"I don't know her. Seriously, I don't know this woman."

While waiting at JFK for my ride not too long ago, I was passing the time by sipping on some much needed coffee and people watching. Airports, with their mix of cultures and characters, are the best places to people watch.

All was going well until…out of nowhere…I saw it: a fanny pack.

I fought hard to keep that mini bag of in-flight pretzels down as I watched the dreadful fanny pack pass by. I just couldn’t understand it; fanny packs have been publicly bashed since the early ’90s, why do people insist on wearing them?

But fanny packs aren’t alone. There are so many fashion choices that people make that leave me wondering, WTF?! Sure, these things were cool 6 seasons ago, but time is a-passing, honey. Come join me in 2009. Read More »

Whenever we need to make a difficult decision, we make a list.

“Gym or TV?”
“Jeans or dress?”
“Save money or buy a new iPhone?”

So when we are constantly faced with the awful decision of which fame whore couple is more fame whorey, we make a list. No, this isn’t Sophie’s choice, but it’s our choice and it’s hard.

Moving on.

This week’s showdown is between two “celebrity” couples that spend their days on the cover of every tabloid on earth. Which couple should have kept the cameras out of their lives? Do we really have to choose?! Read More »

If I had to name one thing I love about this time of year it would not be the Gingerbread Latte, it would not be the “holiday spirit,” and it would definitely not be the ridiculous scene at the mall.

It most definitely it ugly Christmas sweaters.

Seriously, I die. They are like the mullets of holiday season: everyone knows that people make fun of them, but they never go away. Why? Is there a secret love of sequins I didn’t know about? I think it’s because I am always such a good girl every year and someone upstairs knows exactly how to repay me.

I know I am not alone in my love for overly adorned sweatervests, mostly because there were 3 other Ugly Sweater Pub Crawls happening on the very same day I took mine (see photo below). And because I saw a whole slew of them in the window at Talbots. And, the best reason of all, because someone created this amazingly awesome website where you can make your very own Christmas sweater!

Score! This is even better than finding those gems at the Salvation Army… and it doesn’t smell nearly as musty. The possibilities are endless! Choose your style (crewneck, sweatervest, or cardigan) and then throw as much Christmas crap as you can on there! Sure, it looks a little overdone, but I am pretty sure I saw this exact sweater at the thrift store when I was shopping. Read More »

Daniel Radcliffe …for some reason… would love to play a drag queen

Freud was right. We’re all gross.

Nothing says “save my career” like playing a stalker

What they don’t tell you on TV about losing weight

Dora “the Hoochie” Explorer

My Fall Resolution is to find a hat that doesn’t make my face look stupid

How NOT to get laid

These Mamas make hardcore ciz-ash

Who’s got the better mullet?

Are you ready for some “deep” Vampires?

Treat that sex addiction

Our dreams have come true: Josh Hartnett has a sex tape.

Hey, remember Trapped in the Closet? You know, R. Kelly’s AMAZING twenty-three part R&B soap opera chronicling the twists and turns in the life of protagonist Sylvester (R. Kelly) and about ten million secondary characters who are all tangled in the same sexy web of lies and interconnected boot-knockin’? Well R. Kelly’s Trial Debating Whether Or Not I Am In Fact A Huge Creep That Pisses On Underage Girls On Video is like Trapped in the Closet, but so so so much more kick ass.

To give you a little background, it all started in 2002 when music critic Jim DeRogatis was given a video by a currently unnamed source featuring what appeared to be R. Kelly giving an allegedly underage girl money, then getting a BJ from her, having sex with her, and pissing on her. DeRogatis broke the story in the Chicago Sun-Times, and shortly thereafter R. Kelly was charged with soliciting a minor for child pornography, seven counts of videotaping the acts, and seven counts of producing child pornography. Now, six years after the initial indictment, the trial has begun and it’s like the sexy remix of the O.J. Simpson trial. Read More »

Having a best friend whose ridiculously good-humored father has had a gloriously well-kept mullet for years now, I have become quite appreciative of the ballsy hairstyle. For all the nay-sayers, I have five words: better than a bowl cut! After all, who wouldn’t be fond of a little business up front, a lotta party in the back?

Well it seems that now the most popular sites on the dubya dubya dubya are adopting my same appreciation for this historic hairdo, in what has been coined “the mullet strategy”. You love that sites like Facebook, Myspace, YouTube, HuffPost, (and uh, even CNN now?) let you comment, argue, discuss, and make creepy cyber friends, right? But have you ever noticed that you can’t get to any of that fun stuff on their opening homepage? Ah, yes, the mullet strategy in full effect. Read More »