Email just isn’t private anymore. Everyone knows that. Big Brother is always watching — especially if you work at a giant company where CEOs have enough money to have you killed, stuffed into a bag, and “disappeared” forever.

Which is why it’s hilarious to read about people using their work email to send private messages. How naive can you be? Don’t tell your honey about all the bad things you want to do to him that involve chocolate syrup. Don’t send a bitchy diatribe to your best friend about how your boss has constant armpit stains. DON’T DO IT.

Unless you want to end up like these people.

[photo from www.amazonmortgagecentre.com]

Fact. No one forces your profile and pictures to be seen by everyone. You can choose the option if you want, but you can also choose to only show your friends and/or those you accept.

Fact. Millersville student, Stacy Snyder, must have been unaware of these things. Either that, or she’s a moron. I’ll choose the latter.

MSN.com reports the story of Snyder, who was on track to receive a degree in teaching. Everything was going according to plan. That is, until the university discovered her Myspace pictures. And no, they were not pictures of her and her family enjoying a lovely picnic at the park, or photos of her dancing at a nice ballet recital, or of her standing in front of the Washington Monument, holding her hand out to appear as though she’s holding the tiny little monument in her hand, like this. They were pictures of her, wasted at a Halloween party, wearing a pirate costume, with a drink in her hand and the caption, “Drunken Pirate.”

Millersville refused her education degree the night before graduation (what a DISS!) and gave her an English degree instead, because the school said that she “promoted underage drinking.”

She is now suing the school for $75,000.

Stacy, honey. I know it sucks that you didn’t get your degree, and you probably aren’t some alcoholic who runs around in a pirate hat every night just because you celebrated Halloween a few years ago. But, if you wanna teach children, the innocent, young children, DON’T go posting pictures of yourself getting trashed on a PUBLIC website and devise captions that admit to your intoxication. That’s just dumb and entirely unecessary. Maybe if you were an aspiring artist, or bartender. That would make sense. But, teacher?? Come on.

Companies and schools have even admitted to looking into Facebook and Myspace to determine whether they want to hire or fire some one. Even if you did set your account settings to “private” there is always a way for a university to be sneaky – especially if they’re about to send you off to be a teacher and follow the example of the university that taught you!

Good luck with your lawsuit, but I doubt you’ll get anything. You made your bed…now lie in it!

Now, if you were so dead-set on posting pictures of yourself as a pirate, maybe you should have gone for something more like this. That’s classy.

Sometimes, however, the feedback just isn’t good enough. I’m not getting what I need. I think to myself, “Man, I wish some one like Corey Feldman or Corey Haim could answer my all of burning life questions.”

I don’t need to dream anymore. Thanks to MSN.com, both Corey Feldman AND Corey Haim will be manning their own advice column! SWEET! I mean, who better to dish out solutions to your everyday problems than two guys who were famous in the ’80′s for making like thirty movies together, had awesome hair, wicked drug problems, and turned to soft core porn in the nineties, in hopes of putting that certain shine back into their stars?

I am DEFINITELY submitting a personal question to these two crazy Corey’s. If I’m one of the lucky ones who receives a response, I will post it immediately.

Who’s Your Favorite Corey?

To reaquaint yourselves with the Corey’s before trusting them with with your deepest, darkest secrets, go to Feldman’s hot, new official website (complete with his own personal greeting!) and Haim’s official website. Is it just me, or are their websites eerily similar? I can just see them in their two-bedroom apartment, creating their websites together, saying stuff like, “Corey, dude – you GOTTA mention The Goonies more.” And t

Coreyography is right; Haimster and Feldog for life!