The New Sexual Stigma: Remaining A Virgin In College

ccandyjessne — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 23:00:12 +0000

I’m 20 years old. Decent looking, intelligent, quite funny and personable. I’ve had a few boyfriends, but none have seemed to stick. I’ve also had a few drunken encounters, but never been drunk enough to let myself go all the way (not that I would want that to happen). I’m a perfectly normal, acceptable, approachable human being. And yet, I’m still a virgin.

I really don’t have a huge problem with that…cliche as it sounds, there hasn’t been anyone yet that I would even consider worthy of my “sacred gift”, as my Catholic school teacher called it. Nor am I saving myself for marriage. It’s crossed my mind, being raised in a pretty conservative family, but I’m not going to lie and say that if the right person and situation were to arrive….well, you know.

No, I’m fine with being a virgin. It’s other people that seem to have a problem with it. It’s not that my friends ridicule me for it or anything, but there is a certain awkwardness whenever the topic of sexual conquests and such comes up in conversation. I’ve tried to tell them a thousand times that it’s totally fine to talk about sex around me, I do know what it is and the mechanics involved. I guess they feel like they’re making me feel naive or something ridiculous like that.

It’s also pretty annoying the assumptions that people make about me when it comes up in conversation. I can’t count the number of times that I’ve been at a party and somehow the topic of sex comes up (as it often does at college parties), and I am met with horrified stares when I nonchalantly utter the words, “No, I’m a virgin.”

You would think that I’d told them my dog just died. People have actually tried to console me, saying things like, “Oh, it’ll happen for you eventually. Don’t worry about it!” Are you kidding me?

So, I guess I just want to debunk a few myths about virgins:

1. I don’t spend all day pining to FINALLY have sex.

2. I will not sleep with the first person who offers.

3. I am not Amish/Mormon/Southern Baptist/member of an anti-sex cult (although all of those are perfectly valid reasons for someone to remain a virgin…except possibly that last one).

4. I do know what sex is, and how it works.

5. Talking about sex doesn’t make me uncomfortable.

6. Just because I haven’t had sex doesn’t mean I’m not having fun.

So in the future, non-virgins, try to understand where I’m coming from.

I mean, lest ye forget, you were all virgins once too!

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The New Sexual Stigma: Remaining A Virgin In College