop on Friday evening after class. You’re fumbling for your wallet and about to order a mocha latte when you notice a pretty cute guy sitting across the room. As if on cue, he looks up and notices you, too. You both smile and redirect your gazes to the ground.

“Ma’am?” says the barista. “Can I help you?”

Right. So after you finally get your coffee, you amble over by the cute dude’s table and strategically sit near him. After a few minutes of awkward eye contact, he gathers up his stuff and asks if he can sit with you. Score, right? You abandon all thoughts of starting your paper early as you gaze into his hazel eyes and find out that you both love cheese fondue and college basketball. As it grows dark outside, he mentions he has to leave, so you take a deep breath and get up the courage to ask him The Question: “Hey… do you wanna hang out again sometime?”

And here’s the answer: “Oh. Um… I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just see you around.”

OUCH!

Congratulations—you’ve liked a guy who doesn’t like you back. We’ve all been there. But is it really as bad as it seems? Read More »