OK. One question: where were Spencer and Heidi on last night’s episode of The Hills? I kept waiting for them to show up at the bar, sit down with Stephanie and Lo on their double date, and pop out of the couch cushions with some healing crystals when Kristin and Brody duked it out. But they were nowhere to be found.

Did they roadtrip to Mexico to get Heidi bigger boobs?
Go on a retreat where they sacrificed baby goats in the name of their new cult leader?
Kidnap Enzo and hide out in their house until Us Weekly promised them another cover?

The show just wasn’t the same without them. Sure, watching Kristin fail miserably at this whole “I’m really cool and I totally don’t want a relationship with Brody” facade was fun to watch, but it would have been way better if Spencer was there to slam some doors and perform healing breathing exercises. And watching Heidi try to emote would have been far more entertaining than watching Brody stir up the drama pot by throwing his new chicadee (a brunette LC look-alike) into a boiling pool of bitch. Read More »

After watching some weird 80’s flashback episode of Gossip Girl, I was hoping for something a little more…er… modern entertaining when it came to The Hills last night. And besides that weird sequins headband thingy that Steph wore (and that I also wore in 1994 to a dance recital) MTV came through for me once again.

Unlike last week’s episode where nothing really happened, there was a whole lot of action last night. And everyone was at work! This is only the 2nd time we’ve seen anyone working this season. The cast has been too busy jet-setting to get anything done and I really sorta forgot that people in L.A. even have jobs. I figured they just celebrated birthday parties, went clubbing and stayed in fancy resorts in Hawaii year round.

Anyways, people were working. And people, lots of people, were getting the boot. Read More »

‘Paris Hilton’s My New BFF‘ premiered last night on MTV and I think I lost some serious brain cells after watching it. …Though I have to admit, it was mildly entertaining.

The things certain people will do to be friends with this hotel heiress are both pathetic and inherently watchable.

In the premiere episode, Paris gave her flying monkeys a head-to-toe makeover. Three of the contestants refused to do it and I was torn between yelling “Paris told you to do it, so DO IT!” and “You go girl! And Boy! Stick your guns!”

In the end, it was between I-refuse-to-change-my-hair Michelle and I-wanna-go-home Kiki. Paris ended up giving Michelle the dreaded TTYN (“talk to you never”) as  Kiki stormed off mumbling “Fake bitches”, leaving the rest of the girls looking rather confused.

Guess people will do anything for their 15 minutes.