Everyone in this world needs a little help when it comes to understanding and interacting with the opposite sex (especially if you want your encounter to have a “happy ending”).  Thankfully, there’s a whole slew of self-help books out there for that very subject.  Unfortunately, it’s a double-edged sword.  For as many extremely witty and helpful books that exist, there are also those that seem to exist purely to make my life more difficult (as in all those geektards from my English 101 course freshman year who suddenly think they have game and try to get all up on me during happy hour).

Browse any website or bookstore and you’ll find things that defy explanation.  Really, who publishes these things?  Who thought it would be a good idea to publish guides on how to get laid more quickly?  There are enough frat boy a-holes in the world already, why create more?  Why aren’t there books on how to be more sensitive? Or, how to shut up and do what she says? (Just kidding, but you see where I’m going.)

Here is just a taste of some of the dribble out there. Beware of the boys wielding these books – things are bound to get ugly.

Copy, Paste & Bang! – This is a book, ostensibly, about making online dating work for men.  As in, making an online dating profile and getting laid within a 24-hour period.  After perusing the text and the reviews, I have come to the conclusion that this is a manual for internet predators.  The product description says it all:  “Copy, Paste & Bang! was written for one simple reason: to help regular guys meet women utilizing the Internet and to get you laid.“  Uhh…does anyone have Chris Hansen’s number?

The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists - I hate you, Mystery.  And you, Neil Strauss.  Why would you take a perfectly adorable, shy, and socially inept computer geek and turn him into a douchebag player??  What a waste of resources!!  This book promises to teach men the secrets of picking up women in as short a period of time as humanly possible.  Awesome.  This way, men don’t actually have to get to know the women they’re about to sleep with.  Saves time, no? Read More »

As you’re lounging by the pool, at the beach or even outside, summer reading can be one of the most relaxing activities in the warm weather. Engrossing yourself in some great chick lit novel can help ease your mind while you work on your rays. Here are some great reads:

Barefoot by Elin Hilderbrand. This is beach reading at its finest; three women – one sick with cancer, one just fired after having an affair with her student and one whose husband cheated, all move to the Hamptons for the summer. Juicy, juicy.

The Other Boleyn Girl. Before you see the movie (or if you haven’t already), read this book about the tragic love affair that will suck you in and make you unable to leave the page.

Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin. This book chronicles best friends in love with the same man and how an unexpected romance changes everyones lives for the better. The best part: there’s a sequel! Read More »

In a dark, moderately dirtball Irish pub with adorable bartenders straight from Ireland, I am approached by a liquor promoter. He’s pretty good-looking, obviously a flirt because who else takes a job as a promoter, and so begins his attempt as he hands me a keychain:”Who do you get? Who do people always say you look like?”

I reply the truth, no one, because no one even thinks I look like myself after changing the hair. But the promoter has an opinion,

“Okay, so, you definitely don’t have some features she has, which is a good thing, but—”

Is he serious? I am intrigued by the obvious trap he is setting for himself. Why is it that dumb must always accompany pretty?

“—did you watch Blossom? I swear, you’re a post nose-job Blossom…. No, it’s a good thing!”

Was it really? I spent the rest of the evening staring at my nose in the mirror behind the bar and glaring at the promoter, who at the end of the evening thought he had a shot at seeing me at his ‘gig’ next weekend. Read More »

I was watching The Pick-up Artist marathon yesterday. (BTW, congratulations on winning, “Kosmo,” who seems as though he’s actually a struggling actor rather than a struggling smooth talker. Whatever he is, I’m sure he’ll be snagging all the hot women now that he’s rolling with this guy.)

Anyway, my ears perked up when one of the contestants stumbled over to a table of women and basically said, in between the stuttering and awkward silences,

“So I have this friend, and he’s dating this girl, and she found a shoe box under his bed full of pictures of his ex, and now she’s really pissed. What’s up with that?”

Let’s ignore how obnoxious it is when a strange guy interrupts your conversation at a bar to “open a set” as Mystery so maturely defines it. Snooping is not the least bit uncommon. We’ve all done it…right? So, the question is – is it wrong, or is it smart? Read More »

If a guy wearing a big furry hat, black nail polish, and eyeliner thicker than yours walked up to you in a bar and threw insults your way, would you suddenly become weak-kneed and fall into his arms?

Me either.

But apparently, a lot of women do. Which is why there’s a new show on VH1 called The Pick-Up Artist, starring one of the worst dressed men I’ve ever seen in my life, Mystery.

Yes. That’s the name he wants the world to call him.

Evidently, Mystery (God, it’s so hard to type that) is one of the best Pick-Up Artists in the world (How was this decided? Was there a Pick-Up Artist Olympics?), and he wants to share his tips and tricks with a bunch of viginy losers of national television. Mystery guarantees he will change these men’s lives, while making them irresistible to the ladies. Read More »

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a girl complain about how they always date the bad guy and are not attracted to nice guys, I would be a freakin millionaire by now. It’s the typical college girl dilemma: Do you go for the mysterious and enticing bad boy who will most likely break your heart or stick with the comfortable sweet guy who is more of a good friend and absolutely adores your every move?

In my dating experience, I have gone back and forth. After getting my heart broken by the asshole frat guy, I opted for a more conservative wholesome dude. The only problem was that I had to force myself to be attracted to the latter and eventually gave up on that after a few months. I have now settled somewhere in the middle with my current bf. Or at least I’ll keep telling myself that.

Regardless, I do think that nice guys tend to get the short end of the deal; I stumbled upon a website recently with many entertaining reasons why women tend to prefer bad guys, from a woman’s point of view.

Here are a few of my personal favorites from the list that I found funny and actually somewhat true:

“Nice guys feel so undeserving of ‘awesome you’ that they make you feel that you have, most assuredly, picked a real loser.” Read More »