Hey there Dude,

(Sorry my email is so damn long)

I wrote to CC earlier this year and got a lovely reply from Tuffy Luv.

I am now writing to you because my current question definitely needs a dude’s advice. How do I convince my man to move in with me when he’s not on tour? Except I’m asking in terms of what can I do to better myself and my life so that my man looks at me and goes, “My girlfriend has something I want that’s missing in my current awesome life, and I want to be with her every second that I’m not on tour.”

First, a bit more background situation. Our long distance relationship has been working out really well. I have no more worries (usually!) about if we’re going to make it or not. My concern now is how we are when we’re together for a long time. Read More »

Question?! Answer: Ask TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost all of college (we’re seniors) and he’s my perfect guy. I never believed in soul mates until I met him. We get along great, we have so much in common, we have almost all the same friends, and it’s just a great situation.

Perfect, right? Well, I thought so.

We’ve  been making plans to move in together, and he seemed totally fine with that, but a couple of week ago I mentioned in passing something about getting married (I know, I know) and he threw a major curveball at me. It turns out that he won’t marry me–unless I convert to Catholicism.

I never knew this was a big deal for him. He doesn’t seem to be very religious (I’ve never seen him go to church except Christmas and Easter) and he’s never brought this up before. But when we talked about it a couple of weeks ago he was really clear that I would need to convert or else it wasn’t going to work.

I thought about it for a while. I’m not religious so I thought, hey, what the heck, maybe I should just do it for him. But then I started getting kind of mad. Why do I have to pretend I believe in something that he never even told me he cared about before? I think it would really upset my parents and, actually, I think it would really upset me, too. I don’t think I should have to pretend to be something I’m not.

I don’t know if I should be mad or break up with him before it goes any further or convert or what. Also, don’t you think it’s kind of suspicious? He can move in with me but he can’t marry me? Is this BS because he just doesn’t want to marry me?

I don’t know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated. Until then, I am

Not Converting

Read More »

"No, dad, I do not want the desk in the middle of the room."

It’s the start of a new school year and to honor that, we at CollegeCandy are bringing back our favorite series “We’ve All Been There.” Every week, Lauren – University of Michigan will comment on the common experiences all college women share, including some new ones thrown into the mix.

After a long drive and an even longer wait to get a prime spot by the curb, you get out of the car (where you were pressed between the door and a chest of plastic drawers for the past three hours) and start unloading your life onto the sidewalk. Sweaty students circle you, maneuvering their university-supplied dolly around your growing pile of stuff, while “Move-in Makers” (or older students who were clearly roped into this by their student organization) rush towards you and offer to help.

You pile your first load onto the flat bed, load your mom up with the lighter stuff (like your laptop and backpack) and make your first trip into the dorm while your dad sits outside to “watch your stuff”/take a moment to breathe and work off the road rage.

You check in, get your keys, then follow one of the helpers to the elevator. When an empty one finally arrives, you elbow your way in, rolling over yours/everyone else’s toes in the process. You push the button for your floor and stand awkwardly close to a complete stranger holding a microwave until the door opens on your floor. Read More »

It’s been raining nonstop since my graduation. Is the weather trying to tell me something? Maybe, but I’ve been too busy to notice. Although I have spent the last four years reading, writing, Facebook stalking, attending classes in my pajamas, and dancing on dirty frat house floors (all taxing activities in their own ways), I have to say – this past week has been incredibly busy and I’ve only been doing one thing: packing!

First, there was the great dorm room move-out adventure. After four years, I certainly compiled quite a handful of college collectibles such as princess tiaras, hot pink feather boas, and an unlimited number of Post-its in all shapes, sizes, and colors. This move-out consisted of me scrutinizing every little thing: “Am I really going to crack open this Literature Criticism and Theory book again?” and “Will this orange American Apparel dress look good outside of a strobe lighted dance floor?” Even though it was incredibly annoying and time-consuming to go through everything, I managed to clean up my entourage of trinkets and memorabilia (and I even managed to donate a lot to Goodwill!).

You know what happens after moving out though…You have to move in somewhere. So, I made the seven hour drive from Virginia to Georgia and moved into my mother’s new house. Did I mention she moved to a mountain in the middle of nowhere and lives off a dirt road now, instead of living just a short car ride away from metropolitan Atlanta? Oh yeah, but that’s a story for another day. Since my arrival, I have done nothing more than move my stuff in and, well, unpack those boxes I just spent hours taping up and carrying out. Read More »

Question for Her Tuffness?! Ask it at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and Tuffy’ll try ‘n’ be nice. No promises.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m going to college in the fall, and my love life needs major help. I’ve been seeing my girlfriend for about 3 years now, and it’s been shaky at best. We started out the first year strong, always together, resolving to not care what others thought, the usual.

As time went on, we started to fight more, and it was always over little things. We hate each other’s friends (she goes to my old school, which is just right down the road), school work started getting heavy, she got a job, and we both fought to keep a social life while still seeing each other.  Throughout the 3 years, we’ve broken up numerous times, and only once for a good reason (she was fooling around with another woman and denied it!). The trust hasn’t ever returned since that incident, even though it never happened again.

Now college is starting, and she wants to live together next year, because our colleges are right down the road and neither of us are living on campus. The thing is, I don’t know if I even want to be with her anymore, let alone stay with her. College is supposed to be the best time of your life, but I feel like living- and continuing to see her- is seriously going to put a damper on that. Besides all that, I’m not even sure if I still love her; we never see each other anymore, and when we talk too much we usually argue.

But every time we break up, I can’t stop thinking about her. I’m not sure if it’s because my social life lately has sucked, because I actually want to be with her, or because I just want her to know that when she loses me, she is losing a great thing! I am smart, funny, and have big goals in life. Oh, and living alone next year would suck, because I’d have to pay all the bills alone (no one else is going to my college).  What should I do?

Sincerely,
Undecided Read More »

"I love....how much money we're saving by doing this."

[It's pretty obvious that the average CollegeCandy reader has some very strong opinions. Opinions that she likes to share with everyone on the site. We love a strong woman, so we thought we'd give her a real forum to discuss her thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Every Friday I'll be featuring a hot topic (like lingerie!) and leaving it up to you, the readers, to duke it out. So, read it and get your debate on in the comments section below!]

Even though I keep hearing the recession’s over, those of us on a student budget are still tightening our belts (and not because it makes us look thinner). A lot of innnovative ways to save have popped up in the last few years, but one of the most life-changing is the idea of moving in with the significant other to save on rent.

There are some good reasons girls are doing this, no question. First and foremost – money! Splitting your payments with a roommate makes the payments easier on all, but more over, by splitting with the BF your money (and his) is actually going to the place you’re both spending time. Most couples tend to spend most of their time at one person’s place (usually the one without the creepy or obnoxious roommate/that weird cabbage smell) so it makes sense to pool the money into that place’s rent instead of splitting it up between two different apartments when one barely gets used.  And the money crunch can be a good excuse for moving in – like, say, if your parents are a little less than thrilled about your relationship turning all grown up – if it was something you had planned on doing anyway. Read More »

There’s a great many things to do and places to see in this world of ours.  As humans, our lives are pretty short (and if you party like I do, it’s probably going to be even shorter).  So we have to prioritize!  We have brains for a reason and that reason is…reasoning (well, at least some of us use them for that purpose: see comment about partying above).  Let me be your voice of reason as I show you all the things you should be doing right here, right now.

We’re always told “less is more.”  I’m sure a couple of you out there are familiar with the concept (it’s certainly true in the case of kissing and the amount of tongue insertion…and someone needs to inform that guy I made out with last night).  Recently, I’ve become more attracted to the concept of having less stuff.  This may be because I moved into a single room in the dorms that’s smaller than my walk-in closet at home, but I’d like to think that maybe something else is influencing me.  Perhaps it’s time for society to downgrade.

Think about how much stuff you really have.  Not just the clothes and the shoes (which, for me, is the bulk of my possessions), but every little thing.  Now think about what among those things you couldn’t live without.  If you think hard enough, it’s probably not a lot.  In fact, I’m betting you could live without 98% of your possessions (excluding the ones that, you know, make you smell better and whatnot).  So why not go for it?  Throw your stuff away!  Or, at the very least, donate it to a charitable cause (even though a bonfire of your former possessions is so much more demonstrative…and fun).  You’ll feel better – I promise.  Read More »

Living in the dorms is one of the most essential college experiences. Years from now, you’ll tell your friends and family of all your adventures and mishaps. You’ll never forget those obnoxious fire-drills at 3 am, the industrial blue carpeting, how hard it was for you to climb up into your bed…whilst drunk.

Most of all, when you look back you’ll remember the people you spent these times with, and all the friends you made. But when it comes to dorm buddies, there are the good friends (they don’t steal your shampoo and they grasp the concept of hygiene) and then there are your dorm BFF’s…

The Aspiring DJ: As annoying as his incessant Facebook messaging may be, the DJ is a good dorm friend to have. Not only does he have vast knowledge of the hottest clubs in town, he knows the cheapest best nights to go. His iTunes shared library is effing awesome and he’s always happy to demo his spinning skillz at whatever event you’re hosting (AKA whatever themed pre-party you’re having in your room, he’s happy to bring an equally festive mastermix). Not only is he the life of the party with his hilarious and entertaining personality, but he has a special place in his heart for nightly AYCD party buses. He wants as many of his friends at all his gigs as possible, so you’re always on the V.I.P. list when he MC’s at da club. Read More »

While some colleges have a quick one-day orientation or even a simple online registration, other colleges have week-long activities ranging from seminars and lectures to outdoor orienteering adventures. The goal of orientation is to make sure students feel at home on campus or, at least, well versed on where to go, whom to talk to, and what the school offers. Orientation is a way to make nervous first-years feel connected to their academic community of students.

I will never forget moving into my dorm during my first year orientation week being completely scared out of my mind. However, at Hollins, meeting people came easy. In fact, we were put into groups of six or seven students with a student advisor, who was a grade or two older than us, to spend the week with. We played ice-breaker games, talked about high school, and spent the days getting to know each other in the August heat. My student advisor, known as a Student Success Leader (SSL), was a quiet sophomore, English major (just like me). She helped my fellow group members put together our schedules, get to our seminars on time, and learn all about Hollins and its academics.

Although orientation went quickly, I never forgot how amazing my SSL was. She went out of her way to stay in contact with all of us first years, even leaving us goodie bags of finger puppets and Hello Kitty stickers. She always made herself available, and I couldn’t have thanked her more. Read More »

It’s weird how when you’re away from your campus for so long and you finally roll into familiar stomping grounds, you feel like you never left. It seems like a dumb and cliché thing to say, but there’s something about being dropped from one familiar place (home) to another familiar place (school) that erases what little shock value might want to rear its ugly head.

Maybe it’s because I wanted to come back to school more badly than ever before, but I’m not having a hard time tucking summer into closets and chests. I’m still a little shell-shocked, though. I think it might have something to do with knowing that this is my last year here. I made this place my home more than real home, and not being here just sounds…wrong.

My school isn’t very nice to its upperclassmen, so I moved in on Saturday – which is a bitch when you live on the third floor with NO elevator – and started classes this Monday. I think maybe it’s to try and limit our Welcome Week to Welcome Weekend.

Like I told you guys last time, I’m playing the catch-up game, so I’ve got twenty credits this semester… and 16 next semester? Not sure how that one’s gonna work, what with my school only giving 4-credit courses, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. That’s five classes. Still, it’s nowhere near as bad as it sounds. There’s an ass-crack of dawn class (really, it’s only 8:30, but if the sun is still in the east it’s too early for me) that only has six people in it, a general psychology class STOCKED with freshmen (more on that later), an acting class that I can already see is going to be my chill-class, a colonial American Literature class with a professor who loves to hear himself talk, and an advanced poetry class that I still haven’t taken and I’m a little worried about. Read More »