The challenge consisted of constructing a catapult to launch raw chickens from (flashback to hottie, circa Flava Flav Season 1) and the first team to catch and place five raw chickens on the plates, wins the challenge and seals their fate away from elimination for the night.

As always, alliances began to form between teams before the mission even started. At the route of all problems was – surprise, surprise – trashy, plastic Megan, who formed too many alliances, causing Destiny, Mr. Boston and Brandi C. to be chosen as the three bottom players.

Originally, Megan, Brandi C. and Mr. Boston formed an alliance with 12 Pack, the winning team’s captain, to try and get White Boy’s name into the box, as he’s seen as the biggest threat. However, plans were brought to a halt when Megan and White Boy formed an alliance together to save each other, which they did, but not before Megan threw her prior “partners in crime” under the elimination bus.

It’s safe to say that Mr. Boston cracked; his ranting and hysterical screams were on par with a ten year old girl’s temper tantrum. He felt it was wrong that the alliance was broken and, while his argument was valid, his behavior (stomping around, the waterworks, etc.) pretty much gave 12 Pack enough validation he needed to send the semi-unstable New England boy packin’ — but not before Mr. Boston and Brandi C. called Megan out on her traitor like ways. Still, she was not in the bottom three, so she sat there, holding her little Chihuahua dog, oh so Paris Hilton like.

While she may have been safe last night, next week’s challenge looks like it’s centering on The Entertainer’s main squeeze to go home. Teammates gang up on Destiny, causing a rift in both teams mentalities, but who knows how the end will turn out.

People are gunning for White Boy too, but he’s been smart enough to keep himself from landing in the bottom bunch. I’m rootin’ for him to win…so let’s hope he stays there.

Tune in next week, folks!

[photo courtesy of vh1.com]

The challenge consisted of picking partners – before everyone knew the challenge, of course – and sitting with them at little tables, where the host then informed the teams that they were in a kissing challenge; meaning, you had to kiss your partner and the longest maker-outers won for their team. It was all fun and games until Chance – admittedly homophobic – and his partner, Mr. Boston, realized they had to lock lips on national television.

Once again, Chance botched the challenge, losing the game for the Green Team. I know you’re part of the Stallionaires and everything buddy, and have your reputation to protect, but it was for a split second and then you could stop (each player had to just touch lips in order to not be disqualified and Chance wouldn’t even do that)…talk about a team player.

As the Captain and Team Challenge Winner, The Entertainer, who is now “dating” Destiny (dating, as in what??? The show’s been on how long???), got to choose three individuals to interrogate and then, choose which one to eliminate. Mr. Boston, Bikini-clad Megan and Heat (Destiny’s old flame) were on the chopping block.

While Mr. Boston came up with a scheme to pretend he was sick as a dog to save himself from going home, The Entertainer questioned Heat and Megan on their intentions, and ultimately, sent Heat packin’ since he was a threat to him for Destiny. And I mean, who wouldn’t be a threat to a 30-year-old pizza boy who lives in his parents basement.

Megan still continues to be a slutty, pain in the ass, in the house, causing problems between newly formed hook-up, Heather and Twelve Pack. Kiss her fake-boobs out already puhlease!

So far, the challenges have been lame, but the drama makes up for it. Next weeks’ episode looks explosive when White Boy and Mr. Boston go head to head.

[photo courtesy of vh1.com]

First off, the challenge consisted of going up on a bed-like crane structure, above water and battling it out one-on-one with pogo-peg sticks, used to pummel each other in the head and body. Rodeo and Destiny were team captains, making it a huge bitch fest when it came to picking five people for each team to battle each other.

Rodeo’s gold team lost to Destiny’s Green Team, but not after Mr. Boston beat the crap out of Nibblz, claiming that he was so excited to have this “sexual experience” of wrestling a girl in a bed, 50 feet in the air.

My favorite part of the episode however, was when the teams had to pick out the three weakest people and Destiny – being the team captain of the winning team – got to decide who to eliminate, but not before taking out the three weakest players: Nibblz, Toasty and Pumkin, out to a Mexican fiesta lunch.

Toasty and Pumkin – television’s two classiest ladies (the porn star and award winning spitter) formed an alliance before the luncheon to convince Destiny that, because they’re weaker competitors than Nibblz, to keep them in the game and kick Nibblz to the curb. Plus, as Toasty said regarding Nibblz getting her kicked off Flavor of Love for her porn activities, “payback’s a bitch.”

The four girls talked, (drank, obvi), ate and danced, while plotting their scheme to stay in the house. Toasty faked an ankle injury and Pumpkin cried to Destiny about an eating disorder. Nibblz didn’t feed into the game and, just as the others predicted, was sent packin’. Regardless of the way it happened, considering Nibblz was the one to lose the game for them after all her trash talking about kicking Mr. Boston’s ass, she was the right person to send home.

Looking forward to watch next week which starts off with The Entertainer telling dumb-bo Megan to take a hike, bikini and all. Not to mention, the little love triangle between Destiny, – America’s favorite groupie – Heat and The Entertainer.

(picture courtesy of vh1.com)

Let me just comment on a few of the wonderful tidbits of the season premier that reassured viewers that this will be reality at its finest:

Twelve-Pack and Heather. So, Rock of Love’s no.1 craziest bitch is going to get it on with the speedo, spandex wearing drunk who, despite from his abs, is about one tap dance away from being the most sexually confused man on television.

Brandi C. You spray painted your dog pink. PINK. You are not Paris Hilton honey and even she hasn’t stooped to that level yet.

Destiny and The Entertainer???? I don’t know if you watched previews for the season, but it looks like our favorite Bret Michaels groupie shacks up with the oldest pizza delivery boy! This I gotta see.

Megan. Yes, you’re hot as hell from the neck down sweetheart, but please put some clothes on. Have you ever heard less is more?

Hoops. This girl I actually really like. She’s tough, athletic and seems to be smart. However, why introduce us to your live-in boyfriend on the pre-show, only to seemingly play him for “real” this season?

Mr. Boston. A part of me feels bad for this guy; he gets picked on for being the token white, nerdy kid and I think he’s actually just trying to fit in, in some sick, twisted, wear a man-thong around the house all day, sort of way.

Pumkin. ‘Nuff said. Love this bitch. Can’t wait to see the dramazzzz.

Midget Mac. Watching him not get picked made me feel like I was in the school playground, last to get picked for dodgeball again. Maybe they didn’t like him in a speedo? or his attitude perhaps? Your girl is pregnant dude, go home and be responsible.

Toastee. Who wants to put money down that her and someone on the show make a porno? I got 50 bucks on it.

Whether it’s more men in speedos, cat fights or some nooky nooky, we’re all guaranteed to have a good time tuning in every week to this Reality Razzie Award Winner.

Tune in next week when I Love Money takes trashiness to a whole new level (and I recap it in all it’s horrible, horrible glory).

How do I know? Because I’m really, really looking forward to this.

Yes, you understood that video correctly–there is going to be a show in which reality “stars” from Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, and I Love New York compete for cash (specifically, $250,000). And not the actual stars. It’s going to be the doofuses (doofii?) who competed for the lame stars’ hearts. (Note: New York is not lame. New York is a marvel of nature whose delightful bizarreness I will love for always. Just so’s ya know.)

Annnnyway, let’s take a look at the cast, shall we?

Brandi C. from Rock of Love

That weird blonde chick from the first season who kept calling Bret her boyfriend is back for the moolah. Having tried porn after she got off the show (frankly, not surprising), she was ready to jump back on the screen and into our hearts. Wait, did I say hearts? I meant nightmares.

The Entertainer from I Love New York

The crazo who got kicked off the show for living with his parents is back for more. This guy was pretty freaking crazy–there was an episode where he was convinced the house was haunted, so he wouldn’t take off his construction helmet. And I mean; what those two wacko things even have to do with one another I do not know.

Hoopz from Flavor of Love

The first ever (of three, but still) winner of FOL is back to kick some butt. She always seemed kind of dumb to me (and I was pissed when she beat New York [have I mentioned I really like New York?]) but maybe she’ll actually keep the prize this time…

Midget Mac from I Love New York

Yeah, he never had a chance before, but maybe he’ll win this one! MM is a wacky lil’ guy (I can say that! I’m under 5′ myself!), but he’s actually pretty lovable. I hope he wins it for his kids.

Megan from Rock of Love

And *ahem* Beauty and the Geek. Lame. Megan is like my least favorite of all of these people. Not only does she appear to be an idiot, but she also appears to be vindictive, like when she took what’s-her-face’s note off Bret’s door and then copied the idea and lied about the whole thing. She totally sucks, and is totally NOT as cute as she seems to think. Therefore, I hope she gets kicked off first.

Nibblz from Flavor of Love

I actually had to look this one up. And then, unfortunately, I remembered. Nibblz is the bisexual stripper who showed Flav’s friends her boob. Also, she was gross and has a weird lisp. But, okay, good luck, Nibblz. Let’s see what you got.

Real from I Love New York

Real was third place on season 1. He was Chance’s brother (who New York obviously should have chosen–I’m sure, New York! But I’m glad you ended up with Tailor Made after season 2!) and actually seemed almost like a normal person. For this reason, I doubt he’ll last long, but, still, gotta root for the nice guy.

Chance from I Love New York

Like I said, shoulda won season 1! But, whatever. Chance should be awesome on this show. He’s got a weird attitude and temper, but he’s actually really funny, which is appealing in a sea of bland reality-show-wannabes. Plus I think he’ll put it into his music with Real, which is just fun and cool. Come on, Chance!

12 Pack from I Love New York

The male stripper who drank more than everyone combined and who then went off and started a touring party boy thing with Heat (his lover? just speculation on my part) is back. His face is nice, but personally, I find his freako muscles really frightening. But, you know, except for the frat boy machismo thing, he was pretty enjoyable to watch. Here’s to hoping he will be again.

Heat from I Love New York

I thought Heat was really hot (no pun intended), but it turned out he kind of had no personality. Maybe his function is this show is to make out with 12 Pack and set the show on its head when they all fight about whether or not that makes them gay.

Destiny from Rock of Love

She was kind of a groupie with a bad attitude, but, then again, her dad was very ill, so I’m going to give her a little bit of a pass and try to see her with fresh eyes this time around. Maybe she’ll throw a drink in someone’s face again. That was kind of funny.

Heather from Rock of Love

I don’t know why, but Heather was kind of the breakout star of ROL. I mean, at first she seemed like a manbot junkie for Lacey, but then she realized Lacey was evil and kind of had a righteous moment. I don’t know. I’m conflicted. But everyone else seems to love her, and she is kind of tough as sh*t, so maybe she’ll be cool.

Mr. Boston from I Love New York

He’s a gross nose-picking geek with the worst voice you can imagine (no, even worse), but New York really liked him for a while. I don’t like him, but I appreciate that he’s not a complete idiot. Maybe he’ll finally triumph. However, in the meantime, I’ll be needing earplugs.

Pumkin from Flavor of Love

Pumkin is so wild she got kicked off of Charm School for being slutty. She spit on New York (boooo), but she’s pretty funny, so I’m excited to see her back again. I mean, yeah, she’s gross, but she’s amusing. So bring it, Pumkin–let’s go!

Rodeo from Rock of Love

She’s the 85-year-old who honestly thought Bret would pick her (hint: he ended up picking a 19-year-old…so…yeah). Okay, she’s not 85, but she’s got to be in her 40s, yes? What is she doing on reality TV?! While I’m tempted to say, “get a life, lady,” Rodeo actually didn’t completely suck. Although it is weird that her name is Rodeo. Also, she’s nuts. But, meh. I’ll give ‘er a go.

Whiteboy from I Love New York

He was pretty boring, but maybe he’ll suck less here. I guess he had kind of a stoic thing going. I just can’t imagine him competing very hard. Hell, I can’t imagine him doing much. Because he’s boring.

And last, but certainly not least,

Tastee from Flavor of Love

Yeaaaah, boiiiii!!!! Tastee! Too slutty for Flav! And that’s saying something! She got kicked off for being a porn star. And she seemed so tiny and quiet! And yet somehow completely untrustworthy…didn’t she cause a fight or something? I forget. Anyway, Tastee! Psyched to have you back!

I know this is going to be the worst show ever. But I also know that I will watch it. And I know many, many other people will as well. And that’s how I know society as a whole has failed.

Thoughts?!

[Image courtesy of http://mbmfiles.com/]