I still remember the date I had sex for the first time. It was July 16^th, and I was 16 years old. It’s odd that I remember the date, I realize, especially because it wasn’t any kind of mind-blowing experience. Looking back now, 16 seems really young – but it worked for me because I was ready. I had gotten on birth control, bought condoms, and, for lack of a better term, was ready to “get it over with.”

While I was far from the last of my friends to “lose it,” many of my close friends had already had sex, which put me in an advantageous position; I got to ask lots of questions. During these girl talk sessions, I heard the regular tidbits: it will hurt, you will bleed, and (what I was most mentally prepared for), you’re going to feel intensely attached to whoever “deflowers” you.

After a lot of anticipation, on a hot Monday afternoon,  I had sex for the first time. The moment came, the deed was done, and as I sat on the couch watching Yes, Dear with the guy I just had sex with, more than anything, I was confused. I didn’t feel any different. I didn’t instantly fall in love, I wasn’t sore, and I didn’t really understand what all the fuss was about. What’s the big deal with virginity if I’m going to be the exact same person after I do have sex? Read More »

Video games and virgins are a timeless pairing as classic as  Thelma and Louise, Brad and Angelina, and Simon and Garfunkel. The two fit so flawlessly together that it’s hard to look past the age-old stereotype. Perhaps that was the key to Heather Kelley and Erin Robinson’s win at this year’s Game Developer’s Conference where the two women took home the top prize for the Game Design Challenge after creating a video game concept entitled  “My First Time.”

Yes, these two women came up with a video game about swiping the old v-card. Read More »

God, I remember my first kiss. I remember thinking that it tasted like bananas and then I remember thinking, “Sh*t, I hope this gets better or I don’t know what all the fuss is about.”

Turns out, it got better. The kissing got better, the men I kissed got better, the touching, the sweaty make-out sessions and the ridiculous hormones that flew about with reckless abandon, that all got better and definitely got put to use, frequently.

Then, I remember my “first time”. I remember thinking that it was short. Fumbling and awkward. And then I remember thinking, “Sh*t, I hope this get’s better or I don’t know what all the fuss is about.”

Well, yippee…it got better. A lot better. For myself and my friends included. Read More »

I don’t remember losing my virginity. This isn’t a tragic story, I just got drunk and lost it somewhere, to some guy (thankfully I had the presence of mind to tell him to wear a condom.) I don’t mourn my lost hymen or cry about how I wish my first time had been more special, or at least more memorable. Or memorable at all. I honestly don’t even think about it that much.

I know that this mindset is unusual, but I don’t think it should be, necessarily. It just means that historically, sex hasn’t been an especially huge deal for me. Sure, I enjoy it as much as the next girl, maybe even more so, but I just don’t want to give it that much power in my life. I much prefer to worry about things like love or general affection in my relationship with men.

I’m a one man woman now, but before I got in to this long term relationship, I had cracked double digits. Most were one night stands with guys who were generally decent and thoughtful in the sack but I didn’t expect much from them outside the bedroom and the feeling was mutual. I don’t know if this means that I’m a modern woman in my opinions about sex, but I prefer that classification more than “whore“, or “slut“ (“Harlot” and “Hussy” I’m okay with, because they are fun to say and don’t have quite the venom that the first two words do). Read More »